


Wild horses couldn’t drag me away (from my soulmate)

by mortenavida, PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson



Series: A Walk on the Wild Side (With You) [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (offscreen) - Freeform, (some of it literal), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Animal Abuse, Animal Neglect, Animals, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Depressed Steve Rogers, Fluff, Human Experimentation, Kidnapping, M/M, Modern Bucky Barnes, Podfic Welcome, SHIELD’s A+ Parenting, Slow Burn, Snow leopards, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Spirit Animals, Steve Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Transformative Works Welcome, Unethical Experimentation, Zoo, animal experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 47,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortenavida/pseuds/mortenavida, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson/pseuds/PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson
Summary: Bucky’s spirit mark has always been different, and Steve’s never had one. Things are changing though, and they could both use someone to stay at their six.
Relationships: Steve/Bucky (pre-relationship)
Series: A Walk on the Wild Side (With You) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857838
Comments: 68
Kudos: 118
Collections: Stucky Reverse Bang 2020





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22965304) by [BlueSimplicity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSimplicity/pseuds/BlueSimplicity). 



> Welcome one and all to my first Reverse Big Bang fic! 
> 
> Thanks to BlueSimplicity, who inspired me with her wonderful fic, How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate. It was a lot of fun to read, and the reason that I did a Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU! I suggest you check it out if you enjoy this story!
> 
> Thanks also to the wonderful mods of this event, for making my first Bang run so smoothly, answering my constant questions, and being so accommodating of delays because of the craziness that is right now! I really appreciate all the hard work you put into these events!
> 
> Last of all, I have to thank my wonderful artist, Mortenavida. I loved the moodboard she made, and had to write a fic for it! But not only did she make art, but she made extra art, as well as chapter headers! And that’s not even all, she also agreed to edit it, helped me plot it out, was my rubber duck for quite a few ideas, and was an awesome cheerleader and friend when I was feeling down! I truly cannot express how appreciative I am of her and her contributions! Without her helping me every step of the way, this fic would never have existed (or not been nearly as good)! Thank you again!😘
> 
> A word from the artist:Hey all! This is my first foray into working on the artist side of bangs and I had an absolute blast! I wasn't sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn't excepting this awesome novel of a fic! And with soulmates?! YES. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did!!
> 
> And with that out of the way, a warning:this story has a final word count of about 47k, (that is nearly novel length right there, I almost wrote a novel for this event!) and I will be posting twice a day for most days until the 31st, so expect a lot of notifications if you subscribe!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this fic, and comments and kudos are highly appreciated!

  
[Link to photo](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/ss4w.png)

Bucky was on the table in the lab again. 

The straps dug into his arms-no, his arm he reminded himself. The left one had been amputated, too destroyed from the explosion to be saved without a lot of effort. They were all about efficiency here, not one bit of wasted effort. 

He had been taken here with the remains of two squads, one of which he led, and they had all been used for whatever experiments they had been running. Even Clive had been injected with something, and he had been near death, covered in shrapnel wounds and bleeding out. 

None of them had any idea what the scientists were doing, but they had all agreed that it was no good. 

They had all been injected regularly, and it seemed to be a different formula every time, with the results recorded in the lab for a couple hours after the injection, before they were thrown back into the cell. 

The cell was made of concrete, with a thick metal door, a small spigot for water, and had seemed impossibly cramped at first, none of them able to even lay down properly, but as time went on, they got more space. 

Some of the soldiers began dying, most of them succumbing to an incredibly hot fever that was a death sentence. The scientists talked about it, and whoever got a fever were taken, and never came back. 

The others were a mystery, just never coming back, but sometimes, they could hear a gunshot, just before another soldier was taken. Josef, one of Bucky’s men, had never gotten a fever, but in the hours before he had been taken the last time, he had gotten jumpy, twitchy, and he didn’t talk at all, despite his willingness to join conversations previously. 

The scientists talked around them, not caring what they said to them, barely acknowledging them, calling them by numbers, treating them like an object, a machine that needed to be fixed. Bucky’s number was 56898, and he responded to it like it was his name now, like everyone else, and everyone had quickly figured that out, and said each other’s names as often as possible. 

Bucky was the last one left though, and had no one to say his name. All the others had died, and he knew that his death was soon to come. 

He had felt hot in the cell, impossible unless he was running a fever, with the cold concrete, and the cool breezes from a desert night. He wondered if dying would hurt, or if he would just start hallucinating and never wake up. He looked up at the concrete ceiling, staring at the patterns he had long since memorized, waiting for something to happen. 

There was no one in the room, but the camera in the corner was running, the machines attached to him beeping and humming. He was getting hotter, stomach churning a bit, a headache beginning between his eyes. 

Then he realized that his spirit mark was getting colder. He had never heard of a spirit mark going cold, even though he had done a lot more research on it than the average person. His mark had never been like any other, every other one in all of his research was simple. At some point, between the ages of about nine months to four years at the latest, you would get your spirit mark. It was always an animal that represented your soulmate, that moved around your body, and was always warm. When your soulmate died, your mark would go back to skin temperature and stop moving forever, whether you had met them or not. 

Bucky had gotten his when he was nine months old, a bit younger than usual, but not exactly rare. The weird part was that his mark had never moved, and yet it was as warm as anybody else with a soulmate that was alive. A recognized spirit mark researcher had even talked to Bucky about his mark, but had eventually concluded that it was probably just a very rare genetic quirk. 

His mark was getting really cold now, like a chunk of ice was being pressed against his chest. It was probably just in his head, but it was almost nice, a relief from the scorching heat in the rest of his body. His head was aching, vision blurry, and the lights piercing his eyes. He closed his eyes. 

He couldn’t do anything now. 

A few days ago, he had managed to twist his remaining hand just right, and gotten his hand on one of the scientists phones that was on the edge of the table beside him, and very awkwardly tried to dial one of the phones at the base. He had tapped out the SOS signal in Morse code a few times, then hung up before he could get caught. It was very likely that he had dialed the wrong number, or they had thought it was a prank call or something, and had done nothing about it, but there was a chance, a tiny chance that someone would come to rescue him. 

Maybe if he slept, it would hurt less. 

He did know that if you had a concussion, you weren’t supposed to fall asleep, but was it the same with fevers that killed? It didn’t really matter though, because he was drifting off anyways, the lab getting darker, and his limbs getting heavier. The room rocked like a boat, and he heard a distant explosion, but he was too far gone to be able to do anything. 


	2. All polar bears are left-handed, or rather, left-pawed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a job

[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/ktmz.png)

  
-Six years later- 

Bucky liked his job, he never would have expected that being a janitor at a zoo would be a career option, but it worked out well. The crowds made him antsy sometimes, and sudden noises shook him, but he could just put headphones in, and because almost everyone ignored the janitors, he could ignore them, (except for the occasional guest asking for directions). 

The job was simple enough, so he had found a way of doing things that accommodated his missing left arm without too much effort, the pay was decent, and it was busiest (and he was needed most) on weekends, when he was off of school. The trash (and animal waste) smelled worse than he expected, every time, but that was probably because it was baking in the sun most of the time. 

He loved looking at the animals and exploring the zoo during his breaks, the animals didn’t tire him out as much as people, and they were often calm and quiet. They made sense in a way that people didn’t. 

Bucky was taking his break, watching the macaques play, but… something was wrong. One of the macaques near him was not acting like usual. Oz was acting… just odd. He couldn’t tell why, what made him think that something was wrong, but he knew that something was wrong. 

He had learned to trust his instincts on the battlefield, and they were very rarely wrong. He had even foiled a mugger or two because he had a bad feeling, and was prepared to defend himself when walking into an alleyway shortcut. But this was a very different kind of wrong. 

He went back to the break room, so he could grab his stuff again, and saw Jessica. 

“Hey Bucky,” she called out, “how are you doing?” 

She was his best friend among his coworkers, and worked at the admission area. She always treated him like everyone else, not cautiously, or like he was about to explode, like a lot of other people did. She had also been the first person that he told his idea of becoming a zookeeper to, and she had encouraged him, told him that it was a great idea. 

“I’m doing pretty good,” Bucky said. “I dropped by the macaques today on my break though, and Oz was acting weird. Maybe he’s sick.” 

“I’ll never get over how you can tell all the animals apart,” she said ruefully. “It’s like magic!” 

“No magic,” Bucky said. “It’s pretty easy once you know them, and it’s only really the monkeys, bears, and the snow leopards.” 

“Maybe you just spend more time with them than me,” she said. “Mr. future zookeeper.” 

“Animals are better than people,” Bucky sang mockingly. “Oz don’t you think that’s right…” 

“I regret suggesting Frozen to you as a movie to watch,” she groaned, putting her head in her arms. “I regret everything.” 

+-+

Bucky went to his and Sam’s apartment, a bit achy like usual, exhausted from a long day of cleaning, and grabbed a handful of crackers. 

Sam looked up from where he was standing over the stove, and said, “hey you’re home. Wait, don’t you dare spoil your supper, I made pasta today!” 

“Have you ever known me to spoil my supper with just crackers?” Bucky asked, stuffing more in his mouth. 

“Gross,” Sam said, grimacing. “I guess not, but still, I’m surprised you aren’t four hundred pounds with the amount of food that you eat!” 

“I exercise a lot,” Bucky said. Exercising was calming, a way for his thoughts to simmer down a bit while keeping healthy. “And I’m a growing boy.” 

Sam shook his head affectionately, but let it go, turning back to the textbook on the counter, still stirring the sauce. They were both in college, taking advantage of the free years of college that they got from serving, even though Bucky’s had run out a year ago. 

Sam was working on a Psychology degree, he wanted to help people like them readjust to the world, rescuing people just the same as when he was a pararescue, but much less dangerous to him. 

When Sam had lost his soulmate, Riley, it had made him rethink being in the army, and he had decided not to do another tour. He had still wanted to save people, but now he saved them from themselves, like they had been helped and encouraged by their families. Once they had arrived home, nearly inseparable, their families had quickly become close, sharing resources and tips, doing everything they could to support and help them. 

Bucky still felt guilty sometimes, Riley and Sam had been on the mission to rescue him when Riley had died, a victim to the base’s high defences. Sam had never really blamed him, but had admitted to being angry while Bucky had been sleeping off his fever from the injections. 

They had become very close though, a bond that had formed quickly in the field hospital while Sam waited for his own injuries to heal. They had both lost so much, so they had clung to each other in the absence of anything else familiar. 

Once the pasta was ready, they sat down to eat, Bucky grabbing his notes, so he could study while he ate. He flipped through the review quickly, easily finding the answers. 

He hadn’t expected secondary education to be as easy as it was, he had always been more interested in Physics and mechanics than anything biology related when he was in high school, and that hadn’t waned, his first year of college he had been a math major, he still liked to keep on top of the most recent discoveries, and he was consistently fascinated by Iron Man, who had been recently revealed to be Tony Stark. The idea of being a zookeeper was cool though, after having so much time with animals, and seeing firsthand just how fascinating they were. Memorizing was easier than it had ever been, and concepts seemed to click much faster than they ever had in high school, probably because he was truly interested in the topic. He had been a decent student in high school, but hadn’t exactly done his best. 

Sam liked to tease that Bucky was cheating somehow, but Sam was almost as fast at memorizing things as him. 

As he wandered through the zoo the next Friday, after his “weekend,” grabbing garbage bags, he looked at the macaque exhibit. Oz wasn’t there. He was probably just in the enclosed area, taking a nap. Bucky couldn’t help but worry though. 

On his break, he told his worries to Jessica, stupid worries probably, but he had learned to talk through things instead of bottling them up, a contrast to his times in the army, and mostly thanks to his therapist, Darlene. He knew from experience that if he bottled enough small things up, it would eventually turn into a panic attack, and he avoided those as much as possible, even though he now had better ways of dealing with them. 

“Aww,” Jessica said. “That’s too bad, I know that your favorite animals are the macaques.” 

“One of my favorite animals,” Bucky said firmly. 

“Whatever,” she said. “I know that you have a soft spot for the monkeys because your spirit mark is one. It’s not exactly uncommon for someone’s favorite animal to be the one on their mark.” 

“Hey guys,” Susan said, sitting down at their table. She was one of the zookeepers, and was always up for giving Bucky tips on his schooling, good mnemonics for remembering things, and advice on being a zookeeper in general. “What’s up?” 

“Bucky’s fretting,” Jessica said. “One of his beloved macaques wasn’t in sight today, and his mother bear instincts are going haywire. On Wednesday, when he was here last, he noticed that the same one was looking off. Is Oz sick?” 

“Yes actually,” Susan said, sounding surprised. “But we didn’t notice until just yesterday. You really do have some kind of magic, maybe you’re doctor Dolittle!” 

“It seemed obvious,” Bucky said, confused. “I couldn’t tell what was up, but he was definitely off.” 

“I’m calling it,” Jessica said, “he’s definitely magic. He knows all the animals by name by just seeing them, and now he can tell that animals are sick days before anyone else, including actual zookeepers with years of experience!” 

“Well I’d better get him through school quick then,” Susan said with a grin. “We could really use good instincts like that here. Tell me if you think that another animal is acting off again though, see if it was just a coincidence or not.” 

Bucky agreed, and they went back to eating their lunches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s the last chapter for the day! See you tomorrow!


	3. Arctic terns have migrations that can take them up to 90,000 kilometres from their starting point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter for today!

[Link to picture](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/ptju.png)

~The room was small and dim, the only furniture a bed on the other side of it. The covers were rumpled, pillows piled high, but when he walked over to it, there was a person in the bed. 

The room was dark, and his vision blurry, so he couldn’t see them very well, but he could tell that they had short dark hair, and pale skin. 

Something was wrong. 

He moved his hand to the person’s shoulder, trying to wake them up. They were scorching hot! He needed to get them some ice, take that fever down. 

The person shifted restlessly, groaning softly, obviously in pain. He looked around the room, and saw a chunk of ice on the floor next to the bed. 

He knelt down and put the chunk to the person’s chest. They needed to be cooler, he needed more ice. He grabbed some more from the floor, piling it around them. He needed to cool them down. 

Then they were covered in ice, and the only thing he could do was wait and hope that their temperature would go down. Time passed slowly, and he kept vigil, like Arnie had done for him. 

The fever slowly went down, the person settling into a calm, quiet sleep.~

+-+

-Two years later-

It was impossible. There was no way that he was in the future. 

He couldn’t help but think of the sci-fi books that Arnie had read occasionally, but… they had never had anyone black in any position of power. If he had heard right, then Fury was the leader of an entire intelligence organization, and that was something that hadn’t ever seemed possible. 

Then he saw an odd flash of grey on the back of the hand of one of the agents escorting him. He surreptitiously looked at it, and saw that it was an uncoloured spirit mark! A tiny grey goat laying down on her hand, like it was nothing. 

How did people not notice it, not see her boldness! Or maybe… he was in the future, there might be different standards now. He had seen quite a few dames in tiny skirts during his flight from the building, one more thing that convinced him that something was very wrong. 

He didn’t think it possible though. 

It was such an intimate thing, an uncoloured spirit mark, the kind of thing that you didn’t show to just anyone. 

It was the only thing that you had of your soulmate before you met, and there were even myths that if anyone else saw it while it was uncoloured, bad things would happen. Heck, sex in the dark was so popular at the queer clubs he had frequented before the war, _because_ you didn’t want to show your spirit mark to anyone that wasn’t going to stick around for the long haul. 

Your spirit mark only coloured when your soulmate touched you for the first time, and after it coloured, it wasn’t rare to see it uncovered by younger couples, but only while accompanied by their soulmate, even if older people thought it very improper. 

He had only seen two spirit marks before this, Peggy’s and Arnie’s. But now… were things really that different? 

Steve was led to what was to be his room in the complex so he could “process.” The room seemed impossibly large, much bigger than the apartment that he and Arnie had shared, and it even had a bathroom that included a shower and hot water! 

He sat on the bed, feeling like he was sinking into the thick mud of the trenches. Something was off though, there was an odd warmth moving from his chest to his right arm. 

He rolled up his sleeve, expecting a rash maybe, despite the fact that it didn’t hurt or itch. 

It was a spirit mark. 

A tiny, black and white tiger was walking down his arm towards his hand, warmth emanating from it. The mark would turn to color once he had touched his soulmate but… it was impossible that he had a tattoo now, he had never had one before… everything. 

He had never met anyone else that didn’t have a mark once they had turned four. Some people got them later than others, and it would usually appear once someone was about one to two years old, but Steve had never gotten one. 

Spirit marks were private enough that most people didn’t ask, so he had been able to hide it well enough, but his doctors had known. 

It was just one more way that he was deficient, not good enough. Just one more way that the doctors knew that he shouldn’t be allowed to have children. He had been very lucky that his mother was a nurse, keeping an eye out for doctors that would have sterilized him, and protecting him from that. 

But… if he had a spirit mark _now,_ then… whoever had changed him from his uniform would have seen it right? It had been unnerving waking up in clothes that he hadn’t put on, but it had happened sometimes when he was sick, so he hadn’t been too concerned. 

But now… they would know that he and Peggy had lied about being soulmates, that she had never been his. They would know for sure now but… what would they do? It wasn’t like there were laws against being in a relationship with someone that wasn’t your soulmate, there were soulmates that were a pair of guys or gals (platonic soulmates they were called) but… spirit marks were revealed during a wedding ceremony, and if one (or both of them) were grey, most officials would not marry them, because their soulmates could be one of the other gender, and who knew until they met them? 

And maybe if things had changed about revealing your mark, then maybe… But he had no idea if they had even seen it at all. It was possible that they hadn’t, that he was getting worked up for nothing, but how could he know? 

Unless they told him that they had seen it, he had no way to know. It was unnerving. But now he had what he had been so viscerally jealous of. 

Even though Arnie had been understanding and didn’t talk about it often, he had occasionally joked that his spirit mark was a tiny bug, so Steve just hadn’t seen it yet. It had still been awful to know just how broken he was, to know that he didn’t deserve a soulmate, despite all the good he tried to do. 

He had thought that the serum would have given him his spirit mark, it had healed everything else, but it hadn’t. 

Until now. 

Arnie had found his soulmate in the war, unlike him, had mentioned it in a letter that he had sent before his ship went down. He had mentioned that it had been a guy that was his soulmate, “obviously” a platonic bond, but Steve knew better. 

Arnie had always been a fan of guys, just like him, and the way he talked about his soulmate… he loved him. Arnie and his soulmate had been stationed on the same ship, and had gone down together. He had only just gotten the news before the mission that led to his death. 

Peggy hadn’t known that Steve was a fan of guys, but she had known that he didn’t have a spirit mark. Her soulmate had been alive, and definitely not him, but they had been together anyway. They had even implied that they were soulmates in some interviews, giving the media what it wanted. He had thought that he might marry her. He was attracted to her, which had been more than he was expecting, given that he prefered guys, but now… was she even alive? 

He watched the tiny tiger grooming itself on the back of his hand. 

He didn’t want it. 

If he hadn’t gotten his mark until now, then that meant that his soulmate had been born while he was in the ice. Steve had been fated to come to the future, long before he had ever gotten the serum. 

It was all wrong. 

The Howlies had been family, like the brothers that he had never had, Arnie had been like a twin, so alike, and they had worked so well together. Colonel Phillips had been like a grumpy grandpa, refusing to admit that he cared. Peggy had been incredible, the love of his life, despite the short amount of time they had together between missions. 

But this… this meant that he was meant to come here, meant to lose his family, meant to lose everything. Was he only alive to meet his soulmate? Had he only been revived by fate so they could meet? 

He would never replace his family, never try to find his soulmate. No one would ever be worth the loss of his family, no matter how perfect for him they would be. 

He hated his soulmate, he realized. 

If they were fated to be each other’s soulmates, the person that would make them better in every way, the person that would support and love them no matter what, then why hadn’t they been born in the same time? Maybe grown up together, or possibly met in the war? 

He knew that he could have tried harder to land the plane properly, the grief of Arnies death too much to handle, but if he had a soulmate, it would have been easier to stay. Then he wouldn’t have had to lose everything else to only gain a soulmate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Monkeys live in family groups called tribes, missions, troops, or cartloads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today!
> 
> And Bucky has a very interesting day...

  
[Link to picture](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/mp07.png)

Bucky had been called into the main office after his shift. 

He had graduated with his bachelors in animal technology a while ago, and had been looking for an internship at another zoo. He would need an internship to get a job as a zookeeper, and Central Park zoo didn’t have any internships available. 

He was worried, what if they had seen him looking for an internship at another zoo as a reason to fire him? He had notified them that his availability would possibly be changing soon, so maybe they had decided to just fire him so they didn’t have to deal with that. 

He had never really trusted the main coordinator of the zoo, Mr. Ward, always getting a bad feeling around him, making him constantly twitchy around him. It had been a lot easier to ignore when he had first been hired, only about two years after coming back, but the bad feeling had gotten stronger over time. 

He walked into the main office, prepared for the worst, but the man looked practically jolly. 

“Ahh,” he said. “Mr. Barnes, good to see you, sit down please.” 

Bucky sat down in the chair across from the desk, knee bouncing with anxious energy. 

“I’ve heard that you have been looking for an internship at another zoo,” he said. 

“Yes sir,” Bucky replied. “Unfortunately there weren’t any internship opportunities in this zoo, otherwise I would have tried my luck here.” 

“Of course,” he said. “What would you think about getting a zookeeper job here?” 

“What!” Bucky said, completely thrown by the offer that was the exact opposite of what he had expected. “A job here? But I haven’t done an internship yet!” 

“It would be conditional,” he said. “A sort of combination of a job and an internship. You wouldn’t be paid nearly as much as the other zookeepers, and would have a trial period, etc. You are an asset to this zoo, despite your disability. You have a very useful skill, figuring out problems that our other zookeepers only notice a few days later, not to mention your obvious love for this zoo, and knowledge of all its animals, as well as your incredible grades. I don’t want to lose you son, I need to keep you here before anyone else realizes your talents and snatches you up. We can easily hire another janitor, they’re practically a dime a dozen.” 

“Thank you sir,” Bucky said, shaken. “This is an incredible honour, I hope I can live up to your expectations.” 

“Of course son,” Mr. Ward said. “I will send you a package with the information soon. I’ll introduce you to some of your future coworkers, then you can go out and celebrate.” 

“Thank you again,” Bucky said, jittery with excitement. 

“Not a problem,” he said, getting out of his chair. “Now follow me.” 

They went to the staff room, where almost all of the zookeepers were standing, chatting amongst themselves. 

“Bucky!” Susan said, tackling him in a hug. “I told you that you would get a job soon!” 

“You knew!” Bucky said, chidingly, “you could have told me so I didn’t worry as much!” 

“It was a surprise,” she said, “I wasn’t allowed to tell you.” 

“Now to introduce you to everyone,” Mr. Ward said dryly. “Our two veterinarians, Amir and Matthew, are both currently gone, but you will meet both eventually. Then we have John, our large mammal keeper, Jane and Tao, our bird keepers, Katoka our penguin keeper, Arpad our sea lion keeper, Moshe our children’s zoo keeper, Chiyo our reptile keeper, and Susan, our small mammal keeper. What kind of animals would you prefer to work with?” 

“Monkeys if I can,” Bucky said. “But if I can’t be there, I would prefer to stay with mammals.” 

“We don’t need anyone for the small mammals,” Mr. Ward said. “So you will go with John, and work with the large animals.” 

“I may not be overworked,” Susan said. “But I could still use a hand, and John isn’t overworked either. Can’t Bucky help with the animals he loves most?” 

“No,” Mr. Ward said. “I don’t trust you to not distract him with gossip, or even in other ways.” 

Most of the guys, as well as Susan, snickered, finding it funny. Susan’s face tightened, the faintest of blushes appearing, almost invisible on her dark skin. 

Bucky was about to say that he was only attracted to guys, thank you very much, but he stopped. 

He had gotten a bad feeling from half of the zookeepers, and his instincts had saved him from a few homophobes when he tried to pick some guys up after he had gotten back, (before realizing that very few people wanted to get with an amputee). And besides, he didn’t have the job properly yet, so it was better to be safe, he doubted he would become friends with most of them anyway. 

It was weird that he got an uneasy feeling from at least half of the zookeepers, but maybe he was imagining things, from his nervousness, and the complete u turn that his feelings had taken today. 

“Nice to meet you John,” he said, completely ignoring the previous topic. “I hope that I learn a lot from you all.” 

On his way out, he texted Jessica about what had happened, that he now had an internship/job combo, and that he was now a zookeeper. 

She replied with a long string of emojis, and a “go get em 🐅, I’ll get you a coffee on the next shift we share so we can celebrate.” 

+-+

The moment he walked into his and Sam’s apartment, he began to dance, despite knowing that Sam was in the next room, and likely to witness his, “white guy dancing” as Sam called it. 

He had gotten a precursor to his dream job, that made use of his degree, and was at the zoo he loved, with the animals that he adored. His mental health was stable, and he had amazing friends and family to support him. Life was looking incredible! 

“What are you dancing for,” Sam said, hiding his eyes from where he peeked around the corner. “My eyes are burning!” 

“I got a job as a zookeeper at the Central Park zoo!” Bucky said gleefully. “Apparently I’m such a useful person to have around, the zoo wanted to keep me, so they offered me an internship and job combination!” 

“That’s great man,” Sam said. “Have you called your parents yet? I’m sure they’ll be excited!” 

“Not yet,” Bucky said, “I’ll call them right now!” 

His parents  _ were  _ excited, immediately calling for a celebration dinner that night, at their house, especially because Becca had come home from college recently, and they hadn’t had a chance to get together recently. 

“We’ll make it a party,” Bucky’s ma Winnifred said. “Call up Sam’s parents too, have everyone bring something. We didn’t have much of a chance to celebrate your graduation, so we can celebrate that too! We can do it tonight at our house.” 

“Sure,” Bucky said, chest warming. “We can bring some desserts, we always have way too many stored up.” 

“The advantage of having two stress bakers in the family,” Winnifred said. “We all get lots of treats! But it wasn’t anything too bad that inspired them?” 

“No,” Bucky said. “Just general stress about finding a good internship that I can actually get to within a reasonable amount of time for me, and school stress for Sam. A few nightmares and stuff like that, but much less than we could be getting, and not as bad as they used to be.” 

“That’s great!” Winnifred said, “even more reason to celebrate! I’ll be making some pasta for tonight. See you two soon!” 

“Bye ma,” Bucky said, “see you tonight!” 

+-+

The meal was rowdy, with so many people crowded in the dining room and living room, quips flying, and stories being told. Bucky got a lot of hugs, being congratulated on his achievements, everyone glad that he had been given that opportunity. 

He had been feeling off ever since he got to his parents house, his remaining arm feeling hot, like he had a rash, but not itchy or hurting. He made his way to the table again, grabbing a third, smaller helping, finally feeling nearly full. 

“How on earth do you eat that much,” Becca asked, “without you being four hundred pounds!” 

“I work out a lot,” Bucky said. “And besides, this is ma’s famous seafood pasta, I’m having as much as I can stuff in my stomach.” 

“Fair enough,” Becca said, as he grabbed the serving spoon, “but I still think-“ 

She stopped talking, staring at his arm with wide eyes. 

“Becca?” Bucky asked, concerned. “What’s wrong?” 

“Your spirit mark is on your hand,” she said, quietly. “Tell me that I’m not hallucinating.” 

Bucky looked at his hand. The monkey was there, seemingly exploring his hand, the heat on his arm finally making sense. It wasn’t an odd rash, it was his mark moving. And that was why he had been feeling off too, the heat on his chest that had been his constant companion, had moved. 

He couldn’t stop staring, heart beating faster. His soulmate was… alive? 

“Guys,” Becca said. “You all have to see this, Bucky’s mark is moving!” 

Conversation stopped, and everyone stopped eating. 

“No way,” Sam said, moving towards them. “You’re soulmate’s dead, it’s impossible-“ 

He stared at the monkey that was now on Bucky’s palm. “Guess you’re even better at beating the odds than I thought.” 

Everyone else began to come over, crowding around Bucky, his heart starting to beat like a drum, his breathing coming in faster- 

“Stop crowding him,” Sam said, shooing everyone away, as attuned to his panic like usual. “That is not helping!” 

Everyone backed away, crowding around Becca for her opinion, and keeping at a good distance. 

He loved his large family, but being crowded was never a good thing for him, felt too much like being restrained. 

“You alright man?” Sam asked, rubbing his back gently. 

“I’ll be fine,” Bucky said. “Was just too much at once. But… my mark is actually moving right? It isn’t just… a hallucination or a dream?” 

“Nope,” Sam said. “It’s warm right? Maybe your mark just stayed still for a long time for whatever reason, and your soulmate was alive the whole time.” 

“It  _ has  _ always been warm,” Bucky said. “But why start moving now? Why not move at all before?” 

“Maybe someone was dabbling in necromancy,” Becca said mischievously, walking back to them slowly. “Or maybe your soulmate is an alien or something from those stupid sci-fi books that you read, and only when it got close enough to earth, your mark began to move.” 

“You’ve been reading too many dark fantasy books,” Bucky said, heart rate slowly returning to normal. “And those books aren’t stupid! Besides, it doesn’t explain why the mark stayed as the same animal since I was a baby. I’ve never heard of a tattoo never changing once unless the soulmate is dead. Everyone’s mark changes, especially when their soulmate is young, when their personality is changing the most.” 

“I guess it’ll be a mystery until you meet your soulmate,” Sam said. “They might not know either though, it might be just a weird genetic quirk. It’s most likely that your soulmate is alive though, it’s just that, for whatever reason, your mark didn’t move. Looks like you have a soulmate to find. Lucky you.” 

“Sam,” Bucky said, turning to his best friend, seeing the sadness on his face, knowing that this was hitting him hard. “You’re my best friend, and always will be, soulmate, or no soulmate. I promise that I won’t leave you behind when I do find them.” 

“Thanks,” Sam said quietly, pulling Bucky into a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you Bucky.” 

“Or me,” Becca chimed in mischievously. “I’m the “sister you never had”” she said in a ridiculous parody of Sam’s voice. 

“Annoying little sister,” he said wryly, but accepted the hug she offered.


	5. Elephants will grieve when family members die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy is awesome, but old unfortunately. Steve has a very bad day

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/pruo.png)

Steve had been given files on his friends. Piles of paper that had lists of their accomplishments, their  _ lives _ , in dry reports, and sensationalized newspaper articles. 

Almost every one of them had a big red deceased stamp on it. 

Like blood. 

Deaths that happened while he slept, mostly of old age and sickness. It seemed impossible, imagining the Howlies growing old and weary. 

Did Dernier ever stop blowing things up? Was Dum Dum’s secret sweetheart the woman that he married? Did the ones that hadn’t found their soulmate find them? 

It didn’t feel real, that they had all lived long full lives without him. 

He couldn’t find a file on Arnie. Probably because Steve knew everything there was to know about him, nothing had happened to him after Steve had died, because Arnie had already been dead. 

He left Peggy’s file for last. He didn’t want to open it, didn’t want to be faced with what happened to her. Maybe if he ignored it… no. 

He’d have to learn eventually, may as well be now, when the only people who would see his reaction would be whoever was watching him-or… “keeping an eye on him,” like it was a chore, like he was one of those damsels in distress that was fainting all the time. 

He opened the file, expecting to see scarlet, but… it wasn’t there. 

She was alive. 

He flipped through the file. She had married, had children, and founded SHIELD. She was currently living in a retirement home in DC. 

He needed to see her, she had always had good advice, and… he really needed that right now. 

+-+

He asked his handler, the person who was assigned with introducing him to this century, how he could get to DC. She had sputtered, obviously surprised, but asked him why, and where he was planning on going. He had reluctantly admitted that he wanted to see Peggy, and she had said that she’d ask Fury about it. 

She had returned with a red haired lady who introduced herself as Natasha Romanoff, otherwise known as the Black Widow. 

“I’ll be taking you to DC,” she said. “You aren’t allowed to be revealed until we have a plan for that, so we will be going to Peggy Carter’s retirement home undercover. She is the only one that you are allowed to tell that you’re Captain America, and were just recently frozen in ice. Now let’s go.” 

They drove to DC, Natasha putting on some music, and Steve pretended to sleep. He was pretty sure that Natasha could tell that he was pretending to sleep, but she didn’t try to make him stop, so it was already going better than he expected. 

They stopped at the building, and Natasha pulled him out of the car. 

“Just follow my lead,” she said, leading him into the building. 

“Hello,” the lady at the front desk said. “Who are you here to see?” 

“Margaret Carter,” Natasha said. “We’re doing a paper on her, could use some quotes.” 

“You’re dedicated,” the lady said, tapping at the computer. “You should know though, she has major Alzheimer’s, she doesn’t remember things very well, and might even forget what question you just asked her. She does remember the war quite well, but if you’re looking to interview her on her more recent life, she won’t remember much. She’s having a good day today, but just be warned, and don’t tire her out too much.” 

“Of course,” Natasha said with a sweet smile. “We’ll be careful, go slow with our questions.” 

“Good,” she said. “She’s in room 217, just go in.” 

“Thanks,” Natasha said, and began dragging him down the hall. 

Memory loss? He knew that often old people had memory issues, but Peggy, old? Would she even recognize him? 

“Go in,” Natasha said, “I’ll stay out here, make sure that nobody unauthorized learns that you’re alive.” 

Steve blinked at the unexpected kindness, subtle, but purposeful. He opened the door, revealing a sunny room, a hospital bed near the window, a body on the bed. 

He stumbled in, Natasha closing the door behind him. 

“Who’s there?” Peggy said, her voice fainter, but no less firm. He staggered to the seat beside the bed. 

“Peggy,” he rasped out. 

“Steve?” She said quietly, staring at him. 

She was so obviously Peggy, but had clearly aged quite a bit. Her hair was white and brittle, her skin wrinkled, she even smelled different, a different perfume, and the impossible to describe scent that came with age. 

His stomach flipped. What felt like just a month ago she had been young, hair thick and glossy, a deep brown, her skin clear and smooth, energy in every movement, yet perfectly controlled and graceful. 

Less than a month ago she had been the woman that he loved, and now… now she had lived a life apart from him, had gotten married and had children. It was like she was someone else. 

She looked at him suspiciously and said, “I may not have the best memory, but I know that I’m having a good day today, I really shouldn’t be seeing things.” 

“You’re not seeing things,” Steve managed. 

“Tell me something that only Steve would know,” she said, showing some of her old spark. 

“I never had a spirit marking,” Steve said quietly. 

“You’re actually Steve,” she said, sounding surprised. “How… how are you here? Why do you still look so young?” 

“I got frozen,” he said. “Perfectly preserved, I never aged. SHIELD found the Valkyrie with me inside and defrosted me. Woke up in an entirely new century.” 

“Woke up,” she said. “So you just… fell asleep in the plane and woke up in a new century? I never thought I’d ever see you sleeping on the job.” 

“Didn’t exactly try to,” Steve said. “Was… was the only option.” 

Peggy looked at him sadly and asked, “how did they even tell you that you were in a new century? It… god, it must have been hard.” 

“They tried to make me believe that it had only been a few weeks,” Steve said. “Dressed the room up like a fancy hospital room. It was all wrong though, everything just slightly off, like a nightmare. Had a baseball game that I had been to playing on the radio. Asked myself why they would have an old game playing when there was a new one every week, everything else about the room was even more wrong. Busted out and saw that it was a fake room, a set. Ran onto the street, stopped in Times Square. Fury explained everything there.” 

“When I get my hands on Fury,” Peggy said, voice firm, steady and angry. “I will strangle him with the tie on my robe. He couldn’t think of any better way to do it? And to not even call me? If you did believe it, how long would he have let you believe that it was still 1945? Until he needed you for a mission? He better have a good reason for it.” 

Steve couldn’t help the strangled laugh that burst from him. He had missed Peggy, and even having her like this was so much better than not having her at all. 

“It was really the game that made the illusion come down?” She questioned affectionately, “really? You and your baseball.” 

“I could smell the new plaster,” Steve said. “And it was way too quiet to be any kind of hospital, even a civilian one. A bunch of other things as well.” 

“Well you’re here now,” Peggy said affectionately. “What else has happened so far?” 

“I…” Steve said, hesitating. “Igotmyspiritmarking.” 

“You got it?” Peggy said hesitantly, “like, you actually have one on you now?” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, rolling up his sleeve, baring the tiger pacing on his arm. “I woke up with it.” 

“So you do have a soulmate,” Peggy said. “And they weren’t born until after you went into the ice. It’s a beautiful tiger, a symbol of a protective, powerful, noble, and graceful soulmate. You do need someone to keep you from doing too many stupid things.” 

“That’s not…” Steve said. “I don’t want to meet them.” 

“What?” Peggy said, “why don’t you?” 

“I didn’t have a spirit marking until I woke up here,” Steve said bitterly. “That means I was fated to wake up in this century, fated to lose everyone except for you. All for a soulmate that could have just been born in my lifetime. If getting a soulmate means losing all of you, I would much prefer never having a soulmate. 

Not to mention, by the example of almost everyone I meet, they’ll be way more interested in Captain America’s exploits than anything that Steve Rogers can give them.” 

Peggy sighed. “Or maybe you were given this soulmate so that it wouldn’t be so bad waking up in this century. So you would have someone to support and love you, even after losing so much. 

And your soulmate is meant to see the real you, be the one person who will love and accept you for who you are, and make you want to be a better person, to encourage you and love you no matter what. And if you are meant to meet your soulmate, you will meet them, no matter how hard you try to avoid it.” 

“As smart as ever Pegs,” Steve said, taken by her description of a soulmate. She had obviously found the perfect one for her. 

“But Steve,” she said. “I’m not the only one of your friends to be alive.” 

“You aren’t?” Steve asked, “but SHIELD gave me files on everyone.” 

“Files?” Peggy said, shaking her head and sounding frustrated. “I knew that man had very little tact, but files?” 

She sighed heavily, but continued, “that man is going to get the scolding of his life once I see him again. Anyway, yes, I’m not the only one alive. Arnie’s alive as well.” 

“What!” Steve said, “but… he died!” 

“We thought so too,” Peggy said. “A while after you died, Arnie wrote you a letter saying that he had survived the sinking, him and his soulmate. I wrote him back, and we became friends of a sort. 

That’s actually part of the reason I came to America after the war, to meet up with Arnie, to… to grieve you in our own ways. We became great friends, and I still write to him occasionally. Here's his address.” 

She grabbed a small empty notebook from her side table, and wrote something down. 

“You… you actually know him?” Steve asked, grabbing the notebook, “he’s actually alive?” 

“He is,” Peggy said. “But… I should tell you that we both shared things about you that were personal, we thought that there would be no harm in it because you were dead, but… here you are. 

Arnie told me that you liked guys as well as girls. I couldn’t have cared less when I found out because I like both as well.” 

“You do?” Steve said, “I mean… I kind of had my suspicions, but there weren’t exactly many women on the front, and maybe you looked at all women like that and it didn’t mean that you were attracted to women-“ 

“I didn’t think that anyone would notice,” Peggy said, interrupting his rambling, like usual. “I didn’t exactly try very hard to hide it, but mostly because most men seemed to think that women didn’t have a sex drive at all.” 

“I have very clear memories that tell me that it definitely isn’t true,” Steve said wryly. 

“I did have my suspicions about you,” Peggy said. “I think mostly because I knew that liking both was an option, but you, to your credit, very subtly, checked out quite a few guys. Arnie told me that you had a very specific type too…” 

“Peggy…” Steve said, “please no…” 

“According to him,” Peggy said smugly. “You very much like bossy brunettes. There were quite a few of them in the army…” 

Steve buried his face in his hands, feeling hot all over, knowing that he was probably very red. 

“Why? Why me? I should have known that the two of you would conspire together. I am so glad that I don’t have to see both of you at once, I would probably turn red permanently.” 

“Hmmm,” Peggy said. “That actually gives me an idea…” 

“Peggy I swear-“ 

Steve was interrupted by a knock on the door, reminding him that Natasha was right outside. 

She came in and said, “the nurse is coming down the hall, so he’ll robably come in soon.” 

“I’m not publicly alive yet,” Steve said, seeing Peggy’s confusion. “We had them think that we’re here to interview you for a paper for school.” 

“And who is this?” Peggy asked. 

“Natasha Romanoff,” she said. “I’ve heard so many great things about you.” 

Peggy was about to respond, when a nurse came in. 

“Why don’t you two take a break,” he said kindly, a British accent clear in his voice. “Get a snack from the vending machine maybe.” 

“Sure,” Natasha said, steering him through the door. 

Steve grabbed a couple things from the vending machine, his metabolism burned through food like a wildfire, and he really didn’t want to faint. 

Steve went back in the room, but something was wrong. 

Peggy looked at him and said, “Steve! Where were you? Monty here was just talking about some new information we got on Hydra!” 

The nurse smiled sadly. Steve froze. He remembered that exact moment. She had even said almost exactly the same thing to him. He had been writing a letter to Arnie, and Monty had recently been sent on a solo mission. It had happened only four months ago by his count, and the memory was crystal clear. 

His stomach lurched, bile rising, and he ran out of the room. He ran to the men’s bathroom, and only barely got to the toilet in time to throw up. 

When he was done, he collapsed to the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks, sobbing unendingly. 

He had almost forgotten. 

He had almost forgotten that he had gotten frozen in time, that she had lived a life without him, that she was old, and her body and mind were deteriorating. 

It had felt normal, teasing each other like usual, taking a little time to just talk, when both of their jobs had them so busy, almost expecting someone to come in and interrupt, teasing them about being such a cute couple… 

Then the illusion was shattered, and it was like losing them all over again, remembering that they were long dead and gone… 

He heaved again, but nothing came up. 

Everything was going numb. The sadness and pain draining away, taking any shard of happiness that remained after finding that Arnie was alive away. 

Arnie might forget him too, having so many other things more important than Steve after seventy years. 

There was the faintest flicker of grief, but the blankness dampened that as well. His limbs were heavy, weighing him down. 

He needed to get back to the car though, Natasha may have seen him sprint away, but she wouldn’t have to know how bad it was. He knew that she was keeping an eye on him for Fury, and the last thing he wanted was more sessions with a shrink. He wasn’t crazy, he didn’t need it. 

He washed his hands and face, noting distantly that his face felt dry and tight. He walked out of the bathroom, and out of the building, the people passing by him, blurred and unreal. He got into the backseat of the empty car. 

If he tried to talk to Natasha he was pretty sure that he would burst into tears again, despite the blankness dulling his thoughts and slowing his movements. 

The only thing that wasn’t affected by the cool blankness was his spirit marking, a warm glow like sunlight just above his heart. It wasn’t strong enough to banish the cold though. 

He slipped back into his thoughts, lulled into a daze by the steady movement of the vehicle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed today’s chapters!


	6. No two tigers have the same stripe pattern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen in New York

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/pza1.png)

Nothing changed much for Bucky during the next three weeks despite his spirit mark moving. 

Jessica and Susan had been excited, having thought that his soulmate had died, but agreed to keep it between them. Bucky didn’t need to be the focus of a lot of gossip while he was acclimating to the new position, and all the responsibilities that came with it. 

He stress-baked a lot, feeling off balance, and his emotions were wonky, but it wasn’t too bad, and Becca kept texting him faked pictures of aliens constantly, saying, is this your soulmate? It was funny, helped keep the stress away, and kept him from worrying too much about what would happen next. 

Then New York got invaded by aliens. He had been in the zoo, and luckily enough, the aliens had landed in the middle of the city, and the Avengers had managed to keep the destruction surprisingly contained. None of the enclosures had been damaged, and all of the guests had been safe. 

All the animals were stressed though, the loud noises and strange actions of their keepers making most of them more aggressive than normal. 

Bucky didn’t know what to do. There was nothing that they really  _ could _ do except wait for things to get back to normal, and keep the animals as calm as possible. 

Bucky was stressed too, the loud crashes and shouting, the smells of destruction and explosions, all of that reminded him of the battlefield. It made it hard to go back to the zoo once the battle had finished, and he had gone to his parents house. 

He had the illogical thought that New York was supposed to be safe, it was supposed to be free from war and fighting. 

When the interviews about what had happened were released though… Bucky was fascinated. 

He had always been a fan of sci-fi, books, movies, whatever. He loved aliens and impossible technology, and the idea of exploring the universe was fascinating. 

This… this was all those stories brought to life. 

Thor and Loki were the princes of a highly advanced alien race that were so advanced that when they had explored earth, they had been seen as gods. 

Iron Man was… Iron Man. An incredibly advanced flying suit of armour built and flown by a genius billionaire. 

Hawkeye and the Black Widow were fascinating, two normal human beings that were so highly skilled and well trained that they were on the same level as superpowered aliens. 

Bucky couldn’t help but admire Hawkeye especially, sniper to sniper. He had seen video compilations on YouTube that were entirely made up of Hawkeye’s incredible, seemingly impossible shots, and had watched all of them. He was fascinated by the bomb arrows, and had to admit that arrows definitely seemed more versatile than bullets in terms of things they could do. He wondered what other kinds of arrows he had… 

The Hulk was interesting as well, everyone had seen the video where the ordinary looking civilian had talked to Captain America, then just started growing, getting greener, until he was the Hulk. The Hulk had randomly appeared about a year ago, occasionally just appearing in random places around the globe, often with the US army not far behind, usually not causing a whole lot of destruction, unless the army caught up with him and they fought. There had always been theories about him, but now with the new information that had been revealed, theories were flying. 

Captain America was different, Bucky hated Captain America. 

“Why do you hate him?” Becca asked after Bucky had told her. “I’m pretty sure that you had a minor crush on him in high school, like almost everyone, why do you hate him now?” 

“You know how my instincts are better now?” He asked Becca, “how I can read situations and people better than I could before?” 

“Yeah,” she said, sounding interested. 

“Well watching him feels wrong,” Bucky replied. “Something about him is just… wrong. It’s like he’s a fake. 

For New York, people needed a hero, a leader. None of the others quite cut it for one reason or another, so maybe SHIELD decided that people needed Captain America, not caring that he was long dead. They found someone that looked like him, gave him a shield and hired him.” 

“But Captain America is obviously a super soldier,” Becca said. “He was seen after the battle picking up massive debris, way heavier than any normal human could. And Captain America and the Red Skull are the only known recipients of the super soldier serum.” 

“For all we know, someone decided to try to make the super soldier serum, and it worked,” Bucky said. “Then they gave it to someone who just so happened to look like Captain America.” 

“But if it worked,” Becca said. “Then why aren’t there more super soldiers? We all know that people have been trying to remake the super soldier serum ever since the maker of it died. Bucky, why are you being so irrational about this? This isn’t you.” 

“It’s hard to explain,” Bucky sighed. “I know it sounds stupid, but something’s off about him. He isn’t… quite right. You know that my instincts have yet to be wrong since I got back, how I can tell when animals are sick at least a day before anyone else. Just… you don’t have to do anything about it, it’s just frustrating me because I don’t know what I’m seeing that’s wrong, or why only I can see it.” 

“You aren’t going crazy,” Becca said. “I do trust you, and you for the most part seem as reasonable as ever, I trust your instincts. It’s just hard to wrap my head around it, we’ve had Captain America around for so long in advertisements and stuff, having the potential real deal around is just so insane sounding. But maybe he’s just sick, like your skills in animal diagnosis are telling you.” 

“Becca,” Bucky groaned, heart buoyed by her trust in him. “Why are you like this? I am not Doctor Dolittle, I can’t talk to animals.” 

“We don’t have any proof that you can’t,” Becca said teasingly. “All the animals at the zoo’s reactions prove you wrong.” 

“You can’t take my word for it?” Bucky asked, making his voice as pathetic sounding as possible. 

“You lied to me when I was younger,” Becca said, fake indignant. “You told me that there was a monster in the toilet that only came out at night, you butt! I had accidents until I was in first grade thanks to you!” 

“That’s the job of an older brother,” Bucky said affectionately. “To play jokes on their younger siblings.” 

“Rude,” Becca said, and hung up.

+-+

When the interviews had been done, and the damage begun to be fixed, Becca started to text him more pictures of aliens, asking if they were his soulmate, at least one every day, speeding up instead of slowing down like she had been before the battle. She had new ammo now, pictures of the actual aliens that had invaded New York. 

She even included pictures of Thor and Loki, saying “they’re human like, they probably have spirit marks.” 

Sam joined in too, asking if the Hulk was his soulmate, because “I saw a normal looking person turn into him, maybe your spirit marking only moves when the Hulk is in control.” 

And even Jessica joined in, asking if Captain America was his soulmate. 

“His soulmate was Peggy Carter!” Bucky responded, “you obviously didn’t pay enough attention in history class!” 

“I’ll bet you anything that you only paid attention because you were attracted to him,” she texted him. He didn’t reply, but she continued typing. “Don’t be embarrassed about it! That’s how I figured out that I was gay, everyone who liked guys was attracted to him, and I wasn’t.” 


	7. Gorillas can lift up to ten times their body weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is sad and the STRIKE team are jerks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor warnings for gore, and the STRIKE team being jerks

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/4yal.png)

There was a knock on Steve’s apartment door a week after the battle. 

“Come in,” Steve said from his place at the table. 

Fury came into the room, looking almost smug. “Captain Rogers,” he said. “Would you like to work for SHIELD?” 

“Sure,” Steve said. “What kind of things would I do though?” 

“Missions mostly,” Fury said. “You should meet STRIKE team alpha, who you would probably work the most with. They are currently in DC, where our home base is, and where most of our agents live.” 

“May as well,” Steve said. “I could live there too, if it would be more efficient.” 

“You don’t want to stay here?” Fury asked, slightly kinder than usual. 

“No sir,” Steve said, “haven’t exactly been in this apartment for long, so I’m not attached to it.” 

Fury looked at him like he knew that it wasn’t the only reason, but nodded. “You may as well start packing,” he said, walking out of the apartment. 

Steve grabbed the boxes that he had used to get everything in the apartment and started grabbing things. He was grateful to be able to get out of this sterile apartment, and New York in general. 

Walking around New York was unsettling, he had memories of things, some of them even the same in this century, but everything was just slightly off. Even the so-called “vintage” stores were off, the wrong colors, a typeface a little too different, everything slightly off like a nightmare, where something was wrong, but you could never tell what it was. 

+-+

“Here we are,” Fury said, walking up to a door in the Triskelion. “This is the gym that STRIKE team alpha usually trains in, you should be able to meet everyone here.” 

He opened the door, revealing a gym like space, with many people in it. There were a few punching bags and a boxing ring, a rack of weights nearby, but there were many machines that Steve didn’t recognize. 

“STRIKE team alpha,” Fury announced. “This is Captain Rogers, he will soon be assigned to STRIKE team alpha.” 

“Nice to meet you Cap,” someone with brown hair and a rough looking face said, walking up to him. “I’m Brock Rumlow, but everyone calls me Rumlow.” 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Fury said. “I have things to do,” then walked out. 

“You finally deigned to join us common folk huh,” Rumlow continued. 

“Nice to meet you,” Steve said, taken off balance by the critical words. “I hope that we work together well.” 

“We’ll see about that,” Rumlow said. “Have you learned anything about modern fighting techniques, or has Fury been keeping you up in your tower this whole time?” 

Steve knew those words shouldn’t hurt that much, Rumlow was only making sure that his team would be safe, that Steve wouldn’t cause problems, and throwing a little friendly teasing in there, but… it still hurt. Like he was saying that Steve wasn’t good enough, that all his experience was useless. 

“The Black Widow has been training me,” he said. “Teaching me some new techniques and fighting styles.” 

“So you’re at least half decent,” Rumlow said. 

“Or maybe Fury just didn’t want his one of his pet superheroes to be too awful,” another person said. 

“True enough,” Rumlow said. “How about I spar with you here, see if you’re up to snuff.” 

“Sure,” Steve said, moving to the mats. 

Rumlow was a fantastic fighter, unexpectedly fast and agile for his size and weight, with lots of unexpected moves. 

He was very glad that Natasha had been teaching him, because the moves she had taught him mostly relied on his flexibility and agility, not his strength. He was strong enough that if he applied even a little bit too much pressure at the right place, he could potentially break Rumlow’s spine. 

He didn’t have enough practice at sparring in this body, having been too afraid to spar with the Howlies, or anyone else. The first time that he had tried to lift one of the showgirls, he had way overestimated the strength needed to lift her up, and broken her femur, the strongest bone in the body. She had forgiven him, but they hadn’t had the time to spare to let them heal if he hurt any of the Howlies, and as the war had gone on, he had only gotten more wary of his strength. 

He would get angry at the things that he saw Hydra agents do, punch with his full strength, and see just what his strength would do to an ordinary human body. The Howlies had tried to teach him to fight properly, not just fly in with his fists swinging, but he refused to practice on them. He was very lucky that he learned fast and had a perfect memory. He hadn’t been as worried about his strength during the war, when any enemy left alive could sneak up on them later, but when sparring, his strength was a disadvantage. 

Rumlow couldn’t pin him, but Steve had to be careful with his strength, so he couldn’t get Rumlow pinned either. Eventually Rumlow called time. 

“I almost expected you to pin me in the first few seconds,” he said, smirking. 

Steve felt it like a punch in the gut, he wasn’t nearly as good as they expected, he couldn’t live up to their expectations of Captain America. You could defeat him, he reminded himself. You just aren’t, because it would hurt him badly, maybe permanently. He’s an ally. 

“I’m Jack Rollins,” someone else said, walking up to them. “I’m more concerned if you can work with us technology wise. We work with a lot of technology in our missions, and there’s often a lot in the places we infiltrate. You need to be able to understand, follow orders on that kind of thing. You can’t be an old man about it and refuse to use it.” 

Steve felt the urge to yell, I was on the cutting edge of technology during the war, not to mention that technically I’m twenty six! He didn’t though. 

“I’ve been taught quite a few things,” Steve said, it’s not like it’s hard, he thought. “I’m trying to learn everything, but I am highly adaptable. Even if I don’t know things now, I can probably figure it out pretty quickly.” 

“If you’re sure,” Rollins said sceptically. “But if you can’t keep up with the rest of us, and slow us down, you should be taken off the team.” 

“I agree,” Steve said. “If I endanger you guys, I don’t want to be on the team.” 

Rumlow’s eyebrows raised, but said, “agreed.” 

+-+

Steve’s first mission with the STRIKE team was a milk run, a test to see if they would work well together. It was a simple infiltration mission, apparently lower stakes than their normal missions, but it had been surprisingly exhausting, not physically, but mentally. 

The instructions had been unclear, he had no idea what it was a test for, and he kept getting reminders of the Howlies at every turn. 

The long trip back wasn’t fun either, the adrenaline still coursing through him, making him equally likely to burst into tears, or tear the jet apart. 

He couldn’t break down in front of the STRIKE team, they wouldn’t let him fight, and what would he do then? It had been made very clear that they needed him to fight, and he wanted to, it was the one thing that he was good at in this century, the one thing that people admired him for. He would be useless if he couldn’t fight. 

When they made it back to DC, he barely managed to get through the briefing, and the moment he got in the door to the apartment, he shed the clothes that he had changed into from his uniform, and put on some workout clothes. He got out the door again, and made his way to the gym that he had found within a few hours of moving in. 

He knew he was being watched by SHIELD, them making sure that he was safe, but he wanted to be as alone as he could be. He didn’t want them seeing how strong he was, how dangerous he was. 

The STRIKE team had been surprised enough that he had killed a lot of the soldiers in the base, how would SHIELD react to just how much destruction he could wreak? He had seen what had happened to Bruce, the fear that followed him everywhere, despite the destruction that was protective in nature, protecting others, and protecting the relatively fragile Bruce. He had seen the videos, seen how the Hulk only came out when Bruce was threatened, was only there to protect Bruce. How would people react when they saw the destruction that he could wreak? The destruction that came by accident, or when he was angry, the long painful deaths that he had caused with his strength. They only saw Captain America, who always did the right thing, who never seemed to kill. How would they react when that illusion was broken? 

It was so much safer to take it out on the punching bags that Tony had given him, with an offhand comment on wanting to expand into non-metal materials. 

He gave the owner of the gym quite a bit of money to cover the cleanup, and to let him use it when nobody else was there. 

He didn’t wrap his hands. The pain was grounding, the fabric even rougher than most bags, biting into his knuckles, keeping him from getting too far into his own sadness, keeping him from slipping away too much. 

It wasn’t like after he lost his mom, he didn’t have the luxury of being able to slip away occasionally, able to stay in bed all day sometimes. Captain America was an important person, he needed to be visible, to give people hope. They couldn’t know that he was broken, he wouldn’t be allowed to fight, and fighting was the only thing he was good for in this century, the only thing he got recognized for. He needed to be prepared for a mission at any time, he had people’s lives in his hands. 

He punched for a long time, all his focus on the bag, caught in the rhythm, of punching and pain. 

He ran out of momentum eventually, and he swayed on the spot. 

His head was spinning, the somehow still intact bag liberally spotted with blood. 

He sat down hard on the ground, thoughts stopped, staring idly at the wreck that he had made of his knuckles. They were torn masses of tissue, barely recognizable as knuckles, with glimpses of white along the middle. 

Bones, he realized. He was looking at the bones in his fingers. 

He would heal though, fast enough that he would be ready to fight, even if he had a mission in half an hour. 

He watched the edges start to heal, scar tissue forming in front of his eyes, albeit slowly. He had watched it happen before, seen his own bones and organs after a frag grenade had hit him in the gut, and the Howlies had to take the pieces out before he healed around them. Had watched them dig around in his belly, while the adrenaline was pumping, his brain was oddly blank, and the pain was far away. 

There was an odd warmth making its way down his right arm, and he watched his spirit marking make its way to his hand, watching the drip of his blood as it pumped out of his body. 

The tiger settled on his index finger and began to lick at the edge of his wounds, cleaning them, caring for them. 

His eyes prickled, throat tight. 

All he could do was watch, see it lick and lick, trying so hard to help him, trying so hard to seal the wounds up. It was so careful, gentle and affectionate. 

He could almost hear purring in the heavy silence, a soft rumble of sound. 

The tiger didn’t stop licking as he watched his tears mixing with the blood, diluting it and washing it away, the sun slowly making its way across the floor. All he could do was watch it, see it follow the scar tissue as it made its way across the wound, licking at the wound, not ignoring the scar tissue either, even as his skin healed. 

It slowed eventually, once the wound on his index had healed fully, the last one to do so, laying down on his finger and falling asleep, content with the work it had done. 

His face was dry and tight from tears, nose dripping, and head aching. He felt oddly warm though, in a way that had nothing to do with the warm spirit marking sleeping on his finger.


	8. Snow leopard cubs leave their mother at 19-24 months old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky starts to get suspicious

  
[Link to picture](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/wdii.png)

Being a zookeeper was incredible, getting the chance to directly help and interact with the animals, instead of just watching. 

For some reason, over the next year his skills in animal diagnosis stayed, and it wasn’t just chance either, making it easy to tell what animals were probably sick, and he was right every time, no matter how disbelieving John was. 

The one time that he was even slightly wrong was when one of the snow leopards had a stick piercing it’s paw, not sick. 

It wasn’t exactly the most useful skill, and it only became useful in very limited circumstances, partially because the animals got sick very rarely, and it was much easier if he knew the animals well, so he was most accurate with the monkeys, bears and the snow leopards. 

With his skills, he quickly got introduced to the two veterinarians for the zoo, Amir and Matthew. 

Amir was very dedicated to his job, and loved the animals, especially the birds. He was heavily involved in the conservation efforts for the rarer birds, and loved them like his children. 

Matthew was more involved with the mammals, especially the snow leopards, and was very picky about things, they had to be just so. Bucky also got a bad feeling around him, like he did around some of the zookeepers and Mr. Ward. 

There had to be some reason for it, because his instincts about the animals' health were always on point, but he couldn’t think of any reason besides them being homophobic. 

As time went on though, he realized that the animals were always uneasy around Matthew. They were more likely to run away from Matthew than Amir, and always felt a little more off when Matthew was around. He had considered that maybe he was hurting the animals, because he didn’t want anyone around when he was doing his check ups on the animals, but they all seemed to come out of his office fine. 

He started to figure it out a few months later, when they got a rescue animal, a Japanese Macaque that had been a pet and was now much too used to humans to be put back in the wild, but he had just become an adult and wasn’t “cute” anymore. He was separated from the others and the public, because he acted ridiculous, constantly throwing things like rocks, and just generally terrorizing the other monkeys. 

Bucky had tried to train him, even a little bit so they could actually have it join the troop, but the next day was his weekend. He had a stressful weekend, worrying about the new macaque, but he managed to relax with the help of Sam. 

When he came back on Friday however, the new macaque was as calm as the rest of them, and slept a lot. 

“What happened?” He asked Susan, very confused. 

“I don’t know,” she said. “He was energetic one day, and like the others the next. Maybe he just got too tired of the way we locked him away from the others, and decided to just stop? Many animals are a lot smarter than we assume them to be. Or maybe it was a weird sickness or something, he went to the vet, and he has special food now, so maybe he has everything he needs now or something.” 

“Maybe,” Bucky said to her. He had his suspicions though, the macaque seemed off, almost like he was sick, but… different somehow. 

He asked Matthew if he had noticed the difference, and he said. “Yeah, he had a weird hormone imbalance, and I gave him something in his food to counter that. It’s kind of expensive though, so make sure that it’s either me or John who does it, and make sure that you don’t mix his food up with the others.” 

“Ok,” Bucky said, even more suspicious than before. “I’ll make sure of that.” 

The fact that only Matthew or John were ones that were allowed to handle it were weird, and the fact that they were both people that gave him a bad feeling? It was possible that it was a coincidence, but Matthew had been lying about him having a hormone imbalance. He had no clue why he would lie about that, but his instincts had served him very well, so he began to gather information. 

He began to pay very close attention to what the people who tripped up his instincts said, and who they said it to, but he found a bigger piece of evidence a week later. 

That day, he realized that both Matthew and John were not working that day, so now would be the perfect time to try something. He “accidentally” tripped and dropped several of the macaques' food, and gave that macaque the normal macaque food. He notified Matthew about it with a written note on his office door, but he didn’t have his number, so he “decided” that one day of normal macaque food wouldn’t hurt him. 

As the day wore on however, he noticed that the macaque was even more tired than with the food, and he seemed even more wrong. He was confused until he got close to him near the end of the day, and he smelled very metallic. 

He recognized that smell. It was the smell of detoxing, of recovering from addiction. He had smelt it so many times in the VA, seen so many people recovering from it, that the smell was stuck in his mind forever. 

He had even experimented with drugs a little bit after he got home, wanting to be happy like he had been before he went to war, but they had never given him the effects that he had been promised, and he had given up quickly. 

He had been lucky, having seen what drug abuse could do to a person in the VA, not usually people in his therapy group, but he saw it nonetheless. 

They were definitely drugging this macaque, but he couldn’t do anything, especially if the zoo manager was in on this like he suspected. He needed more solid evidence, and something that would get them more than just a slap on the wrist. 

The last straw, the proof that there was something more sinister going on, was when the twin girl snow leopard cubs were born, almost a year after Bucky had started working as a zookeeper. 

Their mother had died when they were born and Bucky was chosen to be the one to take care of them. He had fed them at odd hours, been around them all the time, making sure that they had all the love and care that they deserved. 

As they grew over the next few months, Bucky began to train them in basic zoo animal training, they needed to learn to be around other humans, and to follow at least basic commands so that vet visits and such would go better, especially when they got too big and strong to be restrained by mere zookeepers. 

Bucky had named them Misty and Foggy while they waited for the official names to come in from the poll, and Bucky loved them like crazy. They were so smart and spunky, curious and sweet as anything. They would pull him into games, climbing all over him, and nibbling on his fingers. He got a few bites, but they weren’t that bad, and healed quickly, but he tried to train them not to anyway. 

He learned to tell them apart easily, even just by someone else telling him about their antics. Foggy was the lazy one, but had quite a few tricks up her sleeve, and was good at sneaking up on people. Misty was more energetic, but she loved routine, and got frustrated easily. 

Bucky loved them so much, talked about them so often, and lost so much sleep on them, that Becca began to tease him about them being his children, and not his charges. He couldn’t exactly refute her either, with how much he loved to tumble around with them. 

One Monday, he came to the zoo early, ready to have another day with the cubs, but ran into Susan on the way. 

“It’s horrible isn’t it,” she said. “You’d think that they’d at least have the decency to give you some more time with them, even if they were needed elsewhere.” 

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asked. 

“You don’t know!” Susan said, eyes widening as she began to pull him towards the snow leopard exhibit. “The twins are to be taken to other zoos today! Apparently they’re being loaded up right now!” 

Bucky’s gut lurched and he began to run, determined to at least see the twins before they got loaded up. 

He was so frantic that he didn’t even notice the exertion, Susan trailing behind, panting. He skidded into the back area, nearly slamming into a wall with his momentum. 

“Where are they?” He asked Matthew, who startled back from his unexpected entrance. 

“They’re already packed up for transport,” he said disparagingly, as Susan staggered in, catching her breath. 

“And this is exactly why we didn’t tell you that we were sending them off, because it will only upset them and you, and you will only distract the ones that are trying to do their jobs and take them away.” 

“I can’t even see them?” Bucky asked, heart falling off a cliff. “Can you at least tell me where they’re going?” 

Matthew rolled his eyes, gesturing to a bunch of movers, all giving Bucky a little instinctive bad feeling, who began to move towards the large crate. 

“It’s none of my business, it was approved by Mr. Ward, so that means that it would be good for them.” 

Bucky watched as the movers began to lift the crate roughly, probably jostling the twins inside. 

“Be careful,” he said, the bad feeling only getting stronger. 

“We’ve done this dozens of times,” the leader, brown haired, with a rough looking face, said as they walked past. “We’ll take care of your precious babies,” he said mockingly. 

All Bucky could do was watch, knowing that he couldn’t do anything. Who knew what they would do to them? He highly doubted that they were going to another zoo, or anywhere they would be treated well. With all that he had found out, they weren’t going to be stopping what they were doing anytime soon. 

He couldn’t do anything for the twins now, but he could gather information, and help the other animals as best he could. 


	9. Elephants have great memories, and will remember places they’ve been many years ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve goes somewhere very familiar

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/ys5a.png)

As Steve walked into the Triskelion to do some training, Natasha came up beside him. 

“Fury’s pulling you into a meeting,” she said. “It’s in his office.” 

“What is it about?” Steve asked her as she walked him to the room like he’d never been there before. 

She raised an eyebrow at him in a way that suggested that she thought that he was stupid, “it’s confidential.” 

He barely resisted rolling his eyes, but followed her into the room. 

In the room was Clint, Fury, Sharon, and Tony, all sitting around the table. 

“You’re here,” Fury said as Steve closed the door behind him. “Good. This is highly confidential, so do not mention this meeting to anyone. 

I’ve been noticing recently that Jasper Sitwell has been requisitioning STRIKE team alpha much more than he should be, without asking for Captain Rogers, and for very vague reasons. 

I recently managed to get a tracker on one of them, and the places that they were going, while supposedly on mission, are very unexpected. I suspect that something is going on under my nose, and I don’t like it. 

I’m calling you guys in, because I want you to check out the places they went, and look for suspicious activity, maybe for the agents themselves.” 

“What am I here for,” Tony drawled out. “I’m not exactly the most subtle person out there, as I’m sure that you remember, and I’d be recognized anywhere.” 

“You will be looking for digital signs of their presence,” Fury said. “And Captain Rogers will be staying in New York for his mission, and I heard that you offered him a place to stay.” 

“Where will I be investigating sir?” Steve asked, heart sinking. He had moved to DC for a reason, so that the memories that clung to the streets of New York could be avoided. 

“Romanoff will be investigating a civilian lab near DC, Barton will be investigating a suspicious spot on the outskirts of DC, Carter, you will be investigating another suspicious spot, this one near Philadelphia, and Rogers, you will be investigating the Central Park Zoo.” 

“Can I be assigned elsewhere?” Steve asked, trying to look as calm as possible, despite his rising heart rate. 

“That is the most public venue,” Fury said sternly. “And you will be the least noticeable there. In the other places, they are secretive, and will need high levels of stealth which you do not excel at. You used to live in New York, so it will not be suspicious for you to visit it, even if you’re there very often. 

Besides, the Avengers could use some more positive press, and you and Stark are seen as the leaders of the team, so it would be advantageous to make it look like you two don’t hate each other. The Central Park Zoo is the only place in New York.” 

It felt like he was being scolded for not following orders like a good soldier, and he began to blush, shame hot in his belly. 

“Keep an eye out for suspicious activity,” Fury continued. “And the members of STRIKE team alpha. Rogers, Stark, you two will have to learn to work together. Dismissed.” 

“I’ll go pack up my stuff,” Steve said to Tony as they walked out of the room. 

“I’ll wait for you on the jet I guess,” Tony said. “I never thought that the perfect little soldier would argue with orders though, especially one as silly as that!” 

Steve walked to his motorcycle in the SHIELD garage to grab the saddlebags, as far away from Tony as he could get. 

The thing was, he had loved the zoo when he was a kid, and when his ma got the money for the train, they could go, taking advantage of the free admission. 

She had loved the zoo, her spirit marking was a hippopotamus, and even though she had never met her soulmate, she loved watching the living version of her spirit marking, one of her very few indulgences. She would watch them for what felt like hours to his young self, and Steve got very good at drawing the zoo, and the animals in it. 

His ma had always been practical, and happy with her life, but at the zoo, she relaxed more than usual. She had taught him about the beauty of the animal kingdom, all the fantastical shapes and sizes, colors and patterns that God had created. 

“We were told that God will show himself through his creations,” she had always said. “And god gave us our spirit markings as animals so we could see the breadth of his creation, no matter how little we may travel.” 

She had always had so much unwavering faith, despite Steve never manifesting his spirit marking, and the fact that she had never met her soulmate. 

She had never shown him pity, despite his illnesses, and the fact that Steve had gradually given up on ever having a spirit marking. She had never given up on it though, despite the fact that everyone got a marking by the time they were four at the very latest. 

“You have a great future ahead of you,” she had always said. “You have been given so much trial so you could be stronger than most. You do have a soulmate, I don’t know why it may not be seen, but you do, I can feel it.” 

She had been right in a way, he did have a soulmate, but the way it happened hadn’t even been close to worth it. 

He had visited Central Park once or twice since the ice, but he hadn’t been able to go into the zoo, just like he hadn’t been able to visit Brooklyn, and for the same reasons. 

The zoo had been renovated when he was sixteen, but he had seen it happen, seen it in progress, and made memories with his ma in both versions. But it had changed while he was gone, like a record skipping, making it look like a completely different zoo, despite only seeing it from the entrance, except for the sea lion pool in the center, making it feel like a distorted dream, like any minute a monster would appear and begin to chase him. 

Just the thought that going there wouldn’t trigger memories because of how different it was made him feel sick, like his memories of his ma would disappear. 

+-+

The next day, he woke up in his room in the tower. He had barely been able to fall asleep last night, both from the nerves for what his visit to the zoo would bring, and knowing that he was being watched. 

Tony had introduced him to JARVIS last night, and with how seamlessly he seemed to be integrated into the tower and it’s security systems, how intelligent he seemed to be, it was like there was a real human watching him at all times, just waiting for him to mess up. 

Steve made his way to the kitchen, so he could grab some breakfast, and some food to take with him. 

Tony was in the kitchen already, looking like he hadn’t slept all night. 

Steve gathered up some eggs, and began to fry them up, and frying up some toast as well. Tony was drinking from an enormous mug of coffee, tapping at the small screen in front of him. 

As Steve ate through his breakfast, Tony looked over at him blearily and said, “looks like you aren’t perfect after all.” 

“What?” Steve said, feeling his stomach drop. 

“You’re a messy eater,” Tony said. “Not to mention that you speak with your mouth full. From what my dad said you were the most perfect and well mannered person to walk the earth. Glad to see that he was wrong.” 

Steve wondered why Tony had even agreed to house him if he hated Steve-no, if he hated Captain America that much. 

+-+

Going to the zoo was nerve wracking, he had dressed in his most casual clothes, with a baseball cap, and an oversized jacket. 

He was already feeling nervous, and the last thing he needed was to be crowded by people wanting Captain America, needing the impervious and perfect hero, when he felt like he was going to either throw up, cry, or both. 

He managed to make it through the front area and the line without incident, but things hit a snag once he got to the booth. 

“One adult admission?” The young adult in the admission booth asked. 

“Yes please,” Steve replied. 

“That will be nineteen ninety-five,” she said. 

Steve’s stomach sunk. He had forgotten that it actually cost money to get into the zoo now, and now he would hold up the line. 

“Just a moment,” he said awkwardly, digging in his jacket pockets for his wallet. It took a while, and he had to dig the card out of it. 

She was frustrated about him taking so long, he could tell, but she easily hid her annoyance. 

Then as he used his card, she took her first proper look at him and did a double take. “Captain America!” She whispered, looking at him in awe. 

His stomach sunk, but he barely managed a smile, and said, “last time I was here, the zoo was free.” 

She stared at him for a moment, then said “I won’t spread the word, don’t worry. If you’re here to see the zoo, then you should be able to see the zoo without being crowded.” 

He felt almost dizzy with relief. Just the thought of an enormous crowd all centred on him made him feel nauseous. 

She looked at him critically, then gave him his ticket. “I hope you have a great visit to the Central Park Zoo today!” She said cheerily, visibly thinking about something else, hopefully not how to get the most media attention out of this situation. 

He walked into the crowd near the entrance, and began to explore.


	10. Flamingos make bonds of both the friendly and romantic kind that last for a lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meets his soulmate

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/s8o6.png)

Bucky had just started his break, and went to visit Jessica at her admission booth, because she had texted him, told him that something was up. 

“Bucky!” She called once he got within range. “I have a favour to ask, but you can’t tell anyone about it.” 

“Of course,” Bucky said. “I promise that I will try to help.” 

“So first,” she said. “Captain America is in the zoo right now. He’s trying to keep his presence on the down low, so I didn’t recognize him at first. You know how Mr. Ward makes a big fuss over celebrities?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “What’s the favor you’re asking though?” 

“Can you hang out near him on your break?” She asked, “keep him from getting recognized, and maybe run interference if someone who would report it to Mr. Ward comes around?” 

“Can’t he do that himself?” Bucky asked sceptically, “he’s a superhero, he doesn’t need protection.” 

“You didn’t see how he reacted to me figuring out that it was him,” she said sadly. “When I told him that I knew who he was, he looked like he had been punched in the gut. Then he gave me this customer service smile, you know, the “I hate that I have to waste my time doing this, but I have to act nice about it,” kind of smile. And believe me, I know that smile so well, I’ve been in customer service since my first job! 

And the relief on his face when I told him that I wouldn’t tell anyone that he was there… he looked like he’d been given a reprieve from a death sentence.” 

“Wow,” Bucky said, surprised by her vehemence. She had never been very impressed by celebrities, but clearly Captain America had made an impression. 

“I know you don’t like Captain America much for whatever reason,” she said. “But he clearly just wants some privacy. I can’t imagine what he’s been through, but can you help him?” 

“Fine,” Bucky said. “But if he figures out that I’m keeping an eye on him, I’m pushing you under that super soldier bus.” 

“Fair enough,” she said. “I’d better get back though, I can’t be caught slacking!” 

Bucky walked off in the direction that Jessica had pointed, looking for someone that looked like they were trying to hide. 

Captain America was surprisingly easy to spot, wearing a baseball cap on an overcast day like an amateur, and wearing a leather jacket that hung from his wide shoulders like a curtain. He was hunched inwards like he was trying to look small, his hands in his pockets, barely looking at the exhibits around him. 

Bucky followed him as he ambled towards the snow leopards, trying to get a better idea of what he was getting into. He wasn’t getting that fake feeling that he usually got when he saw Captain America, but then again, usually he was talking, or at least facing the camera. 

If he was genuine about wanting privacy, like Jessica had thought, he might just want to be a normal person though. Maybe he hadn’t expected faking being Captain America would be as in the public eye as he was. Either way, following him would be a good way to get a better idea of what was happening. 

He walked around the zoo, almost relaxed at first, but he quickly seemed to realize that he was being followed and tensed up, looking around him in a way that seemed random, but he was clearly looking for whoever was following him. 

Bucky decided to come forwards, not wanting to make him even more uneasy. 

“Hey,” Bucky said, coming up alongside him. 

“Yes?” Captain America said stiffly, steering them towards the side of the path. 

“I’m Bucky, my friend Jessica, who works at the reception, told me that… someone specific was here. I’m guessing your name is Steve?” 

He stiffened up sharply and said, “she did?!” 

“She only told me,” Bucky said reassuringly, steering them into a small area towards the side. “And she only told me because the owner of this zoo always makes a big deal about celebrities, she wanted me to distract him if he came around, because she seemed to think that you didn’t want much attention.” 

Captain America squinted at Bucky suspiciously, but seemed to believe him. 

“You’re a zookeeper I guess,” he said. “Are you going to give me the VIP tour?” 

“Not exactly,” Bucky said. “I’m on my break right now, so I’ll have to split soon, but I’ll show you my favorite animals. Follow me.” 

They moved towards the snow monkeys, but the closer they got, the more miserable Captain America began to look. He was hiding it pretty decently behind a stern look, but Bucky could practically see the sadness rolling off of him, and knew he was lying, even though he wasn’t talking. 

Seventy years was a long time, enough that, if he somehow was the actual Captain America, the zoo would have changed dramatically since he had last been there. Hadn’t there been a major renovation in the nineteen eighties? 

“What was this when you were younger?” Bucky asked, trying to break the silence. 

Steve looked surprised, but said, “this was where the hippopotami were.” 

He was acting like this was the worst place that he could possibly be, he hadn’t fumbled for an answer at all, and the sense that he had been lying wasn’t really there anymore. Either he was bulshitting, or he had actually been there. Maybe this tour was a mistake. 

Bucky steered him towards a small alcove where a zookeeper door was, one with a little bench, enough space that they didn’t have to be too near, and best of all, privacy. 

He sat on the bench, and gestured for Steve to join him. When he sat down, and put his head in his hands, Bucky noticed that the feeling like he was lying had truly gone away. He wasn’t acting like Captain America anymore. 

Bucky said, “you don’t have to follow me if it’s that awful for you. Whether you follow me or not, I won’t tell anyone that you’re here, except for maybe after you’re long gone, and that would only be to my family anyway.” 

“Really?” He said suspiciously, taking his head from his hands. Bucky’s heart broke a little at the confusion in his eyes. 

“Of course not!” He said, “everyone deserves their privacy, and if you only followed me because you thought I would tell someone if you didn’t… well, you don’t have to. I can go right now if you want.” 

He looked at Bucky consideringly, and said, “I don’t mind you much. I’m just… still not used to needing to consider that everyone can know my whereabouts in seconds thanks to phones and social media, so I might have gone overboard.” 

“Makes sense,” Bucky said, feeling his spirit marking move down his arm. “But hey-“ he said putting his hand on his shoulder, his pinky barely touching the bare skin of Steve’s neck. 

There was a sudden surge of warmth in his hand and chest, and he knew that he had found his soulmate. 

They stared at each other, Bucky felt an odd giddiness, pure, unadulterated happiness. Stunned by the intensity, he just stared at Steve, his soulmate, then Bucky looked at the place where they had touched. 

His monkey was on the side of his hand, the color changed from black and white, to a pale brown. On Steve’s neck there was a tiny tiger, a beautiful burnt orange colour, with stunning yellow eyes, pressing against the spot where his monkey was. 

He felt a sudden pang of sadness, knowing that they would never be able to meet, despite how hard they were trying to get near each other. 

“Are… are we soulmates?” Steve asked, “I can’t see them.” 

“Oh,” Bucky said, realizing that was true. He moved his hand to Steve’s other hand and held it, knowing that their spirit markings would always follow each other’s when they were close enough. 

“Oh!” Steve said in surprise as the tiger on him moved to his hand to touch Bucky’s monkey again. “It’s never moved that fast before!” 

They stayed there for a moment, relishing in the warmth and closeness of their little alcove, away from the rest of the world. But if this really was the actual, original Steve Rogers then… 

“I thought you were soulmates with Peggy Carter though?” 

Steve stiffened a bit, but still spoke. “We weren’t soulmates. We let them think it because it made things easier. She hadn’t met her soulmate yet, and it was seen as wrong to even date if you hadn’t met your soulmate yet. And… I didn’t have a spirit marking then.” 

“At all?” Bucky asked, surprised by the very idea. Just the thought was so surprising, that someone could just… not get a spirit mark. Did that make it more or less likely to be true? 

“No. I woke up with it though.” 

“That sounds terrible!” Bucky said, imagining waking up with a spirit marking after so long without one… 

“Mine has always stayed still on my chest, warm, and never changed. Thought you were dead for the longest time, but it was warm for no reason. Then it started to move a while ago, only a little bit before the battle. But if you’re my soulmate, then no wonder my mark was so weird.” 

They stayed there together, basking in the warmth of their spirit markings, holding hands, Bucky feeling giddy with happiness. They had finally found each other. 

Bucky spared a thought to be thankful that they had moved to the alcove before they had touched, if not for that, his parents would probably know who his soulmate was before he could tell them. 

Then the beeping of his end of break alarm cut through the calm, and they jolted away from each other, Steve settling into a defensive stance. 

“It’s fine!” Bucky said, fumbling at his pocket, the adrenaline rush from the sudden u turn making it nearly impossible to pull his phone out of his skinny jeans. 

Steve’s eyes were wide, and when Bucky (barely) managed to get his phone out without dropping it, and turned the alarm off, he slowly relaxed. 

“What?” Steve said, “what was that?” 

“That was my alarm,” Bucky said sheepishly. “I usually set an alarm for the end of my breaks, because I tend to visit the animals during them. Time tends to… disappear when I do that, so I set an alarm. Sorry.” 

“Not something to be sorry for,” Steve said. “Do… do you have to go now? Your break’s over now right?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky said, his heart sinking. “Can I get your phone number? I can call or text you once my shift is over.” 

“That would… not be a good idea. My phone number is classified, and… I’m not allowed to give it out. I can contact you though?” 

“Sure,” Bucky said, slightly suspicious. “I don’t have anything to write with though.” 

“I have an eidetic memory,” Steve said. “You can just tell me, I’ll remember it.” 

“My phone number is (212) 462-8259. But… can I at least tell my family that you’re my soulmate? Maybe my best friend?” 

Steve looked at him in surprise, and said, “you’re asking me? But… you’re supposed to tell your family. It’s… it’s a  _ thing _ .” 

“You obviously don’t want attention,” Bucky said. “I can tell people that I met my soulmate, but who they are is a secret. Actually, I could do that with my family too, have something good to hold over my sister’s head, drive her a little bit crazy… 

But you do deserve the chance to at least tell me what you want in terms of that either way. I may know that my family won’t tell anyone, but you don’t. Even though we’re soulmates, we literally just met.” 

“Oh,” Steve said, sounding awed. “I… I guess as long as you only tell your immediate family that it’s me, and make sure that they won’t tell anyone else…” 

“Could I tell my friend Sam?” Bucky asked, “I live with him, and he’s the friend I’m closest to.” 

“Sure,” Steve said. 

“Oh wait,” Bucky said, heart sinking. “I almost forgot, I guess you wouldn’t know because it was after your time.” 

“Something about soulmates?” Steve asked, sounding resigned. 

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “You should know… there’s a law, that you need to register the fact that you met your soulmate, and who they are, with the government.” 

“What!” Steve said sharply, face going white. 

“I won’t do it,” Bucky said. “Not until you say I can. I don’t want to do it either, don’t want to only be known as your soulmate. As far as I knew, my soulmate was dead, so I could have the excuse of completely forgetting that was a thing.” 

“What would the consequences be,” Steve said cautiously. “And… wouldn’t there be exceptions or something for… people in politics or something? Because if their soulmates were well known, it would put their soulmates in danger.” 

“Oh yeah,” Bucky said, getting distracted for a second by the feeling that someone was watching him. He looked around, but couldn’t see anyone looking, so he managed to get back on track. 

“There’s the “high profile soulmate exception clause,” but… you need to pay a lot of money to register, and I think it still gets filed, just on a secret list, and by more trusted government workers.” 

“Good thing I have a lot of back pay,” Steve said distantly. “I need to get more information,” Steve continued. “Do you know if it’s ok to wait to register? Especially if I’m going to try to register on the more secretive list.” 

“I think you have a grace period of about a week?” Bucky said, “but yeah, I’m fine with it.” 

“You… you should probably go now,” Steve said quietly. “I don’t want to get you in trouble with your boss.” 

“It’s not a huge deal,” Bucky said. “We wander around all the time as zookeepers anyway, so they won’t notice if I’m a little late, but I should get going anyway. But… before I go, can I give you a hug?” 

Steve had looked so miserable before they had touched, had been so put off balance by the law about registering his soulmate, and now with them parting so soon after meeting for the first time, Bucky felt that Steve could use a hug, and he loved giving them. 

Steve’s face twisted up a bit, eyes tight, and Bucky backtracked, saying, “if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine! I won’t be offended or anything, I just felt like you could use one.” 

Steve looked at him critically, and said “maybe later?” 

“Of course,” Bucky said. “Is a handshake alright?” 

“Yeah.” They shook, the warmth of their spirit markings making them linger, but they separated eventually. 

“I’ll call or text you,” Steve said. 

“See you!” Bucky said, jogging backwards, keeping Steve in sight for as long as possible, before he was hidden by the crowd. 

As he got back to what he had been doing, he found that the happiness that had glowed so bright in his chest when Steve had been nearby, was fading slowly. 

He felt oddly bereft, despite only having just met Steve. The rest of the day, he felt tired, grumpy, generally low, and he had a minor headache. 

He had heard that meeting your soulmate would make you happier, no matter what had happened that day, and that the comedown afterwards was never fun, but he hadn’t expected it to be like that. It felt a bit like a hangover from when he had gone to parties before he joined the army. It was nice to know that there was a reason for his spirit mark being weird though.

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/c0x4.png)

  
[Link to picture](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/mi73.png)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more art from the wonderful Mortenavida! Look at the wondrousness she has graced us with!


	11. Previously traumatized chimpanzees show signs that are similar to the symptoms of PTSD and anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates don’t solve everything though, especially for Steve

  
[Link to photo](https://zupimages.net/up/20/28/zhvy.png)

Steve was happy at first. 

He had remembered what Peggy had said about how his soulmate was the one meant to see him properly, to love him as he was. Maybe Bucky might see past Captain America, he had noticed that Steve didn’t really want to hug him, and offered a handshake instead, and had noticed when he was feeling down. 

He didn’t hate hugs, but touch in general made him twitchy, and he didn’t like how when he was hugged, that person’s scent, and whatever other scents were clinging to them, were rubbed off onto him. Enhanced senses could really be awful at times. 

But as he wandered around the zoo, trying to get something at least for the mission, his happiness disappeared, a headache starting up, and his limbs began to almost feel heavy. 

He felt tired without reason, like he had gone too long without sleep, and his fingers started feeling numb. As he walked onto the subway, he got more exhausted and worried. 

He hadn’t gotten recognized very often after he had moved back to New York, mostly because everyone seemed to think that he was still back in DC, but… what if Bucky told the news that he was here? What if he used the information that Steve had given him to become famous or rich? 

Steve had seen “tell all” magazines, someone a celebrity knew and trusted giving everything they knew to the public. How much worse would it be for Captain America, someone that seemed so invulnerable, so perfect. 

He had no doubt that so many people would want to get their hands on his secrets. Or worse, what if Bucky pretended to be kind for longer, had Steve tell him even more incriminating things, then sold  _ everything  _ to a magazine! There would probably be a public outcry. 

He knew that being queer was more accepted nowadays from the minimal research he had done, but they would definitely hate it in Captain America. 

And he couldn’t deny, Bucky was attractive, and definitely his type, but Steve couldn’t do anything about it. He didn’t want to pressure Bucky into anything like that, and besides, he had usually been able to get over crushes quickly, so it wouldn’t be a problem for long. 

What if SHIELD got a hold of Bucky? 

The thought made him stop in his tracks, making people shove into him in an effort to make him move again, before they began to part around him. 

He knew that SHIELD thought that Peggy was his soulmate, so they hadn’t bothered him about that much, but everyone knew that soulmate pairs that were near each other were more effective in combat than apart, and also better than they had ever been before finding their soulmate. 

Anytime a soulmate pair found each other in the war, they were always stationed together, and there were a few pairs in the STRIKE team, including Rumlow and Rollins, who were platonic soulmates. 

If Fury knew that his super soldier could get even more powerful, and Bucky was even minimally good at fighting, then Fury would be after him in a second. 

Who knew what he would try to get that? Fury was a fairly good person, and definitely had good intentions, but Steve didn’t want Bucky exposed to his methods. When Fury had brought Steve in, they had both known that mentioning the Tesseract was Fury manipulating him, but Steve had read the files anyway, because that’s how effective it was. 

Bucky had been military, had gotten out, and clearly loved his job. If he had wanted to fight, he would have stayed in the military, and he and his family and friends were clearly close. Missions could take weeks, and could happen at any time. There was no way that he was exposing Bucky to SHIELD, or mentioning that his soulmate wasn’t Peggy. 

He forced himself to continue walking towards the tower, still worrying about what Fury would do for his soulmate. 

When he walked into the elevator that went up to the private parts of the tower, JARVIS greeted him. “Welcome back Captain Rogers, how was your fact-finding mission?” 

He suddenly remembered that he hadn’t found anything out, he had been so focused on how the zoo had changed, and then Bucky, that he had completely forgotten about why he had gone there. 

“It went ok,” he told JARVIS, “mostly just getting a feel for the place.” 

He went to his floor, and pulled out his phone, ready to input Bucky’s number, but he stopped. He knew that JARVIS was always watching, and he was pretty sure that he didn’t share much, if any information on him with Tony, but what if… 

He had been given his phone by SHIELD, who had monitored his apartment in DC. They wanted to keep close tabs on him, make sure that he was safe, because of how important he was, not only as an agent, but as a symbol. What if they had managed to make it so that whatever happened on his phone was recorded? Then Bucky would be, if not in danger, then had the possibility to be discovered by Fury. 

He couldn’t subject Bucky to that. 

It would be a good thing, he told himself, if he didn’t contact Bucky, then he couldn’t be disappointed when he found out how different Steve was to Captain America. 

Bucky’s spirit animal was a regal and powerful tiger, and now he knew that he was nothing more than a dancing monkey, just like he had tried to prevent. 

He hadn’t wanted a soulmate in the first place, he reminded himself, laying on the bed that was way too comfy. 

Bucky seemed like a pretty decent person, but he would never compare to the Howlies. It felt like a betrayal of his friends to find Bucky, like the universe was saying that Bucky was better than them, like this stranger was better for him than the friends he had made himself. 

It had been hard for him to make friends with the Howlies, both because he was their CO, but also because they had seen the comics. At first they had thought that he was a joke, but they had eventually learned about each other, found inside jokes, and learned to fight together. 

None of them, not even Peggy had compared to Arnie though. 

Peggy had come close, but Arnie had been with him through his very worst sicknesses, the times when they had barely enough money to pay rent, much less eat at all. 

If Arnie didn’t remember Steve, or even worse, only cared that he was Captain America, he was sure that it would kill him. 

Seeing Peggy, having her not remember, that had been bad enough, but Arnie like that? He felt like he was going to throw up at the very thought. 

Why did it have to be him? 

Why did the universe wipe those carefully cultivated friendships, that  _ life, _ clean, like they were as irrelevant in this world as Steve Rogers was? 

Maybe Peggy had been wrong. Maybe he had been pulled here because of Bucky, heedless of anything that was important to him.


	12. A sperm whales call can be heard from up to fifteen kilometres away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky updates his family

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/pyl3.png)

Bucky was pissed. He had been excited at first, waiting for the call or text, for contact from his soulmate. 

As the night had gone on however, he got more and more twitchy. He had assumed that Steve had wanted to make sure that he was at home before calling, but as the evening wore on, that possibility wore thin. 

He had wanted to call his parents and Becca once Steve had contacted him, maybe get a better idea of how this would happen, but now that he wasn’t sure if Steve would contact him at all, he would need to call them now, so he wouldn’t interrupt them when they were trying to sleep. 

“You need to call them now,” Sam said. “I can’t have you “forgetting” to call them, and just putting it off. It will make you feel better to talk with them.” 

“I know,” Bucky said. “I just… they were so hopeful for me. I don’t want to give them bad news.” 

“Maybe he fell asleep,” Sam said. “You can’t assume anything yet, when you barely know him. I can call Becca on my phone, and you can call your parents on yours so you don’t have to say it all twice.” 

“Thanks Sam,” Bucky said. He knew that saying it twice would only make him feel worse. 

“Hey Sam,” Becca said, muffled by being on the line, but still audible. “What’s up?” 

“Something important,” Sam said. “It isn’t an emergency, but you’re going on speakerphone for now, so we can call your parents at the same time.” 

Bucky dialed their number, and Becca said, “ok, something’s definitely up. You’re both ok right?” 

“I didn’t know you cared,” Bucky said, trying to joke around with her like usual, but his tone falling flat. 

“I’m your sister,” Becca said, more sincerely as the phone rang. “Of course I care.” 

Then his ma picked up. “Bucky, how are you doing?” 

“Not awful,” he said. “Could you call dad here so I can put you both on speakerphone? Becca’s here too.” 

She called for his dad then said, “what’s wrong sweetheart? Something is wrong, I can tell.” 

“What’s happening?” His dad said, “why was I called?” 

“Now that you’re all here,” Bucky said nervously. “I met my soulmate.” 

“What!” Becca cried, “really?! That’s awesome!” 

“I knew you’d find them eventually,” his ma said. 

“What are they like?” His dad asked. 

“Becca, you know how you, Sam, and Jessica were joking about my soulmate being an alien or one of the Avengers?” 

“Yeahhhh,” she said cautiously. 

“Well,” he said, gathering his courage. “My soulmate is Captain America.” 

“No way!” Becca said, “Jessica was actually right!” 

“You met Captain America?” His dad said, “at the zoo?” 

“But I thought that you didn’t believe he was the actual Captain America?” Becca asked. 

“The thing is,” Sam chimed in. “Apparently it wasn’t true that he was soulmates with Peggy Carter, and he didn’t have a mark until he woke up in the future, which was only a little bit before the battle of Manhattan.” 

“And that was when your spirit mark woke up,” his ma said thoughtfully. 

“That… actually makes a lot of sense,” his dad said. 

“And that’s why his spirit animal didn’t change,” Bucky said. “Because he was way past the age where most people’s animals change, and was frozen in ice, so his personality couldn’t change.” 

“But you said it was complicated,” his mom said. “I have a feeling that there’s more to it than you’re saying.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed. 

Sam gave him a look, like he had known that he had entertained the thought of making them think that everything was fine, but they knew him too well. 

“I was on my break, he was… as incognito as he could get, so I don’t think anyone noticed, but we were kind of talking, and I accidentally touched him slightly, and… we felt it. 

But when I had to go I asked for his number so we could talk, maybe arrange to meet again. He said he couldn’t give me his number, which kind of makes sense, because a lot of people would probably kill for his number, so I gave him mine. I’ve been off work for quite a while now, and I haven’t even gotten a text.” 

“Maybe he forgot?” His dad said. 

“I’m his soulmate,” Bucky said. “You don’t exactly forget meeting your soulmate and besides, it’s known that he has an eidetic memory.” 

“Or maybe he’s on a mission!” Becca said, “or a super secret meeting and he needed to turn his phone off.” 

“Or,” his ma interrupted. “Maybe he fell asleep when he got home, and will call you when he wakes up.” 

“I hope so,” Bucky said. “But… what if he doesn’t want to call me? What if he only took my number so I’d leave him alone?” 

There was a clamour of voices, everyone insisting that it definitely wasn’t that. 

“But listen,” Bucky said. “He could be friends, or hang out with anyone he wants, any celebrity, maybe even the queen if he wanted! And here I am, a one armed zookeeper with nothing special about me except for a pile of issues, and gay as well, even if he doesn’t know it! I have nothing that he could want!” 

There was a silence, then his mom said, “Bucky. Sweetheart. I love you very much, but you are being stupid. 

You are an incredible, and very strong person, with so much to offer. If he doesn’t see that, then that’s on him, not on you. 

And he may be from the nineteen fourties, but a soulmate is the person most likely to accept you for who you are, I highly doubt that he would be homophobic.” 

“Besides,” Sam said. “You’re jumping to that conclusion pretty quickly, just because he hasn’t called you yet doesn’t mean that he won’t ever call you. Maybe he’s even nervous about it because social standards back then were so different. You just don’t know.” 

“You’re right and we both know it,” Bucky said. “But it’s just… he’s Captain America, the first superhero ever, one of the most famous people in the USA, and, according to a lot of people, a symbol of America. It’s… kind of intimidating. I’ve seen how people react to celebrities soulmates, and I really don’t want that kind of spotlight on me.” 

“I doubt that would happen,” his dad said. “You said that he was trying to be incognito, wanted his privacy. If he doesn’t want that attention, then he will respect your want for it. You seem to match pretty well in that respect!” 

“What about the soulmate list?” His ma asked, “if you two want to keep it a secret…” 

“He said that he can probably get onto the secret soulmate list,” Bucky said. “Apparently he has enough back pay from the army that he can probably afford it.” 

“That’s a lot of money!” Becca said. “I wonder if he’ll become a bit of a sugar daddy…” 

“Ew no!” Bucky shouted, “that would be gross, and besides, technically he’s three years younger than me, and I’m not in enough debt to be desperate enough to want one. I’d have to be pretty desperate to consider bottoming all the time.” 

“Thanks for that image,” Sam said dryly. “Now I have to go grab some brain bleach so that I will be able to get it up again.” 

Bucky couldn’t help a snicker, lifting his spirits a bit. 

“That is not something I wanted to know about my child thank you,” his dad said. 

“You’re welcome!” Bucky sing-songed. “I did it just for you, my wonderful family that I love!” 

“Please keep your love to yourself,” his ma said dryly. “But you’d better not think bad of yourself again, or I will not hesitate to ground you.” 

“Thanks ma,” Bucky said, more sincerely. “And the rest of you too. I really needed that.” 

“Your welcome!” Everyone said in a slightly disjointed chorus. 

“Be quiet before everyone in the building convenes to kick me and Sam out!” Bucky laughed, “talk with you later!” 

“The moment that you get off the phone with Steve,” his ma said firmly. “That’s when you call us, no exceptions or excuses.” 

“Sure,” Bucky said. “Now get off the phone!” 

Everyone laughed, and the calls ended. 

“I told you,” Sam said. “I told you that you would feel better after you talked with them.” 

“Thanks Sam,” Bucky said. “I’ll get you a big gift once my sugar daddy comes through!” 

“Ew!” Sam said, walking briskly out of the room. “I’m out of here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love writing Bucky’s family!


	13. The scientific name for a gorilla is “gorilla gorilla gorilla”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve sees Bucky again

  
[Link to picture](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/u1wg.png)

Steve felt awful. 

All he had been doing was lying in bed, like he was waiting for his problems to fix themselves. 

He knew that he was avoiding Bucky, his soulmate that he had only met a day ago, and he hadn’t gone to the zoo yesterday in hopes that he would never have to see him, not have to deal with him, or this situation ever again. 

He hadn’t texted or called him yet either. 

He knew that would hurt Bucky, that his soulmate didn’t want to see him beyond the first meeting, but he had to. Bucky may be interested in him now, but once Steve showed his real self, that interest would disappear. 

The Avengers and his coworkers may be interested in being friends now, but he only let them see Captain America, the stoic soldier and leader, not his real self. 

He knew that very few (if any) of them would like Steve Rogers, he had a lot of experience with that. The only people that had seen  _ Steve _ and liked him were his ma, Arnie, Peggy, Dr. Erskine, and the Howlies a little bit. 

He knew that Arnie’s ma had disliked him, even though she was kind to him, she had been talking with her friends when she didn’t know he was there, and said that he was a bad influence on Arnie, that she only let them hang out because she knew that he didn’t have any other friends, and he probably didn’t have much longer to live. 

He couldn’t let Bucky down like that, especially if he was expecting Captain America. The thought that Bucky, his soulmate, not liking his real self made him nauseous. 

And besides, he hadn’t wanted a soulmate anyway. He wanted his old life back, not a soulmate who probably wouldn’t even like him. 

He was watching the TV in his room absentmindedly, the noise and flashing colours distracting him from his thoughts temporarily. There was breaking news about some kind of wild animal attacking a popular judge while she was on vacation. They thought it was some kind of big cat, because of… the claw pattern? Did animal claws really have differences that specific besides size? 

Then his phone rang. “Captain Rogers here,” he answered, turning off the TV. 

“Captain,” Fury said. “Did you find interesting information to analyze, or were you just ignoring your mission yesterday?” 

How did he know? Had Tony told him? Or was it possible that they had tracked his phone? He knew that phones could somehow show your place on a map, so it was definitely possible… 

“Sorry sir,” Steve said. “I decided to do some unpacking, and I got distracted. Tony recommended some movies to me.” 

That part was true at least, even if he hadn’t actually  _ watched _ any of the movies that Tony had recommended. 

“I am going today though.” 

“You better,” Fury said. “This is a mission, despite the lack of shooting. Take this seriously.” 

Steve wanted to protest that he was taking it seriously, but he knew that would only make it harder on himself. 

“Of course sir,” he said. 

Then Fury hung up. He had to go to the zoo now, if Fury could know where he was… Maybe Bucky didn’t work today, he hoped.

+-+

When he got to the ticket booth he was shaking with nerves. 

What if Bucky hated him and never wanted to see him again? What if he had told people other than his family and friend about the bond? Or maybe he had even told the internet, and it would never go away. 

Fury would probably notice that if it had happened though, and definitely would have brought it up when they talked. 

“Hi again!” Jessica, the person that he had bought his ticket from the last time said. “I really wasn’t expecting you to come back so soon!” 

“Neither was I,” Steve said. “Thank you for keeping it a secret that I was here.” 

“No problem,” she said, handing him his ticket. “Have a good visit!” 

“You too,” he said. 

As he walked away he realized that Bucky hadn’t told her, had kept the secret. If he had told her, she probably would have said something, or at least given him a cold shoulder for not calling Bucky. 

He wandered around the zoo for a bit, ignoring the temperate area, the one that Bucky had said held his favorite animals. 

The birds in the tropical area were interesting, all sorts of interesting colours and patterns and shapes. 

He overheard one of the guests ranting to their friend about how there had been bird traps set in Central Park, even in the lake, and how she hadn’t seen a specific hawk for a long time, so it had probably been captured, and how if it wasn’t catch and release, then it couldn’t be allowed, and on and on. How could she tell the birds apart though? All birds of a species had the same feather patterns right? 

Eventually, he ran out of places to wander, and things to waste time with, and had to go back to the temperate zone, and the monkeys. 

He couldn’t help but be curious, his spirit animal was a monkey after all. He didn’t know what a monkey represented, or any animal really, because he hadn’t had a spirit mark. 

Everyone had some kind of book with animal meanings, and they were often handed down, because most people hadn’t had the money to buy new ones, but his ma had sold theirs. 

Steve had been about thirteen years old, and long past the age that everyone else had gotten their marks, and he had almost hated that book, a symbol of everything he couldn’t have. Then he had come home one day and it was gone, even though it had been passed down from the parents that his ma had loved so much, that had died before she had come over from Ireland. 

When he had asked her why, she had said “it’s just an object. It was making you sad and we don’t need it. I would much rather you be happy than still have it.” 

He had never really known any meanings, except for the most common ones that he overheard. He may have an enhanced memory, but it didn’t apply to things he had already forgotten before it. 

He looked over the large moat, looking at the monkeys, who were in a group, grooming each other. Then he saw a movement in the foliage separating the spit of land from everything else. 

He studied it. Maybe it was one of the monkeys? But it seemed too big, about human size, possibly a zookeeper. Then, one of the macaques split off, and went to the foliage that was rustling. 

The person inside shifted into a position that let Steve see what was happening and… it was Bucky. He had a distinctly bulky and one armed silhouette, easy to distinguish from any other zookeeper that he had seen. Then the macaque clambered up to Bucky, who began to pet it. 

He could hear faint, muffled laughter from that area as it began to climb all over him. “-trying to cheer me up?-“ he heard. 

He suddenly felt awful, this wonderful, kind and gorgeous guy had just been completely ignored by his soulmate after the first meeting, been rejected by a bad soulmate who hadn’t even gotten to know him first. 

And that bad soulmate had been Steve. 

He had been afraid of being rejected by Bucky, but Bucky had been rejected by Steve, all without an explanation or even an apology. The least he deserved was an explanation. 

He knew that Bucky had been telling the truth about not telling anyone about him, and he hadn’t heard anything from the news about it, so maybe he would be discreet about it, even if he didn’t like Steve. And if he could find a way to communicate without worrying about being observed… maybe he could give the guy a chance. 

It’s not like it was Bucky’s choice to be the soulmate of someone who didn’t want one. Maybe they could be aquatintences at least. 

He watched as Bucky played with the macaque, giving it a treat, before trying to go back to where the entrance was, practically having to pry the monkey off of him. Just in time too, because some of the other macaques were moving towards him. 

Steve moved to where he suspected the exit was, luckily out of the way, with a small enclosed area where they would be less noticeable. 

As he looked around, he realized that it was where they had found out they were soulmates, that same little alcove. It made him feel a little more hopeful. Bucky was obviously kind, and Steve had noticed over the years that animals had been a good indicator of what kind of person someone was. The people that they avoided or hated, were often the same people that he had a bad feeling about, and Bucky was obviously adored by the animals. 

He knew that just because Bucky was nice to him, didn’t mean that he was a good person. He was a celebrity and “national icon,” people sucked up to him a lot, no matter how rude and condescending they were to others, but animals were good at just knowing. 

He waited a little bit out of the way of the entrance, just in case someone that wasn’t Bucky came through, and settled in to wait. 

He waited for nearly fifteen minutes, until he was nearly shaking with adrenaline, before the door began to open, and he pretended to busy himself with his phone, heart pounding in his throat. 

Someone came into the room, and Steve caught a glimpse of chocolate coloured hair out of the corner of his eye, and felt his tiger move to the arm closest to him. 

“Hey, this isn’t really a place for visitors-“ Bucky said as Steve looked him in the eye. 

His eyes were a stunning blue-gray that he had barely noticed when they had met, too occupied with knowing that he was Steve’s soulmate. His hair was in a ponytail, and looked impossibly soft, but a little messy. 

Then Bucky’s face twisted, eyebrows scrunching, and his mouth flattening. “Oh,” he said flatly. “It’s you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger!


	14. Unlike most big cats, tigers are great swimmers and love water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky knows that is not normal

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/7njw.png)

Bucky had felt like he was being watched when he had gotten into the macaque habitat. 

He hadn’t been concerned, because he  _ was  _ in the exhibit. He was pretty good at hiding himself, and the foliage was pretty far away from most of the areas that people could observe from, but that didn’t mean he was invisible. He almost always felt watched while he was in the zoo, probably because of the zookeeper uniform. 

That wasn’t even mentioning the fact that the macaques loved him, and Oz had even come up to him, practically begging for pettings and treats. He was lucky that he had gotten out of there before the others had come over. Then he had tidied up their sleeping area and put out their food. 

As he came to the door that led out to the guest part of the zoo, the door he had tried to avoid as much as possible over the last two days, because he had met Steve in the alcove beyond it, he realized that someone was in that alcove. 

He walked through the door and said, “hey, this isn’t really a place for visitors-“ then he looked up. 

It was Steve. 

He was wearing the exact same jacket that he had been wearing two days ago, baseball cap on his head, looking surprisingly sheepish. 

“Oh,” he said, gut lurching. Maybe Steve was here to make him sign a non disclosure agreement or something, make sure he didn’t talk. “It’s you.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said quietly. “You don’t have to talk with me if you don’t want to. I can wait for you to finish work, or talk somewhere else if you want to.” 

“Right here and now is fine,” Bucky said. He’d much rather get it over with now instead of waiting in misery. 

“I… I’m sorry,” Steve said, and before Bucky could say anything, Steve began to babble. “I’m so sorry that I never contacted you, never even tried, but I have a reason! It’s kind of a stupid reason, and it probably won’t make much sense, but I swear that I wanted to contact you, I really did! I just-it’s kind of stupid and probably not exactly a normal perspective for someone in this century but… IthinkSHIELDmightbeabletohearmycallsand-“ 

“Wait what!” Bucky said, heart skipping a beat. “Be quiet so I can talk. Let me get this straight, you think that SHIELD, the organization that you work for, has tapped your phone, and is listening in on your calls.” 

Steve nodded his head. 

“And you think that I will-somehow not care that your personal calls are being listened to by people that have no business hearing them?” 

“I just…” Steve said nervously. “Isn’t that normal? I mean, there’s security cameras everywhere, and phones use the internet, so it makes sense that they could be listened to, right? And I’m a pretty useful asset, which would make it more necessary.” 

“Yes,” Bucky said in disbelief. “It is very possible to listen to other people’s phone conversations. No, it is not normal at all. 

Honestly? It seems really shady to me, and if I had an inkling that my phone was bugged, I would get rid of it immediately, even if I would lose money. I’m actually glad that you didn’t contact me like that, I really don’t like the idea of being listened to by someone I don’t know.” 

“But,” Steve said. “How can we contact each other? If you still want to be in contact that is. I am sorry for what I did.” 

“Of course I want to stay in contact with you,” Bucky said, surprised at how different Steve was than what he was expecting, even after their weird first meeting. 

He decided to be as honest as he could, Steve was probably very intuitive, he was known as one of the best strategists of all time, and could probably get a good idea of when Bucky was lying. 

“I may not know you very well, but you’re my soulmate. And I’m not going to make you ask for forgiveness for doing something I would have done myself in that circumstance, which is also what I believe was the right choice. 

With what you said, it is perfectly understandable, even though I would have preferred that you tracked me down earlier. 

And as for how we will contact each other, I have an idea. I’ve watched a few spy movies, and burner phones are really popular, if you buy them in cash, you can’t be connected to them in any way.” 

“That makes sense,” Steve said thoughtfully. “Na-one of my friends has her number change all the time.” 

“Probably a new burner phone every time,” Bucky said. “If the spy movies are correct that is. 

But one question, how do you know that they’ve bugged your phone?” 

“I don’t know for sure if it is bugged,” Steve said. “I’m pretty sure, but I don’t know how I would know for sure. It’s just… I know for a fact that I had cameras in the apartment that SHIELD gave me-“ 

“Cameras!?” Bucky interrupted, shocked. 

“Yes,” Steve snapped. “And I have no clue if there were microphones as well. But from what I know of the internet, nothing on it is completely secure, and anything can be accessed from anywhere. SHIELD has a lot of people that they pay to find out stuff from the internet. Cell phones and bank accounts can all be accessed from the internet. It makes logical sense that SHIELD can find out my information from those.” 

Bucky stared at Steve, awed by his deductive reasoning, despite the fact that he had only been in this century, had only  _ known about the internet,  _ for a year and a few months, and he still easily made big logical leaps about it. 

He really was a monkey with that kind of flexible intelligence. 

“Bank accounts,” Bucky said. “You think that they can track your banking too?” 

“Probably,” Steve said. “They were the ones to set everything up for me after all. But that means that they would know I bought a burner phone.” 

“Not if you buy it in cash,” Bucky said. “Just take some cash out of an ATM, and use that to pay for one.” 

“That makes sense,” Steve said. “But where do I find one?” 

“I think I’ve seen them at a lot of big box stores,” Bucky said. “Like Walmart and Target.” 

“Thanks Bucky,” Steve said. “You should probably get back to working though, I don’t want to get you in trouble. I’ll probably stay here for a while, wander around, but I’ll text you as soon as I get a burner phone.” 

“Sounds good. Just don’t “forget” to do it like last time,” he said with a wink.

“I promise,” Steve said with a soft smile. 

“I’d better get going,” Bucky said, backing away slowly, not wanting to leave. 

“See you,” Steve said, watching him go. 

+-+

Bucky spent the rest of his shift cautiously happy, glad that Steve actually had a good reason for not contacting him, instead of it being because he didn’t want Bucky as a soulmate. 

Just as he got on the subway to go home, his phone buzzed. It was an unknown number, who texted;

**Unknown number:Hey Bucky, it’s Steve.**

**Unknown number:How are you doing?**

Bucky changed Steve’s name in his phone to Monkey business.

Bucky:So you got the phone!

**Monkey business:Yeah I did!**

**Monkey business:Are you still at work?**

Bucky:Just got on the subway to get home

Bucky:My stop is coming up soon though, and I need to tell Sam that he doesn’t need to murder you for ghosting me

**Monkey business:Who is Sam?**

**Monkey business:And what does ghosting mean in this context?**

Bucky:Sam is my best friend, and the only one of my friends that I told that you specifically are my soulmate 

Bucky:And ghosting is basically not answering someone in a conversation online, disappearing, leaving them with no clue if you will answer or not

**Monkey business:I’m glad that he cares enough about you to threaten to murder Captain America.**

**Monkey business:And sorry for ghosting you.**

Bucky:Np

Bucky:I’m glad I have a friend like Sam too

**Monkey business:Np?**

Bucky:No problem

Bucky put away his phone and walked to his and Sam’s apartment from the subway station. 

“Hey Bucky,” Sam said from his bedroom. “Anything interesting happen today?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “Steve visited me at the zoo today.” 

“Really?” Sam said, peeking out of his room. “Did he lose your phone number? Or maybe not know how texting works?” 

“No,” Bucky said as they both sat down on the couch. “Basically, he has a suspicion that SHIELD has bugged his phone, and didn’t want to subject me to that.” 

“Bugged his phone?!” Sam asked incredulously, “no wonder he didn’t contact you! But… why didn’t he do anything about it?” 

“Because he thought it was normal in this century,” Bucky sighed. “He knew that there were security cameras everywhere, and thinks that because he’s an important asset to SHIELD, that it would be fine that they were observing him in every way. 

He was pretty sure that his phone was bugged, his bank account monitored, and his apartment had cameras and maybe microphones.” 

“You’re joking.” Sam said quietly, “you have to be joking.” 

“Not at all,” Bucky said. “But the worst part is, he’s obviously known this for a while, and he’s only concerned now, and only because he didn’t want me being listened to without my knowledge. 

He’s been monitored for… probably since he got out of the ice, and he’s only worried now! What… what can I do?” 

“I am definitely not qualified for this,” Sam joked. “I really didn’t think about how skewed of a perspective that he would have of this century,” Sam continued. “But he could probably use a friend. If he actually thinks that’s normal, I doubt he would have talked about it with anyone who wasn’t a spy, maybe no one at all.” 

“Makes sense,” Bucky said. “But he got a burner phone, so he didn’t have to worry about being listened in on. He texted me just a few minutes ago.” 

“That’s great!” Sam said, “we should start supper though if we want to eat anytime soon.” 


	15. Mandrill monkeys have fangs longer than a lion’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve embarrasses himself

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/2git.png)

Steve was oddly nervous. Today was Wednesday, the first day of Bucky’s “weekend,” and he knew that he had to go to the zoo to do some more investigating. 

He and Bucky had chatted for quite a while last night, and Steve was glad that Bucky hadn’t immediately asked how he was adjusting to this century like everyone else. 

As he walked into the zoo, his burner phone buzzed with a text. The phone looked similar to the phone he got from SHIELD, so if he was being monitored they wouldn’t notice that he had a different phone, and he only had Bucky’s number on it. He had even decided to set Bucky’s name on the phone to be Zookeeper B, so that if JARVIS, or anybody else looked at the screen, they would see him doing his job.

Zookeeper B:I wish mornings didn’t exist 

Steve laughed a bit and sent a message, feeling a bit giddy that Bucky had sent  _ him  _ that, being willing to talk to him despite the fact that he clearly hadn’t wanted to wake up.

**Steve:Good morning Bucky!**

Zookeeper B:Despicable 

Zookeeper B:You’re a morning person aren’t you

Zookeeper B:I hate you

**Steve:Drink some coffee, that might help.**

Zookeeper B:Are you going to say that I’m not me when I’m tired?

**Steve:I don’t know you very well yet, how would I know when you’re not you?**

Zookeeper B:It’s a meme

Zookeeper B:Someone says that someone else isn’t like themselves when they’re hungry, hands them a Snickers, and the other person changes in some way

Zookeeper B:Sorry, I didn’t even consider that you might not understand it

**Steve:Meme?**

Zookeeper B:It’s basically a picture, set of pictures, or words, that are very popular, and a lot of people make variations of them

Zookeeper B:A good meme is when you can tell which meme it is, even when the variation is very different 

**Steve:Oh, I can kind of see it now.**

Zookeeper B:One popular one is to mispronounce the name of this one actor named Benedict Cumberbatch

Zookeeper B:Like maybe say Benadryl Cabbagepatch instead 

Zookeeper B:It’s a very popular internet thing

**Steve:...Ok**

Steve looked around the zoo, but couldn’t resist looking up the word meme, so he sat on a bench for a while, scrolling through the images. 

There were a lot with a character that kind of looked like a sponge, but with pants and a face, which was weird, but he started to see the patterns in some of them, and couldn’t help but laugh at a few.

Zookeeper B:What’s your favorite book?

**Steve:Out of all the ones that have been recommended to me?**

Zookeeper B:No, favorite book. Period

Zookeeper B:No restrictions 

**Steve:The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien.**

**Steve:I guess it’s pretty old now, I doubt you would have heard of it.**

Zookeeper B:!!!!!!!

Zookeeper B:The Hobbit?!

Zookeeper B:Of course I’ve heard of it!

Zookeeper B:It’s basically the OG fantasy novel!

Zookeeper B:I much prefer science fiction in terms of what I read, but I’ve seen the movie and it’s amazing!

**Steve:There’s a movie?**

If there was a movie made from that book… then it had to be pretty popular right? Why go to all the effort to make a movie of something that was barely heard of?

**Steve:Is the book still popular?**

Zookeeper B:It’s very popular 

Zookeeper B:And now that I think about it.,. You might not know that there were some sequels to the Hobbit

**Steve:There are sequels?!**

**Steve:As in multiple sequels?!**

Zookeeper B:There are three sequels, in a series called the Lord of the Rings;The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King

Zookeeper B:Have you not looked into your favorite book since you woke up?

**Steve:I didn’t have the time.**

**Steve:I spent a lot of time just catching up on everything I missed in history.**

**Steve:I’ve watched a few movies, but I’ve been occupied with missions, so I haven’t had time to do much other than learn about history after the war**

Zookeeper B:Why are you going crazy about history?

Zookeeper B:I mean, if you like it, then you do you, but it’s not necessary 

Zookeeper B:I was never good at history, barely scraped by, but I’ve never really had to use it

Zookeeper B:Even my grandma, who lived through that history, has a few main events that she remembers, and a general idea of what happened, but never remembers the actual dates, or the whole story

Zookeeper B:Trying to learn all that sounds exhausting 

Zookeeper B:😰

Steve slumped down, and put his head in his hands. Bucky was right. Focusing on the history he had missed was easier, and he had liked it before the ice. Definitely not his favorite subject, but he liked it a lot more than everyone else in his class, and… he thought that maybe-just maybe-if he learned the history, he would fit in better, be able to understand how things had changed. Instead, he only found new things to research, more dates to know, more awful events to slog through. It was never ending.

**Steve:SHIELD recommended that I learn history to catch me up on things that happened when I was gone.**

Zookeeper B:That sounds more like a chore than anything 

Zookeeper B:Do you have any hobbies?

**Steve:I used to draw.**

Zookeeper B:why don’t you start doing that again? Might be fun! 

Steve’s blood boiled. He remembered that tone from the shrink SHIELD had gotten him, like being happy was just that easy, like drawing would erase the fact that almost all of his friends and the world he knew was dead, like it would fix everything. 

He didn’t want Bucky’s pity, didn’t want Bucky to be trying to fix him, didn’t want Bucky to be texting him because he felt sorry for him. 

He’d had enough of that before the serum… minus the texting of course. 

Everyone would suggest a different “for sure cure,” then when it didn’t work, they would say that it was all in his head, that it was because his ma hadn’t married again, that he was weak because he didn’t have a man in the house to show him strength, that he was weak in body and mind because he had been raised by just his ma.

**Steve:Just because I’ve had a hard life doesn’t mean that you have to be all sweet to me. I don’t want you texting me out of pity. I’ve survived a long time without you, and I can do it again.**

Zookeeper B:Whoa man!

Zookeeper B:Take a breath

Zookeeper B:I am not texting you out of pity, you are my soulmate, and seem like a decent person, so I want to get to know you

Zookeeper B:I’m sad that your life is awful, because as a human being you deserve better, so I’m suggesting things that might help

Zookeeper B:Please don’t explode on me like that when I’m trying to help, if you want me to stop doing something, please ask, say that you don’t like it instead of blowing up like that

Zookeeper B:And I’m definitely not saying that you can’t live without me, or whatever some people think about soulmates, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t help make your life better

Steve’s stomach fell. How stupid was he? Bucky was just trying to help him, and here he was, blowing up on him, going after him. No wonder he had so few friends. 

**Steve: I’m sorry.**

**Steve:I really jumped to conclusions, but I’m sorry I blew up on you.**

Zookeeper B:It’s all right

Zookeeper B:I actually get that, because i did that kind of thing a lot when I got home after I got discharged 

Zookeeper B:I had just lost my arm, and was really frustrated by everything, my emotions were all over the place, so I blew up a lot

Zookeeper B:Especially when anyone tried to help me, because I was very adamant that I could do everything that I could do before, even when it wasn’t true

Zookeeper B:I broke so many things because I’d throw them out of frustration, or because I squeezed them way too hard

Zookeeper B:Army… anything is much more durable than the civilian equivalent, so I definitely wasn’t used to how delicate everything was

Zookeeper B:After way too long of that though, my ma sat me down and set me straight 

Zookeeper B:And now I can use those same words on you, because it helped a lot

Zookeeper B:(Along with a lot of time and therapy)

Zookeeper B:That… was probably way too rambly, sorry!

All Steve could do was stare at his phone… at those  _ messages.  _

Bucky was sharing that?! He wasn’t worried that Steve would call him weak or whiny, like he had almost expected Bucky to, what he had been called so often? He  _ trusted  _ Steve with that? 

He couldn’t help but feel a bit happier with that thought. 

**Steve:I don’t mind a bit of rambling.**

Steve was scrambling for something to say, something that might tell Bucky how much he appreciated what he said, maybe tell him something about himself in offer...

**Steve:I’m more like a hobbit than you might think, I eat about the same amount of meals as they do, second breakfast included!**

Steve sent the message and immediately regretted it.  _ Why had he sent that?!  _ **_What made him think that was a good answer??!!_ ** **_Why was he like this???!!!_ **

**Steve:I’m so sorry please ignore me**

Zookeeper B:It’s actually nice to know that even super humans aren’t immune to being very awkward occasionally 

Zookeeper B:Besides, it got you to type less formally, which is a win in my book!

Zookeeper B:😉

**Steve:I regret everything**

Steve got up, cheeks burning, and began walking around more, trying to get an idea of the normal routine of the zoo. He noticed that a surprising amount of the zoo employees, but only zookeepers, not any of the more… replaceable workers, tripped his instincts. It was probably a sign that he was on the right track, because the rest of the STRIKE team had tended to trip his instincts on most days, but it definitely wasn’t anywhere near solid evidence. It was interesting, because it was likely that this zoo was an important place in finding out what the STRIKE team was doing, with so many employees that seemed suspicious. 

His phone buzzed a few times, but he wasn’t going to answer it.

When he got up the courage to check his phone again, he saw a few texts from Bucky.

Zookeeper B:But you do eat as much as a hobbit?

Zookeeper B:I guess all that super strength must take up a lot of energy then

**Steve:Yeah, I need about three to four times the amount of food that a normal human eats.**

**Steve:I can get away with three times the amount if I’m resting a lot, but if I’m healing something big, or being very active, I need up to four times.**

**Steve:I’m lucky that future food is full of calories and very good, so it’s easy to get all I need.**

Zookeeper B:Is it just calories that you need, or do you need other nutrients

Zookeeper B:Because that sounds kind of unhealthy…

**Steve:From what I know it’s mostly calories that I need.**

**Steve:I eat (and crave) all the meat I can get my hands on when I’m healing, for the protein and iron, but otherwise I’m usually good.**

**Steve:It was really annoying trying to eat so many calories in MREs. They taste awful and the texture is worse.**

Zookeeper B:Oh man, I can imagine!

Zookeeper B:MREs are the worst🤮

Zookeeper B:If you want some delicious high calorie baked treats, you’re welcome to come to mine and Sam’s apartment!

Zookeeper B:Both of us are stress bakers, so we usually have lots of treats in the freezer 

Steve was touched. Bucky had just taken the admission like it was nothing weird, and invited him over in one fell swoop. And he  _ got it _ when Steve talked about army stuff. 

Maybe… maybe having a soulmate wasn’t all bad. It definitely wasn’t worth waking up in the future though, if he had a choice he would definitely choose the 1940’s.

**Steve:Do you mean it when you say that I can come over some time?**

**Steve:I don’t want to disturb you two.**

Zookeeper B:It’s fine!

Zookeeper B:Sam wants to meet you anyway, and we aren’t exactly throwing parties every week at our apartment, so it’s likely that there would be nothing to interrupt 

Zookeeper B:You’d have to warn me ahead of time, but if you’re free now, you can come!

**Steve:I’m actually busy right now, even though I’m not on a mission, there’s always work to do.**

**Steve:I would love to come over when I get the chance though!**

Zookeeper B:Of course!


	16. Around two million pets are stolen each year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen to Bucky

  
[Link to photo](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/m36o.png)

Bucky was happy. It was the last day of his weekend, and he had been talking with Steve for quite a while. They were getting along, and they were slowly learning about each other. 

He had been so surprised when Steve had reacted so badly to him being sympathetic, but it was really nice to be able to use what he had been though to help Steve. 

It was kind of nice to know that Steve wasn’t perfect, that he probably wouldn’t be scared away by Bucky being messed up. 

He was cooking up some soup for the coming week. Sam was still in a few classes, and had an internship at the local VA, and Bucky had a full time job, so it was hard to get the time to cook anything more time consuming, like soup, which was one of Bucky’s favorite meals. 

A lot of it would also go in the freezer, for lunches when there were no leftovers of supper left (which was surprisingly often). 

The heat in the kitchen was awful, but it was worth it for the possibility of not having to cook if one or both of them were too tired to. His phone dinged, and he checked it once the soup was stirred.

_ Becca:Here’s a funny picture of your soulmate  _

_ Becca:Which I had to go looking for because you won’t introduce him to us _

It was an old black and white photo of Steve holding a baby, but he was holding it slightly away from him, with a weird twisted look on his face. 

He immediately texted it to Steve.

Bucky:This is a wonderful photo that I found of you

Bucky:Did it poop it’s pants, or are you really that awkward around babies 

**Monkey business:It didn’t poop it’s pants, and I’m not that awkward around babies.**

**Monkey business:Children, I’m awkward around. Babies not so much.**

**Monkey business:I wasn’t strong enough to play outside as much as most kids, so I got volunteered to watch a few babies.**

Bucky:Then why do you look so horrifically awkward?

Bucky: Was it just a bad angle?

**Monkey business:No.**

Bucky saw that Steve was typing for a long time, occasionally pausing. There was definitely a story behind this!

**Monkey business:I’m sure that you are fully aware that I am stronger than a normal person. I am strong enough to bend metal bars without too much effort. When I first got the serum I pretty quickly learned the disadvantages of that.**

**I was supposed to lift a showgirl above my head, which I didn’t need a lot of strength for, but I overestimated my strength, and accidentally broke her femur (the strongest bone in the body) with one hand. Luckily she understood that it was an accident and forgave me, but I learned to be careful.**

**Babies can be hurt by just being held wrong, and adding super strength to that equation would likely not end well.**

Bucky was gobsmacked. He had thought there was a funny story behind the picture, maybe something funny that someone had said just before the picture was taken, not something like this. 

How cautious, how careful did Steve have to be to not make a mistake? How paranoid would that make him, being able to hurt someone with a single misplaced squeeze?

**Monkey business:Sorry for the sad story.**

**Monkey business:It is easier to deal with now, but if I get angry, things tend to break.**

Bucky:That’s awful!

Bucky: I never even thought of it as a disadvantage of super strength before, but it makes a lot of sense.

**Monkey business:There are a lot more disadvantages to the serum than you might think.**

**Monkey business:By the way, what’s your favorite food?**

Steve obviously wasn’t comfortable with talking about it anymore, so Bucky indulged him.

Bucky:Soup

Bucky:I’m actually making some right now!

Bucky:I like any kind, but preferably creamy soups, not brothy soups

**Monkey business:No favorites?**

**Monkey business:And what kind of soup are you making now?**

Bucky:I’m making chicken corn chowder, filling, warm, and comforting

Bucky:I definitely have my favorite soups, but not  _ a  _ favorite 

Bucky:It’s just the perfect food!

Bucky:It’s healthy, easy to make (even though it takes a while), cheap, and you can make so many kinds!

Bucky:And for most soups, the longer you leave it, the better it tastes!

Bucky:There are no downsides

**Monkey business:When I eventually come over to test your baking skills, I would love to try some soup!**

**Monkey business:I’ve never really had a specific kind of soup, mostly just “throw everything in the pot” kind of soup.**

**Monkey business:Or cabbage soup.**

**Monkey business:My ma tried, but we never had much money to make anything fancy or very specific.**

Bucky went back to his soup, feeling warm inside. Steve not only wanted to come over and try his soup, but also shared some of his past, which was practically a miracle. He couldn’t help but feel a little pride in that.

+-+

The next day, as Bucky was getting the food for the snow leopards, his phone buzzed. He checked it quickly, and was met by a message from Steve.

**Monkey business:Hey Bucky, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be at the zoo soon. However, if you see me, please don’t acknowledge me except for maybe a wave.**

**It’s not because I don’t want to see you or anything, but the whole reason that I came to the zoo at all was because I had a mission. I can’t tell you all the details, but there were several locations that needed investigation, and the zoo was the most public one, so, because I’m the worst at stealth, I was chosen as the one to investigate the zoo.**

**That’s also the reason that I came back to see you so soon after I ghosted you, because I was told that I needed to keep investigating. I’m almost certain that nobody knows about you, but other zookeepers might be suspicious if I’m around here all the time, and you somehow know Captain America, so I’m trying to be as subtle as possible.**

**I didn’t tell you, partially because I didn’t trust you at first, and partially because I don’t want you mixed up in whatever’s happening at the zoo. I hope you don’t take this badly.**

Bucky stared at his phone for a long moment, then began typing.

Bucky:I can protect myself, I was in the army for years!

Bucky:But I’ve actually been noticing some weird things going on in the zoo for quite a while

Bucky:I don’t have the time to explain all the weird things, but I can type it all out on my break in half an hour

Bucky:If you need a place to start though, check out the mammal veterinarian, Matthew 

Bucky:A lot of the weird things I’ve noticed start with him

Bucky:And don’t worry about me sharing any information, I know about keeping OpSec

**Monkey business:Thank you for understanding, and the tip!**

Bucky put his phone in his pocket, if he was going to be discreet, then he couldn’t stay on his phone. That was a way to get reprimanded. 

He felt vindicated though, the fact that he had been noticing all those suspicious things about the zoo, then someone sends Captain America to check things out? There was obviously something to his suspicions, he wasn’t just being paranoid. 

Bucky fed and watered the snow leopards, then made his way to the entrance to the macaque exhibit, where he had found out that Steve was his soulmate. 

He had a bad feeling. 

He knew that he had to go in the entrance, but as he got closer, the foreboding feeling got worse. 

Maybe there was someone in the alcove, ready to jump him. He settled himself, ready to go on the defence, and carefully rounded the corner. There was nobody there, and yet the feeling got worse. Was something wrong with his gut feeling? 

Then he realized there was another option, that someone could be coming from behind. He heard footsteps from outside, muffled by the general commotion of the zoo. 

He turned around, just in time to catch a look at who was coming for him. It was a group of people that seemed to be soldiers of some stripe, all of whom had been in the transport team for his cubs. 

He had known that they were up to something suspicious! 

He tried to get ready to fight, but then saw a syringe in the leaders hand, making his heart skip a beat. They were crowding him into the alcove, making his breath catch in his throat, reminding him of being strapped down, unable to move as the scientist came closer, a syringe in the leaders hand, something that would make him ache from head to toe, or maybe something that would make it feel like his skin was peeling off. 

He scrabbled frantically at the door, or was it a concrete wall? behind him that he could barely feel through fingers numb with panic, but the one in front grinned, then stuck him with the syringe. 

His head spun sharply, and he felt nauseous impossibly fast. His vision dissolved into swirling black dots, and he felt, as if from a distance, his body fall to the floor. 

He could feel a few bright flashes, hints of faces. His hearing went in and out as he was dragged away, hearing flashes of hubbub, but nothing that indicated that his fall had been noticed. 

Then, slowly, his vision began to clear, the black dots that swarmed his vision slowly disappearing. 

Then he saw Matthew looming above him, a disappointed look on his face. “-Need the second shot,” he said, sounding far away. “It’s wearing off faster than it should, even when accounting for the difference in test subjects.” 

“Of course,” the leader said, bending down with a second needle. “Looks like you’re going to find out first hand where your little tiger friends went.” 

Then there was a prick, and this time, the black dots swarmed his vision slowly, and dragged him away.


	17. Vision is the most powerful of a monkeys senses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Steve is completely oblivious... for a while

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/42ay.png)

Steve had been so worried that Bucky would react badly to his confession, but instead, he had gotten information! 

It made him feel more hopeful as he made his way into the admission area. Bucky knew that something weird was going on in the zoo, and had even given him a place to start! If a zookeeper, someone who was here every day, knew that something was off, then it was almost certain. 

He had no clue how he would find Matthew, or any veterinarian, but it was a start at least, and maybe he could get Tony to look him up. 

He got through the entrance, but he suddenly got a bad feeling, like something was wrong. 

It was faint, but distinct, but there was nothing wrong that he could see. It gradually faded, but left him feeling unsettled. 

He wandered the zoo, keeping an eye on the name tags of the zoo workers that walked past. He made his way to the place that he and Bucky had found out that they were soulmates, wanting to see if, maybe, Bucky might be there. 

When he got closer though, he began to get uneasy, his heart beating faster. He walked faster, and rounded the corner into the alcove. 

He froze. 

Something was wrong-something was very wrong. Every one of his senses were screaming at him, telling him that this was wrong wrong  _ wrong _ , that something bad had happened. 

He felt nauseous with the visceral wrongness in his gut, and slumped against the wall to support himself. 

The last time he had felt anything  _ near  _ this was when the Howlies had been ambushed on their way away from a Hydra base, and even that was a pale imitation of this. 

Every instinct in his body screamed to go after whoever had done this, whoever had made this place feel so wrong. 

He had no clue what had happened though. Why was he reacting like this? 

He pushed himself from the wall. Whatever was wrong, he wouldn’t fix it by just standing around here. 

The people who did… whatever it was could come back, breaking his cover, and possibly putting the mission in danger. He would go around the zoo, see if there was anything out of place anywhere else, and he might be able to get a few clues that way. 

He memorized every detail of the area carefully, in case it might help later, and reluctantly made his way out of the alcove. He felt oddly lethargic, but it was probably the sudden letdown from the intense adrenaline rush. 

He wandered the area around the monkeys mostly, hoping that he would at least see Bucky, but keeping an eye out for anything out of place, watching out of the corners of his eyes. 

Eventually he saw one of the lower level STRIKE team members walking along the path, looking frustrated. 

Steve immediately began to follow him, looking at his phone, but keeping an ear out. He was muttering to himself quietly, but with Steve’s enhanced hearing, he could hear chunks of it, even from far away. 

“-Should stay here. Humph. Why-stay here-might need me to restrain him, especially with how quick he shook off the sedative, and his fighting skill from before on top of their theories. Why am I the disposable one!” 

He started to walk faster then, and began looking around cautiously. 

Steve realized that he had drifted forwards as he listened, and that the STRIKE agent was suspicious, so he took a random path away from him. 

Steve was pretty awful at stealth, had been awful at following people without being noticed, no matter how hard Natasha tried to teach him, and he had probably gotten as much info as he needed. 

Something, probably an animal, had probably been kidnapped, talk of a sedative not working well, and their fighting skill from before, along with talk of security. 

Steve was pretty sure that zoos took in pet animals sometimes, maybe this one had a history of being a fighter? He had heard of dogfighting before...

There was obviously a limit on the space of whatever they were transporting their victim in, if there wasn’t room for everyone, so it was probably a big animal, but Steve had no clue what “their theories,” had to do with their need for security. 

But why would they kidnap an animal? From what he knew, people were mostly kidnapped because either, someone wanted to kill them for one reason or another, or someone wanted something from the victim, or someone related to the victim. 

There was nothing he could think of to warrant kidnapping of an animal from a highly trafficked and protected zoo, especially when there were skilled zookeepers here, who would quickly realize that the animal wasn’t there. 

If someone did, for whatever reason, want to kidnap an animal, it would be so much easier to get it from somewhere else. 

As he walked, thinking, he realized that the alcove that had felt so wrong might have been where the victim had been taken from! 

It was sheltered from the view of any guests of the zoo, but had guest access, so the STRIKE team could go there without any suspicion. It even had access to the passages that the zookeepers used, a good way to take the unconscious victim away, and Bucky had said that one of the people he should check out was a vet, with access to the passages, and probably a lot of sedatives for the animals. 

But that would have to mean that the victim was a person, as it would take far too much effort to take an animal there to kidnap them, but easy (and much more covert) to lure a person there. 

Steve wished he could track scents as easily and innocently as a dog. His sense of smell was probably close to a dog’s, but to properly track anyone, he would have to put his nose to the ground, and that would be very noticeable. 

He wanted to go back to the spot, see if he missed anything, but he had an eidetic memory, and it would probably be suspicious to go back, and that wasn’t even considering his visceral reaction to it. 

He prayed that the victim wouldn’t be harmed yet, he couldn’t go after them, he had no idea where they went, what direction, what kind of vehicle, or even how long ago they had taken them! That STRIKE agent could have been wandering the area for quite a while. 

He needed to get more info, maybe figure out who had been taken. It might have been a guest, but that would require something to lure them to that alcove, and it would probably be easier to do somewhere else, like an alleyway or something. But if it was an employee of the zoo, then they would just need to know when they were coming through that door, information that the suspicious vet could provide. 

He continued wandering near the monkeys, keeping an eye out for any more suspicious activity, and Bucky. 

Steve couldn’t stick with his plan of ignoring Bucky, because he needed to get that information that he wanted to type out on his break, and because now things were serious, and that way he could protect Bucky. 

He knew that Bucky worked the most with mammals, especially the monkeys, so this was the best place to look for him. He didn’t see any other STRIKE team members, but it was possible that either all the rest had gone already, or all of the others were on the transport. 

He would need to contact Fury as well, say that things had escalated, but his evidence was mostly circumstantial, and based on a gut feeling, Fury would never accept that. He needed more information. 

He texted Bucky.

**Steve:Bucky, I could use your help, something is wrong.**

He waited for a minute, then texted again, the bad feeling getting worse.

**Steve:I need the information you had**

**Steve:I think someone was kidnapped from the zoo**

Steve waited for longer, pacing back and forth on the path. 

Maybe Bucky was just busy? He knew that being on your phone during work was a fireable offence in some jobs, but surely not this one. 

But… hadn’t the time for Bucky’s break come and gone? Surely he would have texted Steve… right? 

He decided to go see Jessica, who was Bucky’s friend, and was willing to hide Steve’s presence. 

+-+

“It’s you again!” Jessica said as she walked to the admission booth, “and why do you want to talk to me?” 

“Do you know where Bucky is?” Steve asked. “I wanted to see him today, but he wasn’t where he said he’d be. Did he call in sick today or something?” 

“So you actually became friends?” She said, “good for you! No, he definitely clocked in today, even promised to meet me on our break. Haven’t seen him since, and he wasn’t there on my break. Maybe he got caught up in something.” 

“Thanks for your time,” Steve said, the bad feeling worsening. “I may as well get out of here then, I have errands to run.” 

“Of course!” She said, “see you later!” 

Steve hurried out of the zoo, it was probably Bucky that had been kidnapped, a thought that made a shiver run down his spine, but there was one more person he would go see before he called Fury, just in case he was wrong.

+-+

Steve pressed the buzzer for Bucky’s apartment. 

It buzzed for a bit, then a voice came on the speaker. “Hey, who’s there?” 

“It’s Steve,” he said. “...Bucky’s soulmate.” 

“Well he isn’t here…” Sam said cautiously. 

“That’s the point,” Steve said. 

There was a long pause, and then the door unlocked. 

“Come on up,” Sam said. 

Steve made his way up the stairs, dreading the talk. Sam probably wouldn’t like him for possibly putting Bucky in danger, but it was possible that Sam had an idea of where Bucky could be. 

When he opened the door, Sam was standing there, arms crossed, and eyebrows raised. “What were you saying about Bucky,” he asked, closing the door behind him. 

“It’s complicated,” Steve said. “And definitely not how I wanted to meet you after everything Bucky said about you. Bucky’s missing.” 

“And how do you know that he isn’t just ignoring his phone, maybe distracted?” Sam asked, “he’s a grown ass man, he doesn’t need you following him around like a child.” 

“The whole reason that I went to the zoo in the first place,” Steve said. “Is because I was sent on a mission. It was mostly to keep an eye out for suspicious activity, and a few certain people, but we were pretty sure that something off was going on. 

Just this morning, I told him why I went to the zoo in the first place, and he told me that he had seen some weird things and was suspicious, told me to check out a certain employee. He told me that he was going to text me the whole thing on his break. 

The next thing is a little bit more unbelievable, but I’ve always had a very accurate gut feeling, and it only got better after the serum. I went to the entrance to one of the zookeeper areas, where it was easy to keep things out of everyone else’s view, and had a very bad feeling.” 

“And how accurate are those feelings?” Sam asked suspiciously. “And when are those feelings wrong?” 

“During the war, I had a bad feeling, while we were in enemy territory, and only an hour later, we got ambushed by a team that had been tracking us,” Steve said. “And the only times that it’s been wrong is soon after a nightmare or something, and I haven’t had one in a few days. 

Anyway, only a little bit later, I saw one of the people I was keeping an eye out for, and he was muttering things under his breath. He mentioned something about sedating someone, and keeping them under control, figured pretty quick that someone had probably been taken by them. 

I texted Bucky because I needed the rest of the info he had, but he didn’t answer, and it had been long past his break at that point. I checked with Jessica, and she said that he had promised to hang out with her during her break, and that he hadn’t showed up, but he had definitely clocked in.” 

“So you think that Bucky was kidnapped,” Sam deadpanned. 

“Yes!” Steve said, “and they would have plenty of reason to if they were doing something unscrupulous. If they found out that he had suspicions about them, or if they somehow found out that I’m his soulmate, then he could be a target.” 

“But why did you come to me?” Sam asked, dropping his stern look, now looking worried. 

“Because I needed to make sure that there wasn’t any other reason he could be missing before I called my commander,” Steve said. “But also because, from what Bucky said, you’re a pretty awesome person, and you’re military to boot. Figured you’d be… probably less likely to panic.” 

“You’d better call that commander of yours then,” Sam said. “If it’s a false alarm, it’s a false alarm, but I’m not letting Bucky get captured again, it fucked him up pretty bad last time.” 

“Last time?” Steve asked, heart dropping to his stomach. 

“Call your commander American boy,” Sam said. “I might tell you once you’re off your phone.” 


	18. Animals must have enrichment in captivity, or they will become aggressive and anxious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky wakes up

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/7wxf.png)

Bucky’s head spun. What had happened? 

He cracked an eye open, and was met with a bright light, piercing into his brain. 

His stomach lurched, but he focused on the rest of his body to hopefully calm his stomach. He was lying down on something hard, and there were… restraints on him, tying him to the table. He didn’t have a shirt on, but his pants were still on. 

His heart started to pound, his breathing starting to get faster, remembering what had happened. 

He had been kidnapped, taken by the same people who had taken his cubs, and Matthew was in on it. 

Where was he? Why had he been taken? Had they figured out that Bucky knew something was up? 

“He’s awake,” came a voice from beside him. Bucky blinked rapidly so his eyes would adjust, and as his vision cleared, he saw the room. 

It was a lab, with monitors and machines everywhere, ready for all kinds of horrible experiments. 

A door opened somewhere, and a doctor walked in. It was the same doctor that had worked on him when he had been captured the first time! How was that possible?! 

Bucky’s breath started coming in faster, he was at the mercy of this doctor again, like he hadn’t escaped at all. 

“So his spirit mark did start moving,” the doctor said, putting on some gloves. 

“Yes Doctor List,” one of the soldiers said. 

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he said drolly. “Hmm, and now you’ve actually met him. I suppose that him being frozen might freeze the mark, but that doesn’t happen in most cases of people in comas.” 

He knew?! He knew that Bucky’s soulmate was Steve?! But they had tried so hard to keep it secret, and he knew that none of the people that he had told would have told anyone else anything about it! Becca may be annoying, but she loved him. 

He wanted to demand answers, but his mouth wouldn’t open, his throat tight. 

Doctor List prodded the monkey curled up on his shoulder, and called to one of the assistants that had drifted in. 

“Would you get a scalpel, I want you to make a small cut every fifteen minutes, and record all the data you can about the healing process.” 

“Of course doctor List,” a small brunette said. 

Then a small precise cut was made low on his rib cage, it hurt, but was easy to brush off. What did they want from him? Why did they kidnap him for this? 

“You wouldn’t happen to have any information about your soulmate would you?” Doctor List asked casually. “It is not our first priority here, but it could be useful for later parts of our plan.” 

Bucky couldn’t gather the air to say anything, not even to tell him to fuck off. He remembered the pain that his guys had suffered, dying slow and horribly, without any kind of acknowledgement by the doctor except to write it down and go on to the next poor sod. This doctor had done all that, and had escaped with no repercussions, so he could do it all over again. 

But Steve would rescue him, he had already been investigating the zoo, he would probably know soon that Bucky had disappeared. All he had to do was stay here, not break, and wait for a possible opening to escape or contact Steve somehow. 

It would be harder this time though, he had been rescued last time because someone left their phone too close to him when he was alone in a room, so he had managed to contact someone. They wouldn’t let that happen again. 

He wasn’t getting shots though, all that was happening was a basic examination, but with that one doctor occasionally cutting him with a scalpel. He vaguely remembered an examination like this (minus the scalpel) when he had first been captured. A baseline. 

Eventually, the examination ended, and the soldiers came forward. “Put him in with assets 18 and 19 for now,” doctor List said as he left the room. 

“But sir,” one of the soldiers said. “Assets 18 and 19 are very dangerous, and there are no other assets with what we need!” 

“I didn’t say to not take him out if he might die,” the doctor said, rolling his eyes. “But we could probably use a handler that can keep up with them, and from what Matthew told us, he was the one that trained them in the first place.” 

Then he walked away, and the soldiers began to unstrap him from the table, keeping a gun on him at all times, and having several soldiers surround him, which was a bit overkill. 

They all had combat armour and multiple weapons, and Bucky only had one arm! And, he realized as he was pulled to his feet, he was also quite dizzy and had a headache. He definitely wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. 

They dragged him down the hall, and one of the soldiers, one of the ones that had kidnapped him said, “don’t worry, we’ll pull you out if you start getting chewed on. We won’t be in a hurry though, those monsters are vicious.” 

He showed Bucky a deep claw mark on his hand, healed quite a bit, but still very obvious. It was pretty large, probably a larger predator of some kind… 

Without warning, he was shoved into a large room behind a metal door, it closing behind him with a clang, and the cuts on his rib cage burned as he tumbled in. 

The room was dim, but there was a bright light near the door and… nothing else. 

The animals were probably hiding in the dim corners, but there was nothing for them to play with, nothing for them to hide behind in the room. 

He sat up slowly, careful to not make any unexpected movements in case the animal actually was aggressive. 

With how they treated Bucky, it was likely that they hurt whatever animals were in here though, so they attacked because they were scared, and possibly because they were bored. 

Then there was a soft not quite growl, and something crept out of the shadows. 

It was a snow leopard, another one following close behind it, and… he suddenly remembered what he had been told before he passed out, that he would find out where the “tigers” went. 

Was this Misty and Foggy? 

The one in front flared it’s nostrils, and then ran towards him, followed by the one behind. 

Bucky braced himself, ready for them to attack, but suddenly his arms were full, and his mouth was full of fluff. 

It must have been Misty that jumped up on him, who was now licking and butting her head up against his jaw and face, paddling her paws against him, frantically trying to get deeper into his lap. 

Then another form shoved it’s way between him and Misty, it was Foggy, trying to get her share of the love, somehow managing to squirm her head between them, making little mewling sounds. She unfortunately shoved her skull into his still healing cuts from the scalpel, and Bucky fell backwards in surprise and pain. 

They both got off him quickly, but then curled around him, one to each side, purring and licking the sides of his face. 

“Oh my god,” Bucky said out loud, despite the fact that they were alone. “You two got so big! I can’t believe you’re actually here!” 

Foggy made a little mrrring sound, as if she was answering him, and cuddled tighter into where his arm was missing. He laughed softly, a sob escaping him as his babies each put one leg over him, maybe so he wouldn’t escape again. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks, quickly licked up by rough tongues. They were here! His two babies that he thought he had lost forever were here with him, almost like he had never left, piling on top of him like they had never grown up. 

But they hadn't been cared for properly, he realized. Not only was their cage bare of anything to play with, but he could feel their ribs so much easier than he ever could, and there was little fat on their bodies. 

There was a large bowl of water on the other side of the room, but nothing else. 

No wonder they were vicious with the soldiers here, they had nothing else to do! And if they were subjected to the same kind of medical treatment that Bucky was… when he got out of here, he would make sure that none of them got away with it. 


	19. Parrots will selflessly help each other out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve asks for help (finally)

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/axd3.png)

The phone call with Fury hadn’t exactly gone well. 

Steve had only mentioned that one of the zookeepers had become a friend and knew that something weird was going on at the zoo, but before he could say anything about it, he had been kidnapped. 

Fury had told him that they couldn’t do anything. “We have no clue what’s going on,” he had said. “That’s why we sent you there in the first place. And it’s not like your information is very solid. I’ll pass along a description to the others, but we can’t do anything about this now.” 

“He hasn’t been answering my texts,” Sam said as Steve walked into the room. “And I even called him, and he knows that calls are only for emergencies. It looks like you might be right. But why didn’t you tell your commander that he’s your soulmate?” Sam asked, “it might make them more likely to search.” 

“Fury’s very… practical,” Steve said, pushing down the panic. “Very much believes in “the ends justify the means,” and can be very manipulative. He would probably do just about anything to have a soulmate boosted super soldier, especially a soulmate that can fight. Unless I get the feeling that Fury’s hiding info from me about Bucky because he thinks that’s not important, I’m not giving him that information.” 

“Smart thinking,” Sam said. “But what can we do now?” 

“I have a few other possibilities,” Steve said, trying to think of something actually useful. “Tony will probably have an idea of something I can do, and the others that are investigating this might have something that will help.” 

“Is there anything I can do?” Sam asked, “and should I tell his family about this? Because if this is a secret mission…” 

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “I guess… don’t say anything about what I suspect? I mean, it’d probably be more suspicious if you didn’t try to search for him.” 

Sam looked at him critically and said, “that probably is for the best. But if you get new information don’t hesitate to update me, even if it’s not great. Let me give you my number,” he said beckoning for Steve’s phone. 

Once he got the phone back, he texted a quick hi. Sam’s phone dinged, and once he checked it said, “now go see what you can do to save your boy.” 

Steve made his way out of the apartment, and went to the tower. 

He knew that Sam had forgotten to tell Steve about the first time that Bucky had been kidnapped, but he didn’t want to hear it. 

If it wasn’t for Steve, Bucky wouldn’t have gotten kidnapped. Bucky had clearly been gathering information on suspicious things in the zoo for quite a while, and he hadn’t gotten kidnapped until just a few days after Bucky had met him, he had felt like he was being watched while with Bucky once or twice, but had assumed that it was because they were just staring at someone meeting their soulmate. 

He knew that only a few months ago, Pepper had been kidnapped, purely so her kidnapper could have leverage over Tony, distract him and make him vulnerable. It may be a classic movie trope, but that didn’t make it any less effective. 

But even if Bucky’s captors didn’t know that they were soulmates, it would still be Steve’s fault. He had come snooping around the zoo, and he knew that he was terrible at blending in, and the STRIKE team-who he was investigating for God's sake!-knew exactly what he looked like, both in the suit and out. 

If they knew that someone was snooping around, and that the person who they knew was investigating things had started to talk with that snooper… it would be a good strategic move to take one of them-the most vulnerable one-so they couldn’t conspire. 

Why did everyone who cared for him disappear? It was like everyone who he cared for disappeared so soon, but Bucky had just disappeared much quicker than the others. 

What if Bucky resented him for that, he thought, making it in the doors of Stark Tower. Bucky barely knew him, and he had gotten Bucky kidnapped. Now Bucky had been kidnapped twice, and the first time had “fucked him up pretty bad”. 

He walked briskly to the “Avengers'' elevator that Tony had shown him. He couldn’t show the fear and worry to anyone who saw Captain America, who was supposed to be an inspiring figure, someone to depend on. 

It was possible, he thought, asking JARVIS to take him to the floor that Tony was on. That Bucky might not be worried about being kidnapped, he had been captured before, so it might be easier, he might be more used to it. On the other hand, it might make it worse. 

He had never been afraid of drowning before the ice, (only not being able to breathe, and that was a vague fear from just having asthma) and now… he had nightmares of drowning in icy water often, could barely stand a cold shower for a few seconds before he bolted out of it. Maybe being captured before only would have shown Bucky how bad it could be. 

“Your floor Captain Rogers,” JARVIS said, the elevator doors opening to show a large room like a living room, with Tony and Pepper cuddling on a couch together. 

He was interrupting them, he realized, and he had no clue what to say. 

He had come to Tony hoping that he would have advice on finding a soulmate-couldn’t you track your soulmate through the bond? He had seen that in a few movies and stories-or maybe Tony could use his technology for something. 

Then Tony and Pepper seemed to notice him, and got up. “What’s up Cap?” Tony asked. 

Steve was frozen in place. He couldn’t move, and it was harder to breathe. 

_He had no clue what to say._

What would he do, just burst out with the fact that he had met his actual soulmate, contrary to what Howard had believed and probably told stories of-and Tony _hated_ mentions of his father, especially when Steve said them- _what was he thinking-_ and say that he had gotten his soulmate kidnapped within _a few days of meeting him!_

His vision blurred as Tony moved closer, saying “Cap? Are… you ok? You aren’t going to explode or anything right?” 

And he barely knew Tony, and now he was asking for crazy technology help, when they had just barely gotten over being enemies-Tony and Pepper were now by each shoulder, and Pepper had her hand on his, and their voices were sounding more and more like gibberish-and Tony would probably expect him to have a _plan_ , because that was what Captain America was good for, fighting and making _plans_ , but it was all he could do to not _collapse_ -he couldn’t keep his breaths from sawing in and out of his lungs- _it was asthma all over again_ -and he was only still standing because his knees were locked and his throat was tight and his eyes burned with tears and his head was spinning and his knees weren’t holding him anymore and _the world went dark._

+-+

Steve woke up slowly, a pounding ache in his head, his face tight from… it had to be tears. 

What had happened? 

He was laying on a comfy couch, a blanket draped over him, a soft murmur of voices in the distance. 

Then another voice chimed in, saying, “Captain Rogers is awake sir.” 

“Hey Cap,” was it Tony? Said. Steve opened his eyes, seeing Tony in front of him, looking worried, his hair messed up like he had been running his fingers through it. 

“You worried us,” Pepper said, walking into view, looking polished as ever. 

“What happened?” Steve asked, confused. 

“We don’t know,” Pepper said. “We were hoping that you could tell us.” 

“I can jog your memory,” Tony said. “JARVIS said that you wanted to see me, but when the elevator doors opened you froze up and started breathing heavily. We talked to you, but you didn’t respond, and then you fainted. JARVIS said that it was probably a panic attack.” 

Steve remembered, he had come here to see if Tony could help, because-because Bucky had been kidnapped. 

And he had fainted. 

Just swooned, like one of those dames in the Victorian novels that they had read in school. 

He hid his face in his hands, but he knew that he had to tell Tony, he needed to rescue Bucky. 

“What happened buddy?” Tony asked, “you don’t have to tell me, but is there anything we can do to help?” 

“I came here because I needed your help,” Steve mumbled. “I…” 

He took his face out of his hands, he needed to make sure that Tony knew that he wasn’t joking, needed to look Tony in the eyes. 

“You have to promise that you won’t interrupt,” he said. If he got interrupted he would probably cry… or maybe he’d cry anyway. 

“I promise,” Tony said, meeting his eyes, and looking more serious than he had ever seen him. 

Steve gathered up the remaining shreds of his composure, and began to talk. “Peggy wasn’t actually my soulmate, we just said that we were so that the media wouldn’t tear us, and especially her, to pieces. 

I met my soulmate at the zoo a few days ago, and we started talking, but I told him why I was at the zoo in the first place, and he told me that he had been investigating the zoo too, and he had seen some suspicious things, but he told me that he would tell me them later, because he wasn’t on his break, and-and,” Steve said, gasping for air, his throat tight. 

“And then he didn’t text when he said he would, and someone got kidnapped from the zoo, and he wasn’t anywhere, and he wouldn’t answer his texts, and I even checked with the friend that he lives with, and-and,” he said, gasping for the air that he needed to finish this, fighting the tears. 

“And it’s my fault he got kidnapped!” 

All he could do was sob, choking on air, shaking the blanket off of him with the effort. 

“Hey,” Tony said, moving forwards, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s ok, just cry it out.” 

Steve cried for a long time, until his face was tight with tears, and his throat ached. 

“Why do you think that it’s your fault?” Tony asked softly. 

“I met him, and just days later, he got kidnapped,” Steve said dully. “It’s that simple.” 

“Correlation does not equal causation,” Tony said firmly. “And even if they did kidnap him because you came around, that doesn’t mean that it was your fault. They are the ones that chose to kidnap him, you did not kidnap him, so it is not your fault.” 

Of course it was his fault, but arguing with Tony would only delay Bucky getting rescued. 

“I need your help because I have no clue where to look,” Steve said. “I told Fury that one of my informants disappeared, but he didn’t have any idea as to what I could do to find him. I thought that you might have more information?” 

“Where did he get kidnapped from?” Tony asked, “because I can probably hack the police report, and depending on what they find, I can possibly cross reference it to the minimal information that I found.” 

“That won’t work,” Steve said. “Because there won’t be a police report. I only figured out that someone was kidnapped because of my enhanced senses and instincts, and only knew that it was Bucky because he disappeared.” 

“Can you elaborate?” Pepper asked, sharing a look with Tony. “And how do you know that Bucky disappeared because he was kidnapped?” 

“Since the serum my senses are better than anyone,” Steve said. “And my gut feeling got even more precise, even managed to predict an ambush during the war. 

I found somewhere at the zoo that would be perfect to ambush someone, knock them out, and had a very bad feeling about it, worse than any other bad gut feeling I’ve ever had. Then I saw one of the minor agents from STRIKE walk by, saying something about sedatives, and how there was someone that needed to be restrained on a journey. 

And I couldn’t find Bucky, and the friend he had his lunches with hadn’t seen him since he came in, and I even checked with his friend that he lives with, and even though we both contacted him multiple times, he didn’t answer. 

Besides,” Steve said, trying to use his Captain America voice, “if I’m somehow wrong, then all we waste is some time.” 

“Fair enough,” Tony said. 

+-+

Both Tony and Pepper had insisted that he stay on the couch, Pepper giving him a warm cup of tea, and Tony immediately going to a screen in the middle of the room, and giving orders to JARVIS. 

“Tony?” Steve asked quietly. “Is… is there no way to find your soulmate just because they’re your soulmate?” 

“You mean knowing where the other is?” Tony asked, “there isn’t anything like that. I wish there was, but there isn’t.” 

Steve sank deeper into the couch, taking another sip of tea. “Just thought I’d ask,” he said. 

Pepper grabbed the blanket that had fallen off the couch, and placed it around his shoulders, patting him on the back. “We will find him,” she said. “I know it may seem impossible, but Tony is very good at this. If there are any clues as to where Bucky is, he will find them. And I’ve proved to be quite good at parsing through information myself.” 

Steve tried to smile, but a nasty headache was blooming, the quickly moving lights from the TV screen piercing his eyes. 

“You look like you could use a nap,” she said, changing topics easily. 

“No thanks,” Steve said. “I’d rather not miss anything important.” 

“Steve.” She said more firmly, “if we do find enough information to go after him, then you will need all the rest you can get, so you can rescue him easier.” 

“I’m a super soldier,” Steve said sharply. “And it’s not like I’m going to break, I’m not delicate!” 

“I didn’t say you were,” Pepper said calm, but firm. “I personally have experienced that panic myself, and though it wasn’t as bad as that one, I do know that it was awful.” 

“You…” Steve said, confused. 

“Yes,” she said. “And Tony too, it’s not exactly uncommon with the lives we live. I know for a fact that I always feel better after a cup of tea, a nap and a snack. I know you’re exhausted, so at least try to sleep. Just because you’re a super soldier, doesn’t mean you’re invulnerable.” 

Steve felt chastised, and sat back a little, putting the teacup on the little side table. 

She was right, he was exhausted, his head muzzy and aching. He couldn’t help them at all if he wasn’t in top form. 

Pepper patted his shoulder and went to sit down next to Tony, leaving him room to lay down, which he didn’t take. But their voices got fuzzier anyway, and he drifted off.

+-+

Steve woke slowly, hearing murmurs of voices in the background. The room was dimmer, and his head didn’t ache as much, but he was starving. 

His neck cracked as he straightened it, pulling the blanket off of him. 

His stomach rumbled loudly, and Pepper came over, a box of crackers in her hand. 

“You’re awake!” She said with a smile. “We actually got a lead, so we have a better idea of where to start now. 

But,” she continued sternly. “You have to eat the whole box of crackers before you go out of the tower.” 

“Fill me in while I eat,” Steve said, opening the box and heading to the screen. 

He did feel better after his nap, and now they had a lead on where Bucky might be! 

“Ok,” Tony said, gesturing to a map on the screen. “I managed to partially hack in to Rumlow’s phone, I couldn’t get much because we’re on a time crunch, and SHIELD is pretty good at making a phone hard to hack, but he placed a call from the zoo at approximately the time that he would have to be there for you to notice the lackey wandering around-“ 

“And where did you get that information?” Pepper asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I grabbed his SHIELD phone and took his location and the times off that. It was better than interrupting a post panic attack nap,” he said with a wide eyed innocent look at Pepper. 

That meant… that Tony at least wasn’t tracking him. It clearly would have been easy, but he didn’t. It was a strange kind of comfort. 

Pepper sighed, but gestured for him to continue. “Anyway, the call went to, get this, one of the locations that the others were investigating! Natasha was the one investigating that one, so I contacted her. She had apparently been going on a food run when they should have arrived, but she said that it probably wasn’t impossible that they could have run him in quickly, especially because it’s an actual lab, so there are actual people working there, so cars are going in and out all the time.” 

“So we could find Bucky today?” Steve asked, relief slowly dripping into his belly. 

“Natasha needs to figure out how we’ll do this,” Tony said. “So it might have to wait until night or something, but yeah, it’s happening. Suit up Captain, we’re heading out.”


	20. Any animal with a brain can be trained by humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky finds some information (and some hope)

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/c2h8.png)

Bucky woke up. 

He was warm and cosy, fluff in his nose, and two heavy warm weights on his chest, pressing him into the hard floor. 

He opened his eyes to Misty’s head on his chest, a soft tail in his face. 

He was in the cell, he remembered. And he was reunited with Misty and Foggy, but they were not being treated right. 

Then he heard multiple footsteps in the hallway, heavy and sharp. 

Misty and Foggy immediately got to their paws, starting to growl lowly, tensing. 

Bucky sat up, and gently began to pet at them. He had been captured before, and he knew that them protecting him wouldn’t do them any good. 

He remembered trying to stop them from taking Jimmy, who had been sick and in pain, arguing that they might get better results if he got better first. They had taken Jimmy then, taken Bucky too, made him listen to Jimmy scream, listen to him hallucinating being home, then slowly quieting until he was dead. 

He couldn’t let them hurt Misty and Foggy, they wanted  _ him,  _ and he would make sure their attention stayed on him. 

When the door opened, they growled, but stayed back, cautious and scared. What had they done to his babies? 

The soldiers hauled him out, pulling him to the lab again as his heart beat faster. As they went into the lab, he smelt cleaning supplies and antiseptic, and it made his breath catch in his throat. 

He was hauled towards a… treadmill? Why was something like that here? 

They shoved him on the thing, and multiple soldiers crowded around him, keeping him from getting off. 

Then Doctor List came into the room, saying, “start the machine up, make sure it increases steadily.” 

As Bucky stood up, he realized that there wasn’t a control panel on the treadmill, but it was connected to the computers in the room. One of the assistants typed something on the computer, and the treadmill began to move. 

Bucky started walking, but the speed increased steadily, him having to start jogging a minute later. 

He had no clue why they were doing this, somehow he doubted that they were concerned about experimenting with workout effectiveness. The treadmill smelled like old sweat, drowning out the lab scents, and calming Bucky’s fear. 

“Why are you doing this?” He asked conversationally, “is this my designated exercise time before I go back in my cell?” 

The soldiers rolled their eyes, but Doctor List smirked. 

“I’m glad you asked,” he said smugly. “I need to test your speed and stamina, see how you compare to Captain America, the original super soldier.” 

Bucky stumbled, the mention of Steve making his heart kick up a beat. 

“Why would you want to compare us,” Bucky said, casually as he could manage. “It’s not like I’ll be anywhere close to him.” 

“And that’s where you're wrong,” Doctor List said, as the treadmill picked up speed, Bucky starting to run properly now. “Right now you are running at forty miles an hour, the average top running speed of a normal human, usually only able to be used for seconds at a time, and yet, here you are, keeping at that speed easily. I had my suspicions that my first experiments worked, but now I have the proof right here in front of me!” 

The treadmill started to go faster, Bucky’s breath starting to catch in his lungs, only partially because of the exertion. 

“My goal with my initial experiments in the desert,” he continued. “Was to recreate the super soldier serum, enhanced strength, speed, healing, and so much more! And here is the proof that I was looking for!” 

The super soldier serum, Bucky thought. Like what Steve had. 

But he remembered Steve saying how careful he had to be, how cautious, just to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone. 

“That doesn’t make sense,” he gasped. “It’s not like I’m breaking everything around me, lifting crazy heavy things.” 

“Maybe not,” Doctor List said, starting to pace. “But it comes down to the differences I think. Any subjects that survived the serum never showed any signs of enhancement, only insanity that would have made them impossible to control even if they had been enhanced, but we destroyed them soon after. 

But you,” he said gleefully. “You escaped, and now you have the enhancements. Everyone had thought that the vita rays were more important than they were, but it seemed that they only sped up the process.” 

The treadmill’s speed steadied out, not getting any faster, Bucky’s lungs starting to burn. He had run after he had gotten home of course, but he hadn’t tried very hard, not wanting to get off balance and fall down, he had been wobbly enough just walking. 

He peeked at the display on the computer, showing a speed of… 55 kilometres an hour?! There was no way! 

“It actually makes sense,” Doctor List said, Bucky tuning back in. Any info was good info, he needed to know what he was capable of. 

“As radiation often kills cells, and super soldier cells are resistant to radiation. The vita rays would have killed off the non serumed cells, making it easier for those cells to spread. But without those cells, it would have to wait until the normal cells died off, making it take much longer to become enhanced. And that would even explain why you didn’t know you were enhanced!” He said, now talking to Bucky instead of himself. 

This was a villain monologue, he realized. Doctor List was doing an actual, superhero movie villain monologue! He had the sudden urge to burst out laughing, but his lungs were aching enough, and he doubted they would stop the treadmill if he stumbled. 

“Because it would happen gradually, like not knowing that you are growing until you grow out of your clothes. It’s a shame that your healing didn’t work on the missing arm though, might need to fix that some other way…” 

Bucky couldn’t help but think back, remembering how he had healed from being captured so quickly, how he hadn’t gotten sick since he got back, only head and body aches from stress and missing an arm… 

He was still running, breath heaving in and out, his legs aching, but still running at his top speed like it was easy. 

No wonder he was constantly surrounded by soldiers, if he could out speed them all easily, then how simple would it be for him to push them down and bolt for it? 

Eventually he began to get the bitter taste in his mouth that meant that he was getting close to done, stumbling a bit more at the speed, all his focus on not stopping, keeping on until it stopped. 

Then it did stop, but in his daze he continued running, tripping and tumbling down, scraping everything on the surface of the treadmill. 

Once his head stopped spinning, he opened his eyes to see multiple soldiers pointing their guns at him. 

They were afraid, he realized. Afraid of  _ him.  _ Afraid of what he could do to them.

“What are we doing next?” Bucky asked, feeling braver. “Are we playing murder all the guards next?” 

Then one of the soldiers hit him with something, and pain burned through his side. 

It was electricity, coursing through him, making his already aching muscles convulse, and he couldn’t help the scream that burst from his throat. It burnt through his body like fire, but eventually it stopped. 

He panted for air, barely pushing down the urge to throw up, pressing his face into the cool vinyl flooring. 

Easy to clean, he thought distantly. 

Then they started to drag him somewhere, his head clearing quickly, slowly gaining control of his muscles again. 

He sat up once he was released, seeing what kind of looked like the weight room at his high school, but the weights were a lot bigger. And… were they chained to the floor? 

“Start with the smaller ones,” doctor List said from the loudspeaker in the tiny room. 

Probably so he wouldn’t go after him, now that he had a weapon of sorts. There were still soldiers surrounding him though. 

“And what if I don’t,” Bucky said, testing his lenience. If he was important to their plans somehow, then he wasn’t disposable, he had power. 

“Then I will make sure you get punished again,” List said. “But on a much higher power level. Even if my testing gets delayed, I still have all the time in the world to finish them.” 

“Fine,” Bucky called, getting up. He needed to know how strong he was, know his limits so he could get out of here more easily. 

And maybe he could get more information out of the doctor too, he had talked so easily when Bucky had been running, and now he would actually have the breath to ask questions. 

It started pretty easy, the weights light and… this was fifty pounds? He really was enhanced! 

“Then why did you need the animals?” Bucky asked, moving to the next one, “don’t think I didn’t notice that the same people who kidnapped me were also the ones that took the baby snow leopards, that, coincidentally, also happen to be here.” 

“It was needed,” List said. “Animals are not nearly as rebellious, not as sneaky, and don’t have any pesky morals to get in the way of killing for us. Not to mention, most of them are easier to keep contained, and no one will come looking for them. 

I had hoped to get the serum in a human first, have a perfect soldier to do our bidding, but you made that impossible. I decided to cut our losses, keep an eye on you, but move to animals. 

It worked very well, and in some ways, better than any human soldier. No one expects-or can fight properly-two snow leopards coming for them with enhanced strength and speed.” 

He was talking about Misty and Foggy, he realized. They had been subjected to this monster’s experiments, had been trained to kill for this organization. 

If it ever got out, they would probably be put down. He knew very well that predators that had gotten a taste for human meat would only be more likely to kill a human later on, and they were also enhanced for good measure. He had to make sure that no one knew about that. 

“But why take me?” Bucky questioned as he picked up another weight, this one a bit of a strain at… four hundred pounds?! 

“If having snow leopards is that useful, that effective, then why did you take me? An intelligent human that will be missed, and is more likely to escape?” 

“It’s because of that intelligence,” Doctor List said. “While they are certainly skilled, and incredibly useful in the field, animals do not have the tactical flexibility that humans have. 

Humans can plan on the fly, adjust to changing circumstances while still following orders. They can also follow much more nuanced orders, tell time, and be given information on the target. 

Their intelligence and memory has been enhanced, yes, but they are nowhere near a humans capacity, so they need handlers. But the handlers we have given them are often attacked after a mission, and with the enhancements, that was very dangerous. 

You were the one that trained them, that took the place of their mother for a time, so they would listen to you. And my theory has even been proven, with them not even attempting to attack you, even though you were left in their cell, and even fell asleep there! You are the perfect handler for them!” 

Bucky’s heart stopped. They would use him to hurt his babies more, to keep them under tighter control! 

“And how do you plan on making me do that?” He asked. He couldn’t let on how worried he was, they would pounce on that weakness in a second. 

“You will see,” List said. “But soon you will be loyal to us alone!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, a super villain monologue is realistic. Imagine not being able to brag about an absolutely genius plan that you made because it has to be secret to work. The moment you get someone in front of you that has to listen, and won’t be getting away to expose that plan, you would ramble on forever about all the intricacies and genius of your plan right? Right?


	21. Leopards, despite being around 200 pounds, can get within four meters of its prey without being detected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets some more information

  
[Link to picture](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/qvt0.png)

Steve was jittery as he and Tony got into Tony’s private jet. They were going to an airport outside DC, then just a quick drive to the lab on the outskirts of the city. 

They would have to wait for a while so they could sneak in when it was dark, so most of the civilian scientists would probably be gone, but then Bucky would be there, and then he could keep Bucky safe. 

But as the plane took off, he could have sworn they were going the wrong way, just a little bit off, but unsettling nonetheless. It was probably because he was used to going on the subway to go see Bucky at the zoo, and his general dislike of airplanes. 

During the flight, he kept himself distracted by going over the blueprints, calculating the possible choke points, easy places to sneak in. And if they were working in a civilian lab, they would need a secret place to keep Bucky, so he began looking for places where secret rooms could be placed, places where they would have the room to keep Bucky discretely. 

He remembered the Howlies when he had rescued them, five of them crowded into a tiny cell, barely enough room for them to all sit down, the smell of fear so thick that he could taste it, the rows upon rows of prisoners… 

No. Bucky would be rescued by him soon, and even if it was that awful, he wouldn’t be there for much longer. 

+-+

By the time they got to the restaurant that Natasha had agreed to meet them at, Steve felt like he was going to shake himself to pieces. 

Tony looked at him softly and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s going to be ok,” he said. “Even if he isn’t here, we will find him, I promise. And when we get him back, you guys can stay in the tower for as long as you want so you can get back to normal.” 

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve said, feeling a little calmer. 

They walked in, wearing slightly grungy clothes as a disguise, Tony with his face tucked into his oversized sweater to disguise his distinctive facial hair. 

Natasha wasn’t there, so they grabbed a booth and sat down. Steve felt too nauseous to eat much, so when the waitress arrived at their table, he ordered an apple juice for the sugar content, to keep him energized enough. 

Then a lady sat at their table, she had curly dark brown hair, framing her face, a hot pink sundress with small white flowers on it, and… eyes the same shape and color as Natasha’s, even though the shape of her face was wrong. 

“Natasha?” he asked cautiously. 

“Good job,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “You caught on faster than most people.” 

“Well…” Tony said, his eyes wide, “if I didn’t know better I would say you were a shapeshifter!” 

“So you met your soulmate,” she said, turning to Steve. “I have to say, you did a good job of convincing people that Peggy was your soulmate.” 

“That isn’t important right now,” Steve said. “What’s important is rescuing my actual soulmate. I’ve got some possibilities for where secret rooms could be-“

+-+

A couple hours later, they were sitting in their rental vehicle, only a couple of miles from the lab on a side road. 

Tony was set up to control the security footage, making sure that they wouldn’t be seen, because they had no clue how many people were in on this, and it was always better to be unexpected if possible. 

Steve and Natasha had changed into combat uniforms: dark, with lots of protection. 

They crept across the fields, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary, because Natasha had said that there were cameras inside and outside, and security guards patrolling a short way away from the building, but if they had an important prisoner, they might up the security. 

They made it to the roof of the building without seeing any extra guards, and without being seen themselves. 

It felt too easy. 

The building was mostly quiet, only a few doors with lights behind them, but the scientists still in the building stayed in their rooms, often with music on speaker, covering any tiny unavoidable noises that they made. 

They even peeked in a few rooms to judge the size, but they seemed accurate to the blueprints they had. Natasha said that there was probably a server room in the basement, where they could get more information, so the route they went was meant to end in the basement. There didn’t seem to be any secret rooms, and the rooms that were closed with more sophisticated locks were all small. 

There were only three floors and a basement, so it was quick to clear, but on the ground floor, they came across a locked hallway. This was probably where they were keeping Bucky! 

Natasha pulled a small piece of metal and held it up to the card reader. They waited for a second, and the reader beeped, a tiny green light turning on, and the door unlocked. 

They slipped inside carefully, just in case anyone was there, but the hall was eerily silent.

A few more of the doors in the hall were locked, but all that was behind them were machines and lab benches, computers and full filing cabinets. None of them had anything that indicated that there had ever been a prisoner in here. 

Steve went over the blueprint in his head again, trying to remember if there was any room for… anything. Maybe a secret room, a secret passageway, anything that might indicate that Bucky was here. 

There was nothing, and Natasha gently steered him out of the hall, locking the door behind her. 

Bucky had to be in the basement then, it would be easier for them to hide a room there anyway. 

They opened the door, but before they went down, Steve heard someone hurrying up the stairs, grumbling to themselves about having to back up their research so often and paranoid doctors. 

Steve pulled Natasha around a corner, narrowly missing the scientist storming up the stairs, both of them holding their breaths and hoping that their meagre cover would be enough. 

Steve could easily take her down of course, but the less they were seen, the better it would be for Bucky. 

Once she had rushed past without even looking around herself, Steve and Natasha eased around the corner, and headed down again. 

The basement was chilly, and they made their way to the server room quickly so they could download the research while they searched for Bucky. 

The server room was enormous, filled with computers and giant towers of electronic things that Steve didn’t recognize, but Natasha seemed to know where to go. She placed larger than normal USB sticks in some of the ports, walking along the rows, carefully deciding where she should place them. 

Then, without taking her eyes off her work, she said, “Go look for your soulmate. But if you hear someone coming, you  _ have  _ to tell me.” 

“I promise,” Steve said, and headed out of the room as quickly as he could. 

He checked the rooms first, looking for anything weird, and knocking on the walls around the edge, listening for hollowness in the noise. The rooms were mostly storage, so it was annoying to get to the walls, but he made his way through them steadily. 

With every new room that had nothing important, his chest tightened, his entire body shaking with unused adrenaline. 

And then he came into the last room, a freezer filled with small flasks and containers. 

He checked the entire outer wall for secret rooms, looked into every corner of the other rooms, and this room fit perfectly into where it was supposed to be, no room for even a crawl space between this and the other rooms. 

Bucky wasn’t here. 

He clamped down on the urge to scream and punch the wall. He couldn’t make it obvious that they had been here, and a giant hole in the wall would make it very obvious. 

Was he shaking from the adrenaline or the cold? 

Natasha came into the room and gently pulled him towards the stairs. 

“The download has finished,” she said calmly. “Tony should already be going through it, all we have to do is get out without being caught. If we get caught, then your chances of rescuing Bucky goes down dramatically, if they know that someone is into them, everything will be that much harder.” 

Steve had to  _ focus _ , maybe this information would tell them where he could find Bucky, he could still see him soon, they just had to make it out of here without being caught. 

The trip outside and through the fields was a blur, but Natasha seemed to have a sixth sense for when he wasn’t focusing, and would tug on his hand to keep his attention. 

They made it to the car where Tony was waiting, the bright light of his laptop easily showing the way. 

“Did you find anything on Bucky?” Steve asked, sharper than he intended. 

“Not yet,” Tony said, giving Steve a soft look. “But the thing is, I found some files that correspond with the dates that your Bucky-bear-“ 

“He’s not a bear,” Steve said, confused. “He’s a tiger.”

“-was captured the first time,” Tony continued without missing a beat. “There are multiple files with numbers on them, titled, subject-large-number.” 

“So you think that the same people that took him before, decided to take him again?” 

“If you think about it,” Tony said, “it makes a lot of sense. They’re doing experimentation on unwilling humans, maybe because no one would voluntarily do it, then the last prisoner gets rescued, their base destroyed, and their people scattered. So they cut their losses and move on, maybe keep an eye on that former prisoner. Much later, they learn that somehow their experimentation worked, so they grab that prisoner again and see if they can reproduce those results.” 

“But how do you know that Bucky was experimented on,” Steve asked. 

Tony looked at him sideways then said, “I called up that friend of his that you mentioned, see if I could get any additional information so I could narrow my search. He was actually a tester of one of Stark Industries prototypes! Small world.” 

“But how does that help us find Bucky?” Steve asked, frustrated. 

“We need to find out what they were trying to do first,” Tony said. “Because different experiments need different materials, and if we follow the supply lines, we can follow them right to your boy!” 

“Good idea,” Natasha said. “Do you have devices for us? Then we can split it up and try to find different things.” 

“Here,” Tony said, handing them each a tablet. “I can search for your boy’s file, Steve, you can try to find what they were trying to do, and Natasha… you can skim through everything else.” 

They all set to work, and Steve felt the warmth of his spirit mark on his forearm. He looked at the tiny tiger, and remembered the most prominent myth about spirit marks, that they were a piece of the other person's soul, attached to their soulmate. He hoped it was true. If it was true, then he had a tiny piece of Bucky with him, even if he didn’t have the real Bucky here with him. He could keep a part of Bucky safe at least.

As he scrolled through the files, he found one called “Project New Growth.” 

He opened it, and found several files inside called “previously known information,” “materials needed,” “possible formulations,” and a few others. 

He clicked on “previously known information,” and skimmed through it. Then he caught the name Erskine, and quickly read closer. 

“Johann Schmidt saved all fragments of notes from Erskine that were left even slightly legible by not being burnt properly. It is clear that he wished that his notes would never be read, and the serum never made again. However, with modern knowledge of chemistry, and advanced restoration techniques, a vague outline of his process can be made out. All that is needed is to test multiple variations of it, and eventually we will get it right.” 

Then it trailed off into science and chemistry words and abbreviations that he didn’t know. It wasn’t possible. It had to be a different project of Erskine’s. It couldn’t be-

“Hey Cap!” Tony interrupted, “I think I found your guys file! It’s way bigger than any of the other files. Apparently they were testing multiple variations on a certain chemical, injecting it into the prisoners. Most of them died from a crazy hot fever, that nothing could even come close to reducing, but a few never got the fever, and just went crazy, so they… disposed of them. 

From what I’ve gathered, Bucky was the last one still alive when everyone was rescued. He had recently been injected, had started a fever, but… when he got rescued, the fever reduced on its own. Slowly, but he survived it. 

Oh that’s weird…” Tony said, voice trailing off as he scrolled through the file. 

“What is it?” Natasha asked, curiously. “They had a camera with thermal imaging,” Tony said. “They wanted to see where the fever started, that kind of thing. 

Apparently, when Bucky’s fever started, thermal imaging picked up a part significantly cooler than the rest of his body, on his chest, over his heart.” 

On Bucky’s chest, Steve thought, feeling like he was seeing everything through a thick fog. Where his mark had stayed before it started to move. 

He remembered a dream he had in the ice, one that he had ignored, because what was the point? A dream of a bed, a feverish person tucked in, placing chunks of ice over them, because that was what was needed, holding vigil over them… 

“Steve?” Tony said, sounding concerned. “You look pale, what’s wrong?” 

“I found the file that said what they were trying to do,” Steve said, feeling distant. “They… they were trying to recreate the serum.” 

“There are a few mentions of observing him, seeing that it was likely that their experiments had worked,” Tony said quietly. 

If it had worked… if Bucky had the serum… then he would be able to hug Bucky, maybe even spar with him, without having to worry that Bucky would get hurt by him. 

That was a stupid thing to consider though, a train of thought useless until they got Bucky back. They had things to do, like actually rescue Bucky for one! 

“So we can be reasonably certain that he is a super soldier,” Tony continued. “They must be pretty confident in their skills if they think they can hold a super soldier. But how would they know that the experiment worked?” 

“Bucky said that he was suspicious of a few coworkers of his,” Steve said. “Most notably, a vet named Matthew.” 

“We can look into that, but we should analyze the rest of the files at the tower,” Natasha said dryly. “This may be a surprise to you, but being parked in a field near a base would not be a good idea if our sneaking in is discovered.” 

“And I have JARVIS at his full capacity in the tower,” Tony added. “We can give him the files for basic analysis, then go over the details ourselves. That’ll probably be the best way to get everything done as soon as possible.” 

“And find Bucky faster,” Steve said.


	22. Songbirds carry away packets of their chicks feces and drop them elsewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets in full mama hen mode

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/vz5r.png)

Once Doctor List had finished making him lift weights, and Bucky’s arm was trembling like crazy, he was hauled into another part of the base. 

A heavy door opened, and the immediate smell of animal feces hit his nose, quickly followed by a heavy scent of fear. However, there was only faint rustling and a few soft calls, not the cacophony that would result if any normal animals were trapped in a small space like this. 

At a glance, he could see a few different kinds of monkeys in a wall of small wire dog cages, some ducks and other birds in small cages, and what looked like a raccoon. 

“You will stay in here for now,” one of the soldiers said. “Now that we have a zookeeper here,  _ we  _ don’t have to take care of them anymore, or have to deal with them attacking us. You can do that instead of us.” 

“Why-“ Bucky said, horrified by the incredible abuse he was already seeing. “Why are you doing this?! You aren’t even using them!” 

“We are using them,” the soldier said dismissively. “They’re very useful on reconnaissance missions, and as surprise attackers. And Doctor List had to have some guinea pigs to test the serum on. Apparently those white tigers are really rare or something.” 

“They’re not tigers!” Bucky said sharply. If all of these animals had the serum, all of them had been subject to the horrible Doctor List. 

And these were only the ones that survived, he realized. He remembered how the cell in the first base had been so crowded at first, despite it being too big for one person. They had barely been able to fit everyone when they were sitting down, but then, it had gotten emptier as time wore on, people slowly dying of fever, losing the will to do anything but sit there until they were taken again… 

No. He couldn’t spiral now, he had to  _ focus _ . Breathe in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. 

He could feel his muscles untensing. 

Four, seven, eight. Four, seven, eight. 

There was no one else in the room, and the door closed behind him. 

Four, seven, eight. Four, seven, eight. 

He clenched his fist and unclenched it. If they wanted him to take care of the animals, he would. They deserved so much better than what they had probably gotten, and he would give them as much of that care as he could, with the materials he had. 

There was a small storage room in the corner, with gloves and masks, cleaning supplies, and food. There was a piece of paper taped to the wall that had amounts of food for each animal. 

He started with cleaning the cages, grabbing a mask and gloves (that had some pretty impressive scratches on them), and a temporary cage from the corner. 

He started with the monkeys, but the one he started with tried to escape, scratching furiously at the gloves, screaming frantically. 

He held it gently but firmly, careful to support its body fully as he placed it into the cage, along with the small ratty blanket in the original cage. 

It had obviously learned to associate touch with pain and fear, and Bucky imagined punching the soldiers in the face. 

He began to softly talk through what he was doing, hoping that the white noise might help the animals relax. 

The cage was disgusting, had probably only ever had the solids pulled out, and a quick wipe down. 

The animals would be stewing in the scent of their own fear, and the stench of other animals, which was often a way that animals used to mark their territory, only making them more stressed. 

He sanitized everything, but left the blanket alone, so the monkey could have a… literal security blanket, something that smelled familiar. 

When he was done, he placed the monkey back in the cage, taking advantage of it not panicking anymore so he could softly pet its dirty fur a bit, hoping to give him a tiny bit of comfort. 

Then he went on to the next cage, doing the same, the smell and rhythm of cleaning calming him, the distressed noises of the animals slowly quieting. 

There were all kinds of small monkeys here, and they only had Japanese macaques in the zoo. Where else would they have gotten the animals from? 

The work was hard, especially with the workout he had gotten from List making him ache, and only having one arm, but it was worth it. He was hopefully making these animals feel safer, giving them a clean place to sleep, helping them the small bit that he could. 

Eventually he came to a small group of cages on the other wall, and saw a few raccoons and… some kind of small wild cat, probably an ocelot judging by the mix of spots and stripes on the fur. 

They were in awful shape as well, bedraggled and skinny looking, and Bucky continued cleaning. 

He eventually just sat on the floor to clean the lower cages, because the muscles in his legs ached, and kneeling was hardly better. His clothes were awfully dirty anyway, and he didn’t have much dignity left when it came to the tattered and smelly zoo uniform. It was an old one anyway. 

One of the smaller cats actually snuggled up to him, making the tiniest of meows, and Bucky realized that it was a kitten! 

Well, maybe not a kitten, but definitely a young cat, and his heart broke. This tiny creature had probably been born here, in this incredibly tiny cage, smelling like waste and fear. 

They had nothing to do either, and who knew how often they had been experimented on, hurt and hated, before Bucky came along to keep List’s attention? 

Steve better come along soon. 

While Bucky wanted to escape himself, and was gathering all the information he could, it was unlikely that he could escape. The walls were strong enough to contain serum enhanced animals, even snow leopards, and they definitely weren’t underestimating him anymore. 

He knew that Steve was one of the top strategists in history, and was enhanced to boot -- like Bucky was. Bucky was actually enhanced, he still couldn’t quite fit it in his head. It had been easily proved by being able to lift those enormous weights, being able to run faster than any normal human -- was he faster than Usain Bolt now? The thought was just so bizarre -- he heard another tiny meow, and shook himself back to reality. 

He cuddled the kitten a little more, then put it in the temporary cage, and began cleaning its cage. 

Eventually he moved on to the birds. It was mostly ducks, but there were a few fancier looking ones, and even what might be a small… hawk or something? Some kind of predatory bird with enormous talons. 

He started with that one, making sure the talons couldn’t get anywhere near his skin, putting it in the temporary cage. 

Unfortunately, the waste had crusted on the bottom, a lot more stubborn than the mammals' waste, so it needed a lot of scrubbing. 

When he had finally finished all the cages, he stood up, his back popping like popcorn, his muscles aching like crazy. 

He went back to the side room with the supplies, and looked at the feeding chart, and… the amounts were enormous! 

He knew from personal experience exactly how much food macaques, and monkeys in general, needed, and this was more than twice as much! 

He remembered what Steve had said about needing a hobbit meal schedule; he knew he had been eating more after coming back and… he remembered not eating much for a while after he came back, and how quickly he got skinny, how quickly his ma got worried. But if Steve needed that many big meals… and Bucky had constantly been snacking on high calorie snacks… he was sure it was more than twice what he ate before… he remembered how easily he had been able to feel the animals bones, how skinny Misty and Foggy were. They had to know how much more food they needed, right? 

He suddenly remembered an article he had read a while ago, about bear baiting, how they had starved them so they would be more vicious, more likely to attack. 

He barely stopped himself from punching the wall -- if he did, he’d likely break a few fingers, wouldn’t be able to feed the animals, be that much less likely to escape. All he could do was to take care of them now, and make sure that they got a good home once he got rescued. 

But if he did get the chance, he would not hesitate to go after the guards, no matter how angry they got. 

He fed all the animals, and every time, they would cower as he opened the cage, tuck themselves as far away from him as they could manage, then once he had put the food in and closed the cage, they would barrel forwards to the food, and eat as fast as possible. He sat on the floor for a while, his own stomach growling like crazy, waiting for his guards to take him back to his cell. 

He needed to see Misty and Foggy, make sure that they were okay, or… as okay as they could be in this awful place. 

Eventually he heard footsteps, and stood up, his head starting to spin with hunger, black dots swirling in front of his eyes. 

He was grabbed as he staggered, and dragged down the hall, not able to get his feet under him. Then he was pushed into his cell, the door closed behind him. 

He sat down hard, his ears ringing slightly. 

Then Misty and Foggy charged into him, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him to compete for who got to lick his face first. They wriggled on top of him like puppies, making little mewls of excitement, chuffing like crazy, shoving their faces into his face. 

He couldn’t help but laugh, sputtering on fur and snow leopard tongues doing their best to lick the inside of his mouth. 

They slowly calmed down, but they began rubbing their faces on him, like they were trying to touch every bit of him, also kneading at him. It came to him that they were scent marking him, rubbing their scent on him, claiming him. 

“Are you jealous,” he said softly. “Are you jealous of those animals getting to spend time with me when you can’t? Oh my poor babies, not getting all of my attention! You are too cute!” 

Bucky scratched the tops of their heads, switching every few minutes, suddenly wishing that he had two arms again. 

A little while later, he heard footsteps going past, stopping in front of the door, two people talking to each other. 

“-it’s suspicious is all I’m saying,” one of them said. 

“A minor glitch with the files on the main server?” The other voice replied. 

“A glitch that could mean that the files were duplicated,” the first voice cut in. 

“Alright,” the second voice said. “A glitch that seems to imply that files were copied. I know that you’re paranoid sometimes Rollins, but this is ridiculous! Say we are suspected by them for whatever reason. They would have no reason to connect us to his kidnapping, much less the lab with the server! Not to mention how ridiculously fast they would have to do it! And even if it was possible, there would be no way they would ever go here! We’ve made certain that no one would ever connect this to us.” 

The first voice-Rollins-stormed off, grumbling, the second person following after. 

Bucky’s stomach dropped. 

They had obviously taken every precaution to make sure they weren’t implicated in his kidnapping. 

Had Steve even realized that he had been taken? Would he be searching for him at all, much less actually be able to find Bucky? 

Steve had been wary of having a soulmate after all, what if-Misty plopped on his chest, Foggy curling up along his side. 

Whatever the case may be, Bucky couldn’t do anything about it, and besides, if it was true that they had copied some files off of a server belonging to the people that had captured him, then they were much further along than his kidnapped expected them to be, so they would be unlikely to make things more complicated.


	23. There are more than 260 different species of monkeys in the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a bit of a breakdown, and Tony helps

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/6hbj.png)

~Bucky was in front of him, looking tattered and worn, covered in mud and blood, looking like one of the corpses left in the trenches. 

“Are you ok?” Steve asked, trying to move towards him. “What happened?” 

Bucky looked at him with hollow eyes, a ragged gash on his cheek. “It’s your fault,” he said hollowly. “It’s your fault I got taken, your fault that I got hurt!” 

“No,” Steve said, heart breaking, shocked by the vehemence in his voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” 

“It’s your fault!” Bucky shouted, “if you hadn’t been so clingy, if you had just stayed away like you wanted to, I never would have gotten their attention! I could have been home safe! I hate you!” 

“No!” Steve sobbed out. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry! Please let me make it up to you!” 

“You never will,” Bucky hissed in hatred, and began to run. 

Suddenly, a cage appeared in front of Bucky, trapping him, and a figure in a robe appeared behind him. 

As Bucky rattled at the cage walls, ice began creeping up the sides, making Bucky shiver violently. 

The figure took off the hood, revealing the Red Skull. Steve tried to shout, but no noise came out, his words strangled in his throat.

“Ah,” he said, looking satisfied. “My dear Captain, your soulmate will be perfect for our experiments, but first…” he pulled out one of the Chitauri’s guns. “We need to make sure he can’t attack.” 

Then he shot Bucky, a wave of ice shooting out of the barrel, so cold that he could feel it from here. 

Bucky was frozen in place, glazed with ice, frozen in time. 

“I’ve never seen someone fail their soulmate so utterly,” the Red Skull laughed, picking up the cage. “And you will only fail him more.” 

Then he began to move, impossibly fast, still holding the cage that Bucky was frozen in. 

Steve’s legs could move now, and he ran as fast as he could manage, the Red Skull only getting farther and farther away. He put on a burst of speed and~

Slam! His forehead burst with pain, and he fell backwards, his elbows slamming into… the floor? 

He opened his eyes, and… was he in his room? He stared at the ceiling, black dots swirling in front of his eyes. 

Where was Bucky? And… wait, the Red Skull was dead, destroyed by the tesseract. 

What? 

“Good morning Captain Rogers,” JARVIS said. “You are in your room in Avengers tower. It is currently five forty-seven in the morning on Saturday, July 20, twenty-thirteen. You just ran at the wall, I’m assuming because of a nightmare.” 

Steve’s head was spinning a little bit, and he stared at the wall. 

He had been dreaming. And he had run into a wall? 

He stood up shakily, his head aching. His mark was warm on his chest, and the urge to keep running came to him, then faded. 

He was in the complete opposite direction than he would have expected, like he had gotten up from his bed, turned around, and then ran. 

He changed out of his PJ’s and took a shower, so he could go downstairs for breakfast. 

When he stepped out of the elevator, he saw Fury at the table. 

“Fury?” he asked, surprised and off balance from the nightmare. “What are you doing here?” 

“I heard that you decided to take over my op,” he said, sounding way too casual. “And no one will give me a straight answer as to why they let you do it.” 

Steve was relieved, Natasha hadn’t told Fury, and neither had Tony, even though he had no clue why they wouldn’t. 

“There’s a good reason,” Steve said. “But if they’re not saying it, then there’s a good reason for it.” 

“And the intel is pretty interesting,” Fury continued, strangely unconcerned. “Apparently there are files they found that imply that Hydra scientists were the ones that made the files you found.” 

“Hydra?!” Steve said, way too loud. There was no way they still existed, he had destroyed them, torn down every base of theirs, had  _ died _ to take them down! 

“Yes, Hydra,” Fury said, as Steve’s head spun. “They’ve been spreading their rhetoric, recruiting believers. They’re keeping it pretty secret, but their goal seems to be to take over some pretty important organizations. They’ve even got a few moles in SHIELD.” 

Fury was gazing calmly at Steve, watching him, looking for weak spots. 

“Really Fury?!” Tony interrupted, “you better not be stealing my food! You were not invited, so you don’t get any of it!” 

“You’re a billionaire,” Fury said dryly, finally taking his piercing gaze off of Steve. “You could buy me breakfast a billion times and never make a dent in your fortune.” 

“It’s  _ polite _ ,” Tony said. “And I need Steve here for some advice on the thought process of old geezers like you.” 

He dragged Steve towards the elevator. “Toodeloo!” 

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind Steve, his knees buckled, and he slid to the floor, breathing heavily. All he had done was for  _ nothing,  _ and Hydra was alive and well. 

“Hey,” Tony said softly. “Let's get out of the elevator okay? It’ll be a lot more comfortable to break down on the couch.” 

Tony half hauled him up, pulling him towards the couch in… was this the Penthouse? As he flopped on the couch, he heard Pepper walk up. 

“What happened?” she asked, as Steve tried to push down the tears. 

“Fury happened,” Tony said firmly. “Told him that Hydra was still around, tried to pressure him into telling him about why we went after the base.”

Steve had failed, everything he was known for was a lie,  _ and Bucky was in the hands of his greatest enemy.  _

He let loose an involuntary sob, choking on spit, and his head  _ ached.  _

“Hey,” Pepper said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. “What’s the matter?” 

“I-“ Steve choked out. “My spirit animal is a monkey,” he managed dully. 

“And why is that a bad thing,” Tony asked softly, sitting by Steve’s head, and putting a soft hand on his hair. 

“I-I,” Steve gasped out, “I thought I was done being a performing monkey, thought that I had stopped because I went to rescue everyone from Azzano, but everything I did was  _ useless,  _ and it’s like I was destined to have all my efforts come to nothing!” 

He couldn’t help the sob bursting from his throat, tears coming to his eyes, and he started to cry miserably. 

The only thing that he could focus on was Tony and Pepper, staying close, talking softly, reassuring him. When his tears ran out, they were still there, sitting with him, a hand from each of them on him. 

“Feeling a bit better?” Pepper asked kindly. 

“No,” Steve managed, face hot from embarrassment and tears. 

“Steve,” Tony said. “You are not just a performing monkey. You did some pretty incredible things during the war, and prevented a lot of deaths, prevented Hydra from destroying the world back in 1945. Even if you didn’t destroy them completely, you almost did, and then you were dead, so you couldn’t exactly go on missions while you were frozen right?” 

“No,” Steve managed. “But my spirit animal shows that I’m nothing more than a performing monkey, nothing more than what I tried to stop being!” 

He sobbed again, eyes too dry to cry. 

“Steve,” Tony said softly. “Do you know what my spirit animal is?” 

“No,” Steve said, turning over. 

“My spirit animal is a vulture,” Tony said. “When I saw it on Pepper, found out that she was my soulmate, I was horrified. 

The vulture is most commonly seen as a symbol of death and decay, with a connection to ancient gods of war. 

I was already called the Merchant of Death in the papers, but that? It was the worst kind of confirmation I could get, that I was such an awful person that even my spirit animal would reflect that. I kept making weapons anyway because I felt like that was the only thing I could do right, and I was already a bad person, so why try?” 

“But you’re good,” Steve said, confused as to why Tony was telling this story. 

“I try my best,” Tony said softly. “But then I got kidnapped. One of the other prisoners there, he told me that the vulture didn’t only represent death, it also represented rebirth and renewal, purification. He inspired me to make the first Iron Man suit, to keep going and become a better person. 

And when I came back, I spent time with JARVIS, with my other robots, made sure they were okay after my absence. Pepper told me that another thing a vulture symbolized was a fantastic mother, a symbol of creation. 

Your spirit animal is not the be all end all. You can match some of the aspects of it and not all. Yeah, it’s an important part of you, and it represents a lot of important things about you, but no animal fits one hundred percent, it’s only the one that  _ best  _ represents you, not one that’s _ perfect _ . 

Humans are complicated, and you are not just a performing monkey.” 

“But… everybody else always said that it was,” Steve said, feeling the faintest bit of hope. 

“It’s not,” Tony said. 

“And a monkey isn’t all bad,” Pepper added. “It’s a symbol of intelligence, artistry, being hard working, and being agile, both physically and mentally. If what little I know about you is correct, then you’re all those things and more. 

Look it up yourself, and see what you find. It’s very interesting when you’re looking it up for yourself.” 

“And we  _ are  _ going to find your soulmate,” Tony said. “no matter what it takes. We’ll get him back, I promise.”

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/dkdk.png)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the picture at the end is the Iron Vulture and his chicks! I had the idea for this a bit ago, and Mortenavida encouraged me to create it, and also put it in this story, even though she’s the official artist for this story. Thanks so much Mortenavida!


	24. Dogs can forget events less than two minutes after it happened

[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/xgne.png)

Bucky ached all over from yesterday, from so much exercise that tested his limits, then cleaning so much, and sleeping on a concrete floor. 

He definitely wasn’t looking forward to today’s torture. 

He heard the thump of footsteps, and tried to calm the growls of Misty and Foggy, who looked ready to attack if they took him. 

Bucky had no clue what would happen to them if they did, and he definitely couldn’t risk it. He held on tight to the scruff of Misty’s neck with his hand, tried to keep Foggy close to him with his arm, and spoke to them softly, hoping to convince them that he wasn’t worried, that they didn’t need to protect him. 

His voice shook though, and his heart was beating quick in his chest. 

He had no clue what would happen today -- more medical stuff, or testing him more? 

The door opened, and Misty tried to lunge, but Bucky held her back. 

“Looks like all they needed to behave was some motivation,” one of the soldiers said with a grin. 

The rest grabbed him quickly, all wearing tough looking clothes, and a few keeping Misty and Foggy at bay. 

They hauled him out of the room to… another different room? How many torture rooms were there in this base?! 

The room was focused on a large chair in the centre, a few computer screens and machines around the edges. 

The chair was made of metal, and had restraints attached to it, an odd halo thing above where his head would be if he sat in it. 

His heart sank a bit. 

Looks like they were going to actually torture him next. The testing and the medical stuff was bad, yes, but it was done for a reason that  _ wasn’t _ to torture him, and that was bad enough. If they were actually going to make an effort to torture him… 

He was shoved into the chair, and someone pressed a button, making the restraints snap over his limbs, locking him in place. 

He struggled against them. If he was so much stronger than any normal human, then surely he could pull his way out of these restraints. 

He tugged with all his might, trying to find a weak spot, something he could capitalize on to escape. But nothing worked. He writhed and tugged on the restraints until he was gasping for air, and nothing had even budged. 

“We know how to restrain a super soldier as you can see,” Doctor List said. “We have had much experience over the years. Resisting is completely futile.” 

“What is even the point of this?” Bucky asked. “What are you even trying to torture me into?” 

“This is not torture,” Doctor List said. “This is to make you willing to do our bidding, to make you loyal to us!” 

“How-“ Bucky said, but was interrupted by the doctor shoving a mouth guard in his mouth, and pressing a button. 

There was a whirring of machinery, and the halo lowered, plates of metal covering his eyes, as if he were at the optometrist. 

They pressed against his face, and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise. 

Then his face burned. 

A scorching pain leapt across his face like fire, every muscle in his body tightening, cramping, pain in his skull like freezing cold and burning hot at the same time, and a scream escaped him, scraping his throat raw-

+-+

Something was wrong. 

Bucky opened his eyes slowly, his entire body aching, a headache throbbing in his skull. 

What had happened? 

His throat ached, probably from screaming? and… he was restrained. 

He was sitting in a hard metal chair, all his limbs restrained, but twitching involuntarily, an odd plastic thing in his mouth. 

He opened his eyes and saw… a doctor, one that gave him a very bad feeling, that made his heart race and his breathing catch, the name was on the tip of his tongue… 

“And how are you feeling soldier,” Doctor… List! It was Doctor List that was speaking, and he was pretty sure it was him that had hurt Bucky, made him lose his memory. 

“Fuck you,” he rasped out. “And I’m Bucky, not a soldier anymore.” 

“Hmmm,” the doctor said. “I see that I will have to turn it up, but first, do you know what the point of this exercise was?” 

“It’s not torture?” Bucky asked, trying to get his scrambled brain back in order. “Because I have no idea what it would be except for torture. Is this a trick question?” 

“So it did work,” the doctor said with a slimy grin. “At least partially. We might have to do it quite a few times, and maybe turn it up a bit, but I can’t see why-“ an enormous crash shook the room, making the lightbulbs flicker, and the computer monitors turn off for a long second.

A few crashes were heard from another room. 

“What?!” Doctor List exclaimed, obviously not expecting it. “Guards! Go check the exits! We need to lock down the building!” 

The soldiers exited the room in a wave, and Bucky tugged at the restraints… again? But with the trembling of his muscles, he could barely control his limbs properly. 

The crashing increased, and there were shouts from the outside, and Doctor List began to pace. 

Then someone… or something was banging against the door, and the lock broke with a groan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! You’ll just have to wait for tomorrow!


	25. Chimpanzees will conduct raids on neighbouring communities of chimps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a revelation

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/p4e6.png)

Steve woke up after he slammed into the wall again. 

His forehead (and head in general) ached. 

After Fury had left, and Tony had talked with him, they had spent the rest of the day going over the files, trying to find information. 

Clint and Sharon had called in, saying that it was likely that their designated spots were somewhere that the STRIKE team had met someone to do unsavoury business, maybe a black market deal, and it was unlikely that they would return. They agreed to plant cameras there and come back to the tower. 

After all, more heads were always better. ...No wonder Hydra held on so easily. 

As the day had gone on, Steve had gotten exhausted quickly, both mind and body, despite the fact that he had a decent sleep considering his dream. 

He had gone to bed early and here he was, slamming his head into the wall for the second night in a row. 

In the same direction too, he realized, looking around. 

As he got up, he felt his spirit mark on his chest, leading him forwards, and he  _ needed  _ to keep running, keep going until… he didn’t know. 

He had felt this yesterday as well, but it was stronger now, lasted longer than the brief urge he had gotten yesterday. 

What was happening to him? 

He grudgingly got up, and stumbled to the common room, feeling like he had only gotten an hour or two of sleep. 

“You alright?” Clint, who was sitting next to Natasha, asked, looking concerned. “You have a nasty bruise on your forehead and nose.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, flopping on the couch. “It’s just… it’s weird. Far as I know, I slept the whole night, but I feel like I only got an hour or two.” 

“Oh no,” Clint said, wincing in sympathy. “That’s not exactly an uncommon reaction if someone that’s important to you is missing though.” 

“That’s not the weird part,” Steve sighed as Tony, Pepper, and Bruce came in, yawning. “The weird part is, for the last two nights I woke up because I ran face first into a wall and slammed my face into it.” 

“Really?” Tony said. “I’ve heard of sleepwalking, but sleep running? I guess you have to be extra with everything because you’re a super soldier and all.” 

“Anything else weird?” Bruce asked. “Do you have any symptoms of a concussion or anything?” 

“I don’t think so,” Steve said. “But after I woke up, I felt like I had to go in that direction, like a compulsion, and it was stronger this morning.” 

“Ok, that  _ is  _ weird,” Pepper said. “I wonder why that is happening.” 

“And I ended up in the exact same spot both nights,” Steve said. “Like I slightly deepened the dent in the plaster this morning, that’s how exact it was.” 

“Steve,” Clint said, looking thoughtful. “Have you ever gotten that feeling like you should go in a certain direction before?” 

“Now that I think about it,” Steve said. “I felt it before we went to the lab, but it was like we were going in the wrong direction.” 

“Well,” Clint said, blinking in surprise. “It’s pretty obvious why you want to go in that direction then, because your soulmate bond is pulling you towards your soulmate!” 

“Birdbrain,” Tony said. “You’ve obviously read too many fantasy books, it’s a myth, a legend.” 

“But think about it,” Clint said. “Everything about Steve was enhanced, strength, speed, smarts, everything! Why wouldn’t it enhance the soulmate bond, especially if your soulmate is also enhanced!” 

“And if you wanted to go in the same direction every time…” Natasha said. “And if the lab, where we didn’t find Bucky, was the wrong way… Which direction did you want to go in when you were in Tony’s jet?” 

Steve spun around, orienting himself, and pointed south west, which was also exactly where he wanted to go. “Around there,” he said. 

“JARVIS,” Tony called. “What direction did Steve run in his sleep for the last two mornings?” 

“In that exact direction that Captain Rogers is pointing sir,” JARVIS said. 

“It was in a weird direction too,” Steve said, a giddy joy rising in his belly. “It was like I got out of bed, then turned around and ran.” 

“So it’s like your body made a deliberate choice to go that way,” Bruce said, sounding fascinated. 

“The chances of this being a coincidence is tiny,” Pepper said. “I feel like it’s very likely that it is the bond pulling you to Bucky in some way.” 

“Then what are we waiting for,” Steve said, feeling jittery with adrenaline. “Let’s go now, so Bucky can be safe.” 

“For one,” Natasha said dryly, “you are still in your pyjamas. We need to get into our suits just in case there’s guards. We can meet at the Quinjet once we’re ready, but-“ she looked Steve in the eyes sharply. “There will be no take off until all of us who want to go are on the jet, no exceptions. Got that Steve?” 

“Fine,” he said. “Can you all please get ready as soon as possible?” 

“I just need to grab my suit,” Tony said. “We’ll meet you on the jet.” 

Steve raced out of the room, scrambling to his floor. He took a quick shower to take up a little bit of time so he wouldn’t get tempted to disobey Natasha’s orders, but he still probably got ready faster than he ever had. 

There had been an air raid during the war where he might have been faster, but he doubted it. 

Tony was on the jet already, his suit in the corner, but no one else. 

Steve couldn’t help but slump a little; it would only take more time to rescue Bucky now, and who knew what was happening to him?! 

“It’ll be fine,” Tony said. “We’ll get him back.” 

Steve tried to smile, but the frantic energy was already wearing off. 

Then Bruce came in carrying a medical kit. “Figured I’d bring this just in case,” he said. “I highly doubt you’ll need the Hulk, but in case B-- ...anyone gets injured, it’s better to be safe than sorry.” 

“Good idea,” Steve said. He had some battlefield medical knowledge, but it wasn’t much, and he probably wouldn’t be as calm as a medic needed to be if Bucky was hurt. 

Then Natasha and Clint walked up the ramp, dressed in their suits. 

Clint passed Steve on his way to the cockpit and said, “Hey Cap, come up here. If you’re the one who knows where we’re going, you should be my copilot.” 

“I’m not good at flying planes,” Steve said, his nerves surging up again at the sight out the windshield, being strapped into the seat… 

“The last one I flew, I crashed pretty badly.” 

Clint laughed a bit. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “This baby is pretty much self flying, I’m just here to make sure nothing out of the ordinary is happening. I don’t think the copilot has ever actually been used in any Quinjet that I know of.” 

“That’s a relief,” Steve said as the jet began to rise, remembering the feel of the yoke in his hands, the giddy feeling of falling… 

“We should go that way,” he remembered, pointing. “That’s where we need to go.” 

Clint turned the jet, and they headed off.

+-+

Steve could feel them getting closer, the ache in his chest getting stronger, and leading more downwards. 

A building on the horizon broke up the endless fields that had been their only scenery for miles. 

Clint kept the Quinjet hovering in place, making sure that the cloaking had been turned on. They gathered the others in the cockpit so they could figure out what to do next. 

“It doesn’t look like a civilian lab,” Natasha said. “It looks more like a military base, and there are no military bases that SHIELD knows of anywhere near here.” 

“So it could be where Bucky is,” Steve said, feeling even more jittery now that they were  _ so close _ . 

“We shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” Bruce said, “it could be that-“ 

Steve’s ears began to ring,  _ something was wrong _ . Something was wrong and a headache was squeezing his brain, his muscles were twitching and tight. The ringing was receding, and his knees were wobbling now, and someone was holding him up, supporting him. 

He blinked heavily, and stood up properly again. 

“Something is wrong,” Steve said, looking around, his heart beating faster. “Bucky-he’s in danger, we need to go after him!” 

The others looked at each other significantly, and Tony nodded. “Let’s go.”

Clint got back into the pilot’s seat, and the jet began to descend. 

Tony stepped into his suit, and as the bottom of the cargo bay opened, he flew out. 

As the jet touched down, Steve could hear the whine of the repulsors charging and he could feel an explosion shake the ground. 

He ran, charging through the door, shield in front, barely having to slow down. He charged through the halls, and as he turned the corner he saw a group of soldiers and plowed through them. 

He couldn’t wait, he needed to get to Bucky, he couldn’t waste the time to deal with them. 

He hurried along, following the tug, the warmth of his mark on his chest, leading the way. 

There was a large door in front of him, reinforced and thick. He slammed the shield into the door, and it shook, but held steady. 

He looked at the door, and resettled the shield on his arm, and slammed it into the door again. 

It banged open with a screech of hinges, revealing a lab full of machines with the focus on a large metal chair in the centre of the room. 

Bucky was strapped in it, looking ragged and dirty. 

He stared into Bucky’s eyes. They were stunning, a stormy grey-blue, impossibly deep, fringed with long dark lashes, clumped together with tears. He had deep bruises under his eyes and on his temples, and looked exhausted. 

Then he heard someone sputtering, “How-how did you find us?! It shouldn’t be possible!” 

It was a scientist-looking person, lab coat and all. This was probably the person that hurt Bucky, had maybe run experiments on him. 

He remembered the experiments that the SSR had run on him, which were bad enough, but done by a Hydra agent? It only could be worse. 

He slammed his shield into the scientists face, cutting off the rant, and sending him to the floor, then rushed forwards. 

“Bucky!” He cried out, starting to tug at the restraints. 

“You won’t be able to break them,” Bucky said. “They apparently made sure that not even a super soldier could break them.” 

Did… did Bucky know that he had been enhanced? 

“What controls it,” Steve said, reluctantly moving towards the control panel. 

“I… don’t remember,” Bucky said hesitantly. 

Luckily, there was a label in shorthand above each button, and Steve pressed the one labeled “restrain.” The restraints made a clicking sound, and released. 

Bucky pushed himself out of the chair, nearly toppling over, but Steve moved across the room quickly, and caught and held him. 

Steve collapsed to his knees, a wave of warmth surging through him, smelling the scent of Bucky, who was burying his face in Steve’s neck, and he felt tears wet on his neck. 

He was crying too, he realized, feeling the solidness and warmth of Bucky against him, so different from the dream where Bucky had dissolved out from under him, leaving him cold. 

He squeezed Bucky tight. 

He had him now, and could protect him.


	26. The fur on a snow leopard’s stomach can be up to five inches thick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The animals get saved

  
[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/29/inde.png)

Bucky felt dizzy with relief. Steve was  _ here! _

Steve had come to rescue him within days, and now he was here, having pulled Bucky into a hug, kneeling on the floor. 

He couldn’t help the tears streaming down his face with the visceral relief of being safe again. 

Then the room rocked again, and Bucky thought, what about the animals? Would they be safe? 

“Steve,” he managed, pulling his face from the warmth of his neck, and pulled them into a sitting position. 

“There are animals here, ones they did experiments on. They rightfully hate humans, and might attack. They’re in cages on… I think the opposite side of the building?” 

“I’ll relay that,” Steve said, putting a hand to his ear. 

“And make sure they don’t open the one big cell either,” Bucky continued. “There are some pretty pissy snow leopards in there, that’s where I stayed.” 

Steve’s eyes widened, but he relayed it through the comms. 

“You stayed in the cell with the, in your own words, ‘pretty pissy snow leopards.’ You’re ok right?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed, leaning into Steve’s side. “Those snow leopards? I raised them from when they were cubs and had lost their mother, then I was told that they were being sent to another zoo. 

But once I got here, I found out that they had been taken here, experimented on, and trained to kill. They recognized me, and tried to protect me, but… they were subject to the same experiments that I was, which is…” 

“The serum,” Steve said roughly, hugging Bucky closer. “We found some files that gave us a pretty good idea of what they were trying to do.” 

Then the door opened, and Steve stiffened sharply. Before he could grab the shield again, Iron Man came in first, hands up in surrender. Bucky could feel Steve relax slightly. 

“Hey Cap,” he said, Hawkeye and the Black Widow coming in behind him. “And Bucky bear. So the damsel in distress has been saved?” 

Bucky wanted to protest, but he was tired, and did not feel like arguing with Iron Man right now. 

“What kind of experiments were they doing to the animals here?” Hawkeye asked. 

“They were giving them the serum,” Bucky said. “Enhancing them. That’s why I said to not go in the cell, because they kept twin enhanced snow leopards in there. I raised them from cubs before they were taken here, so they protect me, but hate other humans.” 

“Can you show us where they are?” The Black Widow asked, “because if they cooperate with you, then getting them out of here will be a lot easier.” 

“Sure,” Bucky said, wobbling to his feet with Steve supporting him.

They all tramped out of the room, and when they got to the cells, the Black Widow pulled out a small device and placed it on the keypad. The lock clicked, and the others backed away, except for Steve. 

Bucky walked into the room, thankful for Steve’s support even if he didn’t need it, and saw them. 

They looked cautious, probably because of Steve, but when he dropped to his knees and Steve took a step back, they came up to him quickly. 

They looked him over, shoving their faces into his chest and neck, making soft chuffing noises as they investigated him. 

He could practically feel Steve’s tension from here, but he petted them and talked to them, saying that Steve wasn’t a threat. 

Steve slowly edged closer, and they tensed a bit, but kept near Bucky. 

When Steve had made it within biting distance, Misty made a faint growl, but Foggy pushed her face towards Steve, and sniffed delicately at his offered wrist. Then she chuffed softly, and pushed closer. 

“You can pet her,” Bucky said to Steve. “She’ll probably appreciate it, I only have one hand to give scritches with after all.” 

Steve cautiously began to pet her, then said in awe, “She has so much fur!” 

“I know,” Bucky said, “that’s the reaction of everyone petting a snow leopard for the first time.” 

Then Iron Man poked his head in, and Misty growled again, more irritated now. 

“We should probably get going to the Quinjet,” he said cautiously. “So… come along when you’re ready I guess? We’re currently working on getting the other animals to the jet.” 

“Thank you Tony,” Steve said. “We’ll make sure that they don’t go after anyone.” 

Once Tony disappeared, they continued petting Misty and Foggy for a while, but Bucky knew that they had to stop eventually. “We need to get to the jet,” he said, slowly standing up and stretching. “I am more than ready to get out of this place, and I’m sure that they are too.” 

Steve stood up slowly, and began to move to the exit, and as they walked away, the twins followed them out. 

Once they made it to the jet, Misty and Foggy got a bit more jittery, but Bucky made sure that Steve gently grabbed their scruffs, so if they decided to attack, they could make sure that no one got hurt. 

There were a lot of cages on the jet, filled with animals and very cramped, but they all knew that it was the only way to get them all somewhere that they could be happy. 

They led the twins to the back storage area, and sat in front, so they wouldn’t be as tempted to go after anyone. 

“What do we do now?” A nerdy looking older man said… was this the guy who turned into the Hulk? Probably. “These animals need places to live, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want them in the hands of anyone who would want to reproduce the serum.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky said, feeling sad. They had come to the conversation he had been dreading. “But I’m most worried about Misty and Foggy. I know well that predators that have tasted human meat will be more likely to kill humans in the future, and apparently they’ve been sent on quite a few missions. They are protective of me, and have followed all my orders so far, but they’re wary of most humans, which only makes them more likely to attack. 

I’ve raised them since they were cubs, so I really don’t want to have to put them down-“ his voice cracked, because that would be the last straw. Have his babies, who had comforted and protected him for this whole time, be put down because they would probably attack any other humans… 

“I have an idea,” Hawkeye said. “It’s kind of crazy, but it would satisfy everyone, they don’t have to be put down, but they won’t put anyone else in danger…”


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to leave this one until tomorrow... but I’m not that cruel! I hope you enjoy!

Bucky walked into the office of Darlene, his therapist since he had actually decided to make an effort to heal mentally. 

“Bucky?!” She said, surprised. “I had been told that you were kidnapped, what are you doing here so soon?” 

“I was,” Bucky said. “But I got rescued. But first, I need to do something.” 

He pulled the small device from his pocket, one that Tony had promised would “detect all bugs, yes really!” 

He waved it around in the pattern that Tony had made him memorize, and there were no beeps, like he had hoped. 

She raised an eyebrow, but said, “I’m so glad to see you again.” 

“I am too,” Bucky said. “Since my last session, the craziest things have happened. I’m partially here to tell you though, that I might have to change around my appointment time, maybe even switch to doing Skype therapy or something.” 

“And why is that?” She asked. 

“For one, you know those snow leopard cubs that I raised, the ones that were sent away?” 

“Yes…” she said. 

“Well I found them during this week and-for legit reasons, I promise-kind of adopted them.” 

“I’m sorry what?” She said dryly, raising an eyebrow. 

“It makes more sense in context I promise,” Bucky said. “But because of that, I’m currently packing to move to a house in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere, so I have to find a way to get here every week.” 

“And how does getting kidnapped lead to that?” She asked. 

“It’s a long story,” Bucky said. “And it didn’t start with me being kidnapped, it started when Captain America went to my zoo…”

[Link to picture ](https://zupimages.net/up/20/31/mgx4.jpg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this story is complete! But for those of you that are disappointed that there was minimal Stucky, do not worry! There is a sequel to this story that is currently being written! While this story had quite a bit of action and minimal fluff, the next story will be mostly fluff, with some action, so be prepared!
> 
> However, I prefer to start posting stories when the first draft is at least mostly finished, and the outline for the next story is significantly longer than the first one. The first story took me three months, so who knows how long the second one will take!
> 
> On the fourth of August, the first year anniversary of me creating this account, I will be posting a war era hurt Steve Stucky fic, so keep an eye out! I hope you enjoyed this fic!

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, all the chapter titles in this story are fun animal facts! I hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
